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Thread: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

  1. #61
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    "I didn't rest on the Sabbath."
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  2. #62
    old school unit300021's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    A few months after 9/11 my brother flew down to visit for some holiday, I forget which one. Well my Grandma was in town also. When my brother left my mom told him to call when he got home. He did and I was the one lucky enough to answer the phone. I thought I would play a joke on my mom and grandma so I made myself cry and went down and told them that it was the police that just called and there was a plane crash and my brother had died. They immediate jumped and I immediately told them the truth that it was a joke and he was fine. Now I've done worse in my life but I've always felt if there was any specific thing that would determine I go to hell I've always felt that would be it. To be in eighth grade and not think about stuff.
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  3. #63
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I secretly hoped my father in law would hurry up and die so he wouldn't die during Coachella weekend.
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  4. #64
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I jerked off my grandpa once. He didn't want it.

  5. #65
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    We were driving to a rave in 2001 in Lake Perris called How Sweet It Is. There were two car loads of people and in my car there was a guy named Tim. Tim was a bit of an idiot to begin with so it was my bad judgement to allow him into my vehicle. Well, we get to the Palm Springs and Tim starts acting a little strange. He tells us he took acid... Ok, no big deal I guess.

    We get to Beaumont (I believe) and get off the highway and the minute we stop the car, he freaks out and asks why we stopped (we were in a Carl's Jr. parking lot). I told him we needed to get food, then gas and he started screaming, "BUT THE COPS ARE HERE AND CAN HEAR US THROUGH THE RADIO."

    Turns out he took 7 red geltabs and was out of his mind. He proceeds to get out of the car and stuff his money (roughly $500) behind a dumpster because he thinks the cops will take it from him. He refuses to get back in the car and says he needs to call his parents to come pick his up before the cops do . He believed they had been listening to him the whole time.

    After an undetermined period of time of arguing and chasing him around, someone in our group attempted to call his parents and tell them what's going on. They refuse to pick him up. We tell him we are going to leave him there if he refuses to come with us. So, we left him there...

    But then after we did that, I turned around, drove back to the Carls Jr parking lot, went behind the dumpster and took his money and pretended like it never happened. We used it to pay for an extra hotel room and miscellaneous items. One of his friends went back to pick him up though, so he came back and started questioning what we did with his money. Everyone told him that he left it and to go fuck himself.

    So, I stole a lot of money and ditched someone who was a "friend" in California who was on acid... but fuck that guy.
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    That was Daft Punk, you stupid retarded mongoloid mother fuckers.
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    Win even thanked them again towards the end. Just because you trifling bitches weren't there ...

  6. #66
    old school Drewski27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I have a time share down there.
    Quote Originally Posted by EmberVega View Post
    You guys are mean. Sexy people are not meant to be smart.
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  7. #67
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I don't get why people take so much. There's almost never going to be a good outcome when taking 7.
    Quote Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings View Post
    kvnty offered me 2 fists for one companion parking pass

  8. #68

    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    When I was in elementary (probably around 10 years old) I started a drug cartel. We took those little "Rocket" candies, crushed them up and put them into little baggies. At recess we would go around and sell them to other kids and get them to play the "drug cartel game" as well. After a few days there were quite a few kids who were buying these bags of candy off us until one kid went a little too far and actually tried snorting the powdered candy. He ended up getting a really bad nose bleed and ratted us out.

    When I was a teenager we went to this small city where my grandparents grew up. My cousin and I were staying in a hotel room and ended up getting drunk and stoned. We decided to do some prank phone calls. So we looked up the area code and common first 3 digits of the city we were staying in. After a few prank calls we called one number where what sounded like an old lady picked up the phone. I told the woman that I was outside of her window and that I was coming to get her..... then I hung up. The next morning my uncle knocks on the door and tells us that someone from this hotel called the house of my great grandmother and threatened her. Neither of us had any idea what her phone number was, and amazingly we made that 1 in 9999 fluke of calling her house. 15+ years later and we still deny that it was us.
    06,11,12,13,14(1+2)

  9. #69

    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I wore polyester.

  10. #70
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I'm me.

  11. #71

    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    My friends and I used to throw cups of water at drive-thru employees when we were teenagers. Really though this thread so far is not living up to its premise, I think the things that make us terrible people are the things we do day in and day out without any intention of ever changing.

