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Thread: E-Mails from Mother

  1. #1
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default E-Mails from Mother

    Share the emails you get from #1

    I got this one today:


    Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?

    What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?

    What if we flipped through it several times a day?

    What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

    What if we used it to receive messages from the text?

    What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?

    What if we gave it to Kids as gifts?

    What if we used it when we traveled?

    What if we used it in case of emergency?

    This is something to make you go....hmm...where is my Bible?

    Oh, and one more thing.

    Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.

    Makes you stop and think 'where are my priorities? And no dropped calls!

    When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of you!

    If you are one of the 7% who will stand up for Him, forward this.

    93% of the people won't forward this.

  2. #2
    old school Drewski27's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    Stop it, Vigo.
    Quote Originally Posted by EmberVega View Post
    You guys are mean. Sexy people are not meant to be smart.

    August 1 - Echo and the Bunnymen - Orpheum
    August 4 - Arcade Fire - SB Bowl
    August 23/24 - FYF Fest - Expo park
    October 3/4 - Desert Stars - Pioneertown
    October 17 - Massive Attack - SB Bowl
    November 8 - Slowdive - Theater at Ace
    November 9 - Slowdive - Theater at Ace
    April 10/11/12 - Coachella wknd 1 - Indio

  3. #3
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    http://memeorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/TROLL-FACE-DANCE.gif[/img]

    ADMIN EDIT. DONT FUCKING POST ENDLESS PICS OR QUOTE THEM. unless you want to be banned
    Last edited by GuyInTucson; 11-20-2012 at 10:34 AM.
    7/21 - !!! @ Club Congress (Tucson, AZ)
    8/23 - Galactic @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    8/25 - Future Islands @ 191 Toole (Tucson, AZ)
    10/11 - Carolina Chocolate Drops @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    11/10 - The Black Keys @ US Airways Center (Phoenix, AZ)
    4/10/15 - 4/12/15 - Coachella

  4. #4
    Coachella Junkie heart cooks brain's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    that was absurd.

    my mother doesn't send me emails because drugs have not degraded our relationship to the point where we can't speak on the phone.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    If moles had subways, molestation wouldn't be one of the creepiest words there is ....
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Eat don't chat ...When I figure out what windlowless is, I'll respond .
    i hear voices in my head and they keep caaaaallin' me

  5. #5
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    Quote Originally Posted by GuyInTucson View Post

    ADMIN EDIT. DONT FUCKING POST ENDLESS PICS OR QUOTE THEM. unless you want to be banned
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  6. #6

    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    How do we know Vigo's on drugs and not just a troll

  7. #7
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  8. #8
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    Do you want our family to be estranged? Is that really what you want? Because if it is that makes me
    extremely sad!!. We are better than that. While we wait for a time that we can all get together as a
    family and talk, we need to be civil to each other. By the way I hope you don't feel you can say shut up to whomever you want to. There are way better and more respectful words that can be used. This whole thing is making me very sad. We certainly should be able to treat each other with respect and listen. I love all of you very much and I certainly can't leave on our trip to Italy thinking that we can't get along and that there seems to be an inability to work things out. I hope that our family can be stronger than that and that our love is stronger than our anger. Of course we need to talk, but yelling at each other doesn't do any good. We need to be respectful to each other. Sometimes you don't like what we say, but happy families work things out and right now I want more than anything to work things out. I hope that you will see it in your hearts to reach out to us, please!!

    Love, Mom

  9. #9
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    Dear Eric,

    I am a robot.

    Love,

    Mom

  10. #10
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    Do you want our family to be estranged? Is that really what you want? Because if it is that makes me
    extremely sad!!. We are better than that. While we wait for a time that we can all get together as a
    family and talk, we need to be civil to each other. By the way I hope you don't feel you can say shut up to whomever you want to. There are way better and more respectful words that can be used. This whole thing is making me very sad. We certainly should be able to treat each other with respect and listen. I love all of you very much and I certainly can't leave on our trip to Italy thinking that we can't get along and that there seems to be an inability to work things out. I hope that our family can be stronger than that and that our love is stronger than our anger. Of course we need to talk, but yelling at each other doesn't do any good. We need to be respectful to each other. Sometimes you don't like what we say, but happy families work things out and right now I want more than anything to work things out. I hope that you will see it in your hearts to reach out to us, please!!

    Love, Mom
    What a Mom. I hope you grow to a matriarch with equal strength and veracity as the Gunz Mum.

  11. #11
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    Quote Originally Posted by xuclarockerx View Post
    How do we know Vigo's on drugs and not just a troll
    That's like a drunk guy asking if the pizza is any good.

  12. #12
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    Vigo is a troll in the sense that his physical appearance is frightening and he should be isolated and made to live under a bridge.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  13. #13
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    I totally appreciate this thread. I think you all fear the truths that your Moms might reveal about you.

    And that whole wallpaper of crap is so annoying. You can express your frustration with posters without fucking up the whole computer system. We get it after like 5. STOP!
    Last edited by algunz; 11-22-2012 at 04:46 PM.

  14. #14

    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    trip trap, trip trap, trip trap

  15. #15
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    You're a complete sucker, Gunz.
    7/21 - !!! @ Club Congress (Tucson, AZ)
    8/23 - Galactic @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    8/25 - Future Islands @ 191 Toole (Tucson, AZ)
    10/11 - Carolina Chocolate Drops @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    11/10 - The Black Keys @ US Airways Center (Phoenix, AZ)
    4/10/15 - 4/12/15 - Coachella

  16. #16
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    I'll admit I don't really understand the Vigo persecution. I just see him as Bug with leather armor and incorrect sociopolitical ideals.

  17. #17

    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    I'm pretty sure Jesus/God drops all our calls, actually. Why?

    Because nobody is listening to your stupid fucking prayers and there is no god. End.
    LOL! <33
    Quote Originally Posted by Zafocaine View Post
    Great advertising strategy for her vagina though! As if having a vagina weren't all a vagina needed. Now introducing the Lustful Scorned Lover scent, by RSW.

  18. #18
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    I'll admit I don't really understand the Vigo persecution. I just see him as Bug with leather armor and incorrect sociopolitical ideals.
    Thanks, Mom.

  19. #19
    Coachella Junkie getbetter's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    I don't read my mother's emails but my birthday card was full of pot.My mom is pretty fucking cool at times.
    Last edited by getbetter; 11-20-2012 at 05:40 PM.
    Translation


    Rufus Wainwright @ Stern Grove 07/27/14
    Xiu Xiu @ BoTH 08/01/14
    FYF @ LA Sport Area 08/23 - 08/24/14
    Swans @ The Independent 08/08/14
    Decibel Festival @ Seattle 09/24 - 09/28/14
    War on Drugs @ Fillmore 10/05/14
    Death From Above 1979 @ The Independent 11/17/14


    Last.fm





  20. #20

    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    Vigo the Dude has mommy issues.

  21. #21

    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    Tubesock makes himself too obvious.
    LOL! <33
    Quote Originally Posted by Zafocaine View Post
    Great advertising strategy for her vagina though! As if having a vagina weren't all a vagina needed. Now introducing the Lustful Scorned Lover scent, by RSW.

  22. #22
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    Let's be real. We ALL have mommy issues.

  23. #23
    Coachella Junkie getbetter's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    MY MOM NEEDS A MAN
    Translation


    Rufus Wainwright @ Stern Grove 07/27/14
    Xiu Xiu @ BoTH 08/01/14
    FYF @ LA Sport Area 08/23 - 08/24/14
    Swans @ The Independent 08/08/14
    Decibel Festival @ Seattle 09/24 - 09/28/14
    War on Drugs @ Fillmore 10/05/14
    Death From Above 1979 @ The Independent 11/17/14


    Last.fm





  24. #24
    old school Drewski27's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Vigo is a troll in the sense that his physical appearance is frightening and he should be isolated and made to live under a bridge.
    pics or GTFO.
    Quote Originally Posted by EmberVega View Post
    You guys are mean. Sexy people are not meant to be smart.

    August 1 - Echo and the Bunnymen - Orpheum
    August 4 - Arcade Fire - SB Bowl
    August 23/24 - FYF Fest - Expo park
    October 3/4 - Desert Stars - Pioneertown
    October 17 - Massive Attack - SB Bowl
    November 8 - Slowdive - Theater at Ace
    November 9 - Slowdive - Theater at Ace
    April 10/11/12 - Coachella wknd 1 - Indio

  25. #25
    Member gazercmh's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    I've tried to tell her the rest of the world uses LOL for Laugh Out Loud but my mom keeps using LOL to mean Lots Of Love. "Sorry your dog died. LOL, mom."

  26. #26
    Member kronz420's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    Quote Originally Posted by gazercmh View Post
    I've tried to tell her the rest of the world uses LOL for Laugh Out Loud but my mom keeps using LOL to mean Lots Of Love. "Sorry your dog died. LOL, mom."
    My friends mom does this as well, such as ... Your grandma is in the hospital and is not doing well. Please pray for her lol
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    They check your age at a rave? That means its not a rave.

  27. #27
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother


  28. #28
    old school Drewski27's Avatar
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    My mom got mad while trying to be right wing with me over thanksgiving. I had a few laughs, but i guess she takes that all seriously.
    Quote Originally Posted by EmberVega View Post
    You guys are mean. Sexy people are not meant to be smart.

    August 1 - Echo and the Bunnymen - Orpheum
    August 4 - Arcade Fire - SB Bowl
    August 23/24 - FYF Fest - Expo park
    October 3/4 - Desert Stars - Pioneertown
    October 17 - Massive Attack - SB Bowl
    November 8 - Slowdive - Theater at Ace
    November 9 - Slowdive - Theater at Ace
    April 10/11/12 - Coachella wknd 1 - Indio

  29. #29
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    that'ts funny Drew: this morning I got an e-mail from mama about what a great man Charles Krauthammer is.

  30. #30

    Default Re: E-Mails from Mother

    I received this from my father, but while we're on the subject:

    Thanksgiving 2022



    "Winston, come into the dining room, it's time to eat," Julia yelled to her husband. "In a minute, honey, it's a tie score," he answered. Actually Winston wasn't very interested in the traditional holiday football game between Detroit and Washington.



    Ever since the government passed the Civility in Sports Statute of 2017, outlawing tackle football for its "unseemly violence" and the "bad" example it sets for the rest of the world", Winston was far less of a football fan than he used to be. Two-hand touch wasn't nearly as exciting. Yet it wasn't the game that Winston was uninterested in. It was more the thought of eating another Tofu Turkey. Even though it was the best type of VeggieMeat available after the government revised the American Anti-Obesity Act of 2018, adding fowl to the list of federally-forbidden foods, (which already included potatoes, cranberry sauce, and mincemeat pie), it wasn't anything like real turkey.

    And ever since the government officially changed the name of "Thanksgiving Day" to "A National Day of Atonement" in 2020, to officially acknowledge the Pilgrims' historically brutal treatment of Native Americans, the holiday had lost a lot of its luster.

    Eating in the dining room was also a bit daunting. The unearthly gleam of government-mandated fluorescent light bulbs made the Tofu Turkey look even weirder than it actually was, and the room was always cold. Ever since Congress passed the Power Conservation Act of 2016, mandating all thermostats - which were monitored and controlled by the electric company - be kept at 68 degrees, every room on the north side of the house was barely tolerable throughout the entire winter.

    Still, it was good getting together with family. Or at least most of the family.

    Winston missed his mother, who passed on in October, when she had used up her legal allotment of life-saving medical treatment. He had had many heated conversations with the Regional Health Consortium, spawned when the private insurance market finally went bankrupt, and everyone was forced into the government health care program. And though he demanded she be kept on her treatment, it was a futile effort. "The RHC's resources are limited," explained the government bureaucrat Winston spoke with on the phone. "Your mother received all the benefits to which she was entitled.

    I'm sorry for your loss."

    Ed couldn't make it either. He had forgotten to plug in his electric car last night, the only kind available after the Anti-Fossil Fuel Bill of 2021 outlawed the use of the combustion engines - for everyone but government officials.

    The fifty mile round trip was about ten miles too far, and Ed didn't want to spend a frosty night on the road somewhere between here and there.

    Thankfully, Winston's brother, John, and his wife were flying in.

    Winston made sure that the dining room chairs had extra cushions for the occasion. No one complained more than John about the pain of sitting down so soon after the government-mandated cavity searches at airports, which severely aggravated his hemorrhoids. Ever since a terrorist successfully smuggled a cavity bomb onto a jetliner, the TSA told Americans the added "inconvenience" was an "absolute necessity" in order to stay "one step ahead of the terrorists."

    Winston's own body had grown accustomed to such probing ever since the government expanded their scope to just about anywhere a crowd gathered, via Anti-Profiling Act of 2022. That law made it a crime to single out any group or individual for "unequal scrutiny," even when probable cause was involved. Thus, cavity searches at malls, train stations, bus depots, etc., etc., had become almost routine. Almost.

    The Supreme Court is reviewing the statute, but most Americans expect a Court composed of six progressives and three conservatives to leave the law intact. "A living Constitution is extremely flexible", said the Court's eldest member, Elena Kagan. " Europe has had laws like this one for years.

    We should learn from their example," she added.

    Winston's thoughts turned to his own children. He got along fairly well with his 12-year-old daughter, Brittany, mostly because she ignored him. Winston had long ago surrendered to the idea that she could text anyone at any time, even during Atonement Dinner. Their only real confrontation had occurred when he limited her to 50,000 texts a month, explaining that was all he could afford. She whined for a week, but got over it.

    His 16-year-old son, Jason, was another matter altogether. Perhaps it was the constant bombarding he got in public school that global warming, the bird flu, terrorism, or any of a number of other calamities were "just around the corner", but Jason had developed a kind of nihilistic attitude that ranged between