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Thread: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

  1. #31

    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Early elementary years.
    I'd go to my grandparent's apartments that they lived at/managed after school got out. There was a hispanic kid, Ernie, a few years older than me that loved to hang out with me because he found out the TV in my grandparents "junk room" had the porno channel. My days with him consisted of watching porn (I was too young to even care about it), throwing rocks at cars driving the overpass by the apartments hoping to shatter windows/cause an accident, and spitting on the toddlers that ran around the complex. I distinctly remember 2 drug related instances:
    1. Ernie took me to a neighboring apartment building to sit in this room with this old hispanic dude. The house reeked (of pot, but I didn't know what the hell the smell was) and the old hispanic guy gave me a dirty eye and asked Ernie who I was. Ernie bought drugs that day.
    2. I knocked on Ernie's door to see if he wanted to go in the pool. His mom answered, I remember her face being very scrunched up with bloody looking eyes. She laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed at the fact that someone was at her door asking her son to go outside and play. Ernie finally came to the door and pushed her out of the way and said "lets go".

    One day while watching porn with Ernie and another kid from the complex, someone had the bright idea of copying whatever it was the actors on screen were doing. Ernie took me into the bathroom and pulled out his hard-on and told me to suck it. Once again, I was too young to realize what the fuck was going on, but I was old enough to realize that it was fucking gross regardless, so I said no. I walked out of the bathroom, Ernie got the other kid, Javier, to go in the bathroom. However long later Javier came out of the bathroom spitting and wiping his mouth and looking distressed.

    A month or so later Ernie and I were in the junk room watching TV when a very very drunk father of Javier came bursting into the room, with my grandparents trying to hold him back. He was crying and yelling, his wife was crying and trying to hold him back. Javier stood behind everyone crying and looking down. The dad grabbed Ernie and was screaming a bunch of shit at Ernie.

    That was the day I first heard the word "******"

    I guess Ernie is the one that might be going to hell. Once my parents found out about ALL this shit they never let me go back to my grandparents until they moved, which they did eventually.

    Thank god I did't suck that guy's dick.
    Last edited by Dogvolta; 12-21-2012 at 09:19 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mammoth85 View Post
    I hope Wario and Donkey Kong don't conflict.

  2. #32
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    I refused to let my daughter go to the bathroom during Radiohead at Coachella. Near the end we ran to the bathroom between the main stage and the outdoor though. I feel really bad about that one.
    Seriously?
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  3. #33
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Look, if you make people feel shittier about being shitty people, they're not going to post any more about why they're shitty people, and we'll be back where we started. Whoever you are, you're a selfish, spoiled asshole too.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  4. #34
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    Look, if you make people feel shittier about being shitty people, they're not going to post any more about why they're shitty people.
    Yes, she will. It's Amy.
    10/8 - Little Dragon @ Marquee (Tempe, AZ)
    10/11 - Carolina Chocolate Drops @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    11/10 - The Black Keys @ US Airways Center (Phoenix, AZ)
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  5. #35
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    This is a place to judge harshly, but silently.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  6. #36
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Judging is 100% of the fun.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  7. #37
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Thank you, Patrick.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  8. #38
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Pipe down, you monster.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  9. #39
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I've done worse to my kids sadly. That is over now.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  10. #40
    old school buddy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I'm responsible for John Mayer's career.

  11. #41
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by Dogvolta View Post
    Early elementary years.
    I'd go to my grandparent's apartments that they lived at/managed after school got out. There was a hispanic kid, Ernie, a few years older than me that loved to hang out with me because he found out the TV in my grandparents "junk room" had the porno channel. My days with him consisted of watching porn (I was too young to even care about it), throwing rocks at cars driving the overpass by the apartments hoping to shatter windows/cause an accident, and spitting on the toddlers that ran around the complex. I distinctly remember 2 drug related instances:
    1. Ernie took me to a neighboring apartment building to sit in this room with this old hispanic dude. The house reeked (of pot, but I didn't know what the hell the smell was) and the old hispanic guy gave me a dirty eye and asked Ernie who I was. Ernie bought drugs that day.
    2. I knocked on Ernie's door to see if he wanted to go in the pool. His mom answered, I remember her face being very scrunched up with bloody looking eyes. She laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed at the fact that someone was at her door asking her son to go outside and play. Ernie finally came to the door and pushed her out of the way and said "lets go".

    One day while watching porn with Ernie and another kid from the complex, someone had the bright idea of copying whatever it was the actors on screen were doing. Ernie took me into the bathroom and pulled out his hard-on and told me to suck it. Once again, I was too young to realize what the fuck was going on, but I was old enough to realize that it was fucking gross regardless, so I said no. I walked out of the bathroom, Ernie got the other kid, Javier, to go in the bathroom. However long later Javier came out of the bathroom spitting and wiping his mouth and looking distressed.