    (like me posting, get it)

  12. #72
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I got caught doing something I shouldn't, and denied it to to death. My mom knew better, and pulled out a bible and told me to swear on it that I was telling the truth, and I did, even though I was lying. I think I can still feel my hand burning.
    I punched ThatGirl in the face when I first met her.

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  13. #73
    Coachella Junkie stinkbutt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I gave my son a bag of gummi worms and some fruit roll-ups instead of cooking him dinner on account of being too hungover
    Re: GayInTucson's illiterate ass

    Quote Originally Posted by EmberVega View Post
    I don't think we'll be hearing from him again. R.I.P

  14. #74
    Coachella Junkie stinkbutt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I also pushed my sister down the stairs when we were like 8 and 7.

    In 6th grade I was the kid who introduced drugs into the very small Catholic school, of my class of 30 about 5 of those kids wound up with really bad drug and drinking problems. Those 5 kids were the ones I did drugs with first.

    I also picked on a kid in 4th grade who later grew up grew up and killed himself, granted it was because of a girl that dumped him. I do feel a bit better that I did run into him at one point and apologized profusely that I was such a shitty child.
    Re: GayInTucson's illiterate ass

    Quote Originally Posted by EmberVega View Post
    I don't think we'll be hearing from him again. R.I.P

  15. #75
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    I punched ThatGirl in the face when I first met her.
    Do you really think THAT would be the thing that would land you in hell?
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  16. #76
    old school buddy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    She sweared on the bible she didn't do it.

  17. #77
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I coveted her punching you.
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  18. #78
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I punch my computer monitor when she comes into tiny chat
    Quote Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings View Post
    kvnty offered me 2 fists for one companion parking pass

  19. #79
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by Dogvolta View Post
    Early elementary years.
    I'd go to my grandparent's apartments that they lived at/managed after school got out. There was a hispanic kid, Ernie, a few years older than me that loved to hang out with me because he found out the TV in my grandparents "junk room" had the porno channel. My days with him consisted of watching porn (I was too young to even care about it), throwing rocks at cars driving the overpass by the apartments hoping to shatter windows/cause an accident, and spitting on the toddlers that ran around the complex. I distinctly remember 2 drug related instances:
    1. Ernie took me to a neighboring apartment building to sit in this room with this old hispanic dude. The house reeked (of pot, but I didn't know what the hell the smell was) and the old hispanic guy gave me a dirty eye and asked Ernie who I was. Ernie bought drugs that day.
    2. I knocked on Ernie's door to see if he wanted to go in the pool. His mom answered, I remember her face being very scrunched up with bloody looking eyes. She laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed at the fact that someone was at her door asking her son to go outside and play. Ernie finally came to the door and pushed her out of the way and said "lets go".

    One day while watching porn with Ernie and another kid from the complex, someone had the bright idea of copying whatever it was the actors on screen were doing. Ernie took me into the bathroom and pulled out his hard-on and told me to suck it. Once again, I was too young to realize what the fuck was going on, but I was old enough to realize that it was fucking gross regardless, so I said no. I walked out of the bathroom, Ernie got the other kid, Javier, to go in the bathroom. However long later Javier came out of the bathroom spitting and wiping his mouth and looking distressed.

    A month or so later Ernie and I were in the junk room watching TV when a very very drunk father of Javier came bursting into the room, with my grandparents trying to hold him back. He was crying and yelling, his wife was crying and trying to hold him back. Javier stood behind everyone crying and looking down. The dad grabbed Ernie and was screaming a bunch of shit at Ernie.

    That was the day I first heard the word "******"

    I guess Ernie is the one that might be going to hell. Once my parents found out about ALL this shit they never let me go back to my grandparents until they moved, which they did eventually.

    Thank god I did't suck that guy's dick.
    While it may not be the "...why Ernie is going to Hell" thread, this totally wins so far.


    My hate crime.
    I also, technically, kidnapped someone and threatened to kill him.

    I really don't feel bad about either, and that's probably whats bought me my one way ticket.
    Originally Posted by Riggins33
    Why don't you show me a pic of what you look like and I'll send you a pick of myself. I'm 6'5 230....
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Would you care to list the fixes I've proposed?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dogvolta View Post
    Thank god I did't suck that guy's dick.

