The Christmas/Holiday Complaint Thread

[ThatGirl]

UTI has spread to my kidneys and the latest round of antibiotics are not helping at all. Looks like I'm spending Christmas day in the ER. Worst ever.

Court that's terrible. Get well soon and take care!

[marooko]

I'm reading this whiny thread.

[fatbastard]

7 Starbucks cards....

[kitt kat]

Why is it a “thing” to ditch your family to go spend the holidays with your significant other, even if you’ve only been with said significant other for like three months?

Because that’s what way too many people I know did — including my cousin — and I’m now starting to think I’m doing this whole “relationship thing” wrong. Even if you’ve been dating for several years, like…what’s the point?

My cousin, who is a college freshman, brought a new boyfriend to Thanksgiving and it was totally awkward. Yesterday, my cousin (who is around my age) didn’t come at all and was at his new girlfriend’s family’s house; they’ve only been dating three or four months?

Like, I love my boyfriend to bits and pieces — but I can be away from him for a few days to do my own holiday thing, and I wouldn’t want to intrude on his family celebration either. I dunno, maybe I’m weird.

I mean, shit. You (most likely) see your boyfriend/girlfriend every day. What’s the big deal in saying, “Yo, I wanna see my family and eat our family food. We can spend Christmas together if we decide to become [life partners/engaged/married/insert your preferred longterm relationship moniker here]?”

Am I just crazy? I feel like I’m crazy. Someone reassure me, here.

[getbetter]

I think its more your family might be boring ....but you are defintely weird.How was thankgiving weird??Did they bone during the event or smell funny?

[miscorrections]

Your attitude re: significant others and holidays isn't weird, but obsessing over it is.

[kitt kat]

]How was thankgiving weird??Did they bone during the event or smell funny?

I would think that most people would consider not introducing your significant other right away and then that significant other not participating in conversation (despite repeated attempts at trying to be nice and include them) is pretty weird. Also, I think he came without my cousin letting the host know he was attending, so there was a scramble to make space at the table, etc. (My aunt rented linens/china for Thanksgiving, so everyone thought it was kinda rude for him to come uninvited because no one was prepared for an extra person.)

And I'm not obsessing, I'm just trying to figure out the reasoning for all these people to be doing it. Don't you all want to be with your own families and not a bunch of strangers? I would never force myself on my boyfriend's family; that would be rude. (Also, my family would be sad if I didn't come home for the holidays, since I live far away.)

[IceyHotshot]

Who cares? Do what you want and let other people do what they want, it's not like it hurts you.

[amyzzz]

Your world is filled with tight social mores.

[marooko]

I would think that most people would consider not introducing your significant other right away and then that significant other not participating in conversation (despite repeated attempts at trying to be nice and include them) is pretty weird. Also, I think he came without my cousin letting the host know he was attending, so there was a scramble to make space at the table, etc. (My aunt rented linens/china for Thanksgiving, so everyone thought it was kinda rude for him to come uninvited because no one was prepared for an extra person.)

Please forgive us for not reading this in your initial post about the situation being weird. And just to play along, what if....your cousin invited him and failed to mention it? You know, instead of him inviting himself and not letting you all know.

What else should we do the way you do?

[getbetter]

its nice to change it up once in a while maybe is the reasoning for a lot people.

[IceyHotshot]

I was going to complain about entitled people complaining about gifts they received, but this cheered me up.

[amyzzz]

That Captain America figure is pretty sweet.

[algunz]

Your world is filled with tight social mores.

She comes from a world where they rent plates and tablecloths.

[amyzzz]

I know. She''s definitely out of my socioeconomic status.

[getbetter]

Maybe her male cousin was renting his "girlfriend" and that is why he was gone.

[IceyHotshot]

She comes from a world where they rent plates and tablecloths.

I bet they use more than one kind of fork too

[marooko]

I am grateful for whatever gifts I receive, no matter how big or small. The situation I laugh about most is receiving one of these... and being all excited that I might have a chance to organize my desk. After thanking the persons giving the gift, I was informed that the gift was a magazine subscription, and not the organizer. I received TWO GIFTS!! Fucking awesome!

[getbetter]

Now i wonder if the couple left early and the whole family talkd about it afterwards.

[IceyHotshot]

I am grateful for whatever gifts I receive, no matter how big or small. The situation I laugh about most is receiving one of these... and being all excited that I might have a chance to organize my desk. After thanking the persons giving the gift, I was informed that the gift was a magazine subscription, and not the organizer. I received TWO GIFTS!! Fucking awesome!

That IS awesome.

[mountmccabe]

And I'm not obsessing, I'm just trying to figure out the reasoning for all these people to be doing it. Don't you all want to be with your own families and not a bunch of strangers? I would never force myself on my boyfriend's family; that would be rude. (Also, my family would be sad if I didn't come home for the holidays, since I live far away.)