    A month or so later Ernie and I were in the junk room watching TV when a very very drunk father of Javier came bursting into the room, with my grandparents trying to hold him back. He was crying and yelling, his wife was crying and trying to hold him back. Javier stood behind everyone crying and looking down. The dad grabbed Ernie and was screaming a bunch of shit at Ernie.

    That was the day I first heard the word "******"

    I guess Ernie is the one that might be going to hell. Once my parents found out about ALL this shit they never let me go back to my grandparents until they moved, which they did eventually.

    Thank god I did't suck that guy's dick.
    You guys are too busy berating to read this or something?
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  12. #42
    old school ods..'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    That's intense as fuck

  13. #43
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    That's really fucked up.
    Quote Originally Posted by GuyInTucson View Post
    Seriously?
    What did you guys expect? Did you not see the thread title or read Patrick's description?
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  14. #44

    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    You guys are too busy berating to read this or something?
    Ha, thanks. I just figured it wasn't as interesting to read as I thought it would have been.
    Last edited by Dogvolta; 12-21-2012 at 10:21 AM. Reason: being nice
    Quote Originally Posted by Mammoth85 View Post
    I hope Wario and Donkey Kong don't conflict.

  15. #45
    Coachella Junkie
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Dogvolta totally sucked off that dude. Not buying it.

  16. #46
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Uh, this isn't the "Tell Us Why Ernie Is Going To Hell" thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  17. #47
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    What did you guys expect? Did you not see the thread title or read Patrick's description?
    Yeah but it's Amy. I couldn't just let that slide without giving a response.
    10/8 - Little Dragon @ Marquee (Tempe, AZ)
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    11/10 - The Black Keys @ US Airways Center (Phoenix, AZ)
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  18. #48
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Oh, I threw a book at my grandma once when I was little (8 or 9?) from behind a chair. She had a big bruise on her face for a while afterwards but never said anything to me about it.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  19. #49
    Coachella Junkie Miroir Noir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Wisdom at 3:09:

    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    To you guys I say Wat?????????? Off to ?????? ....... cr****
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    It's hard to argue with that.

  20. #50
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    You guys are too busy berating to read this or something?
    I didn't catch it. I started responded to Amy's post and when I hit enter, I missed Dogvolta's message because it was posted seconds before mine.

    I'm with Pot. DV blew the guy.
    10/8 - Little Dragon @ Marquee (Tempe, AZ)
    10/11 - Carolina Chocolate Drops @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    11/10 - The Black Keys @ US Airways Center (Phoenix, AZ)
    4/10/15 - 4/12/15 - Coachella

  21. #51
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Oh, I threw a book at my grandma once when I was little (8 or 9?) from behind a chair. She had a big bruise on her face for a while afterwards but never said anything to me about it.
    Did you laugh? Because I would have.
    10/8 - Little Dragon @ Marquee (Tempe, AZ)
    10/11 - Carolina Chocolate Drops @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    11/10 - The Black Keys @ US Airways Center (Phoenix, AZ)
    4/10/15 - 4/12/15 - Coachella

  22. #52
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I got caught doing something I shouldn't, and denied it to to death. My mom knew better, and pulled out a bible and told me to swear on it that I was telling the truth, and I did, even though I was lying. I think I can still feel my hand burning.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    hey. get your own colonoscopy thread, bitch.

  23. #53
    old school ods..'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    God.... what a banal, literal interpretation of the thread. Thank you thatgirl.

  24. #54

    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    At this point I'd have no problem admitting to sucking the guy. Didn't though. I couldn't have been older than 3rd grade, and him only a few years older than I. But hey, if the idea gets you off, believe what you may.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mammoth85 View Post
    I hope Wario and Donkey Kong don't conflict.

  25. #55
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I'm going to need MS Paint proof of the incident.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  26. #56
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I wonder how long Ernie has been in prison.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

  27. #57
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I wonder if Ernie was hot/had a nice wang.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  28. #58
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    I'm glad I'm not a guy.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  29. #59
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by ods.. View Post
    God.... what a banal, literal interpretation of the thread. Thank you thatgirl.
    It's her specialty
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

  30. #60
    Coachella Junkie malcolmjamalawesome's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tell Us Why You're Going To Hell

    "I created graven images."
    Quote Originally Posted by ruetheday View Post
    I don't fucking care. I don't even know who the hell Dave Wang is.
    Quote Originally Posted by Devin the Dude View Post
    you used to be that guy that just Dave Wang's everybody. that guy. he's gone now, and whoever you really are showed up, and that was utter disappointment.

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