  20. #80

    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by marooko View Post
    I also, technically, kidnapped someone and threatened to kill him.
    Devil's in the details.

  21. #81
    old school SepaGroove's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by Neighborhood Creep View Post
    I don't get why people take so much. There's almost never going to be a good outcome when taking 7.
    I know, seriously.

    Nobody ever needs 7.

  22. #82
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Nobody ever "needs" one. Holy smokes do things get crazy after about 5 of them.

    Me, my accomplice and the Devil are going to be holding on to these details a while.
    Last edited by marooko; 12-22-2012 at 09:19 AM.
    Originally Posted by Riggins33
    Why don't you show me a pic of what you look like and I'll send you a pick of myself. I'm 6'5 230....
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Would you care to list the fixes I've proposed?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dogvolta View Post
    Thank god I did't suck that guy's dick.

  23. #83

    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Glad my experience could help spice the thread up. No idea why I typed all that either. It really all was a fucked situation. We did shatter many car windows and caused a couple spin outs. Like I said, I couldn't have been older than 3rd grade, and a lot of those experiences really fucked with my young head. See the Dream thread, pretty sure those nightmares I had were related.


    Quote Originally Posted by Shaxspear View Post
    When I was in elementary (probably around 10 years old) I started a drug cartel. We took those little "Rocket" candies, crushed them up and put them into little baggies. At recess we would go around and sell them to other kids and get them to play the "drug cartel game" as well. After a few days there were quite a few kids who were buying these bags of candy off us until one kid went a little too far and actually tried snorting the powdered candy. He ended up getting a really bad nose bleed and ratted us out.

    When I was a teenager we went to this small city where my grandparents grew up. My cousin and I were staying in a hotel room and ended up getting drunk and stoned. We decided to do some prank phone calls. So we looked up the area code and common first 3 digits of the city we were staying in. After a few prank calls we called one number where what sounded like an old lady picked up the phone. I told the woman that I was outside of her window and that I was coming to get her..... then I hung up. The next morning my uncle knocks on the door and tells us that someone from this hotel called the house of my great grandmother and threatened her. Neither of us had any idea what her phone number was, and amazingly we made that 1 in 9999 fluke of calling her house. 15+ years later and we still deny that it was us.
    I know this is the Internet and all, but I've got no reason to not believe this phone call story. That is fucking awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mammoth85 View Post
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  24. #84
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I'm going to Hell for at least two reasons. Both have to do with rabbits.

    When I was in high school in Birmingham, MI, I used to mow yards to make money. One day, I was mowing and just as I ran over a hole in the yard, a baby rabbit popped out and fur and rabbit parts when flying! OMG. Later I saw momma rabbit, and her and I were so sad. That was over 40 years ago and I still can't get that out of my head.

    The other time I was driving near Lubbock TX on a 2 lane road, and I ran over a rabbit right as it darted across the road. The reason I remember it, it was on Easter. I killed the Easter bunny.

    One more - this one will only get me to purgatory - I was driving on a 2 lane road in rural NM, and I saw a dead cat in the middle of the road. No big deal about road kill, except right as I was going to run over it, it stood up and BAM! I killed it. Apparently it was only sleeping. I woke it up just in time to kill it.

  25. #85
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Survival of the fittest. Those animals were dumb.

  26. #86
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    You're also going to hell for being gay.
    Quote Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings View Post
    kvnty offered me 2 fists for one companion parking pass

  27. #87
    Dark Lord mountmccabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings View Post
    I'm going to Hell for at least two reasons. Both have to do with rabbits.
    I was really expect to read that you chased after the baby rabbit with your mower or that you swerved to hit the Easter bunny. I see responsibility but I don't see malice.
    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    See how wrong you are, Tommy? Randy is agreeing with you.

  28. #88
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I can't actually tell the truth in this thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  29. #89
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I figured this would be a free for all for you.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  30. #90
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    I can't actually tell the truth in this thread.
    You're hated by most anyways. You have nothing to lose
    Quote Originally Posted by gaypalmsprings View Post
    kvnty offered me 2 fists for one companion parking pass

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