There's a big difference between forcing yourself on a family (not telling them you're coming is pretty awful) and being invited and welcomed and it being a big positive thing.

I spent last Christmas with the family of my then girlfriend in part because I had not yet met them and I had not been to Florida where she grew up. There are certainly easier times to meet the parents, etc., of course. I wanted to see my family but part of getting to know someone is getting to know them at stressful and weird times and holiday times certainly count.

I understand not being ready to try to integrate a significant other into your family celebrations after just a couple months but you also ask about even after "several years" and certainly by that point I would want to be incorporating my SO into my family celebrations and wanting to join in theirs, in part to learn what was important for my SO. Because if we got married I would expect to do some sort of split, alternating years (as my siblings tend to do) or split time (growing up over winter break we'd drive to my mother's parents and meet with that side of the family and then drive to my father's parents and meet with that side of the family) and/or start our own traditions likely combining the two (which is what my wife and I did this year as we did not have time off to fly visit anybody).

If my SO had no interest in spending time with my family over the holidays and no interest in me spending time with her family I would figure she didn't actually want or at least wasn't ready for me to be a real part of her life. Not all relationships have to be that serious, of course. And I am sure there are long-term serious couples that go their own ways at the holidays but I would not want to be a part of such a couple.

[marooko]

That IS awesome.

I sure as hell thought so. Then we all had a good laugh out of it.

[RotationSlimWang]

Why is it a “thing” to ditch your family to go spend the holidays with your significant other, even if you’ve only been with said significant other for like three months?

Because that’s what way too many people I know did — including my cousin — and I’m now starting to think I’m doing this whole “relationship thing” wrong. Even if you’ve been dating for several years, like…what’s the point?

My cousin, who is a college freshman, brought a new boyfriend to Thanksgiving and it was totally awkward. Yesterday, my cousin (who is around my age) didn’t come at all and was at his new girlfriend’s family’s house; they’ve only been dating three or four months?

Like, I love my boyfriend to bits and pieces — but I can be away from him for a few days to do my own holiday thing, and I wouldn’t want to intrude on his family celebration either. I dunno, maybe I’m weird.

I mean, shit. You (most likely) see your boyfriend/girlfriend every day. What’s the big deal in saying, “Yo, I wanna see my family and eat our family food. We can spend Christmas together if we decide to become [life partners/engaged/married/insert your preferred longterm relationship moniker here]?”

Am I just crazy? I feel like I’m crazy. Someone reassure me, here.

Hey, hey, asshole. I've got an idea. How about you try and conceive of a situation that isn't your own? Maybe your cousin's boyfriend doesn't have any family. HOLY SHIT, IMAGINING A CIRCUMSTANCE THAT ISN'T YOURS.

[bmack86]

Before they were engaged or even together a whole year, my brother's fiancee would come with us on family vacations and do a decent amount of the holidays with us. It helps that she's from the same small town for major holidays, so they can do one meal at one family's place and then the other with us. And since my dad's a better cook than anyone in her family (except my brother) we always get them for dinner.

[kitt kat]

She comes from a world where they rent plates and tablecloths.

Oh, fuck off. My aunt is an event coordinator, so she gets all that sort of stuff at a discount. Plus, for those who know the Bay Area, she lives in Los Altos — which might explain why she's a bit of a snob and rents dishes for the holidays in the first place. On Christmas, we ate on paper plates at my uncles house, and all the cousins ate in the garage. My mom's family is as working class as you can get.

I had no idea wondering why my 18 year-old cousin's unannounced boyfriend (who has a family that lives in the same area as my family, fuck off Randy) at Thanksgiving and my 25 year-old cousin spending time with his girlfriend (who none of us have even met) at Christmas would get everyone's panties in such a bunch. I was asking an honest question, because these were very out of the place of my family's usual holiday practices. I'm sorry for thinking it was a little strange to do, especially when everyone is so young/relationships were so new.

I know I'd get a lot of shit from my mother and father if I did it, so I was just wondering why it seemed to be a common thing.

[algunz]

You're totally contradicting yourself. One cousin you're angry at because she brought her boyfriend, and the other cousin you're pissed at because you haven't met his girlfriend. Life doesn't have to be that complicated.

[Neighborhood Creep]

She's the craziest woman on this board by a mile

[IceyHotshot]

But did you use plastic forks at Christmas?

[HowToDisappear]

I was going to complain about entitled people complaining about gifts they received, but this cheered me up.

How a parent chooses to punish/discipline their own child within the confines of their own home is their own business (excepting abuse, of course), but to pillory your child is just plain wrong.

[Miroir Noir]

Especially when you're already subjecting them to the terror of regular Church attendance.