Wedding Speaches

[Drewski27]

Will you don the average wedding garb, or will you come tailored as a minstrel?

[VigoTheCarpathian]

well I suggested the groomsmen all get top hats and canes but alas the bride and groom don't seem to have agreeable taste with myself.

[guedita]

Are they making the other groomsmen wear bags over their heads or just you

[VigoTheCarpathian]

yeah, that's whats happening, because im so fucking ugly I have to wear a goddamn bag on my head. You are like a fucking poker player, or rising fascist or propagandist or something insisting over and over "HEY EVERYONE LOOK THIS GUY IS FUCKING HIDEOUS LOOKING" until it becomes fact and dogma. well I cant wait till I put my speech video on here becasue im gana look like million bucks and you are just gana have like a dozen consecutive orgasms just looking at me perform my eloquent and hilarious speech that will make all the women swoon.

[Mugwog]

Someone please draw a picture of Cara masturbating to a youtube of Vigo performing a wedding speech

[guedita]

A rising poker player, huh?

[guedita]

Tell us more about fascism, Vigo.

[miscorrections]

Someone please construct a garrote to put Mugwog out of our misery.

[Mugwog]

You're kind of kinky. Nice.

[SepaGroove]

Yeah. Definitely film this speech.

[Drewski27]

Someone please draw a picture of Cara masturbating to a youtube of Vigo performing a wedding speech

I can do this when I'm not doing anything at work later tonight.

[BROKENDOLL]

Someone please draw a picture of Cara masturbating to a youtube of Vigo performing a wedding speech

I don't think that will be nearly as artistic as say, Cara nestled among the floral arrangements surrounding the altar. That way, she'd be close enough to correct his grammar and annunciation during the ceremony, and he'd be able to appreciate the nut she busts during their vows.

[guedita]

Annunciation. Heh.

[BROKENDOLL]

Due to my experience with special events and parties, I know that little touches like that make it more memorable for all involved.

[guedita]

Locking yourself in a trailer for 72 hours and scrubbing the toilet with a toothbrush isn't a "special event," Bev.

[BROKENDOLL]

Locking yourself in a trailer for 72 hours and scrubbing the toilet with a toothbrush isn't a "special event," Bev.

It is if I'm on the fucking toilet!

[guedita]

Okay. That actually made me laugh.

[BROKENDOLL]

Have I ever mentioned that my dentist and gynecologist are one in the same?

[Drewski27]

Vigo should mention that in his wedding speech.

[BROKENDOLL]

Have I ever mentioned that my dentist and gynecologist are one in the same?

All the motherfucker ever says is, "open, open, open."

[BROKENDOLL]

Vigo should mention that in his wedding speech.

Yeah, he could, but could he get the timing right enough to mention it just as she's saying, "I do?"

[SoulDischarge]

[BROKENDOLL]

I'm sure that by this point in the ceremony, with Cara feverishly rubbing one out behind the palms and Vigo at the podium wearing the clown suit he insisted on wearing to the wedding, there won't be enough words to bless this couple with for the future. Might I suggest making toast?

[guedita]

You're over thinking this.

[BROKENDOLL]

Patrick, fuck. If that's what sucking dick has done to your teeth, I'll stick with meth!....Daaamnnn...

[BROKENDOLL]

You're over thinking this.

Do you think maybe a dollop of jelly and butter on the toast, or would that be over the top?

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Wow, Bev, would you be my date for the wedding? everyone will shit themselves I promise

[VigoTheCarpathian]

and im not being faecesious

[SmellyBath]

I've never heard silence as clearly as what I imagined reading that initial posts speech.

King Arthur's jester wouldn't put those words together like that and expect people to laugh.

[Neighborhood Creep]

I hope you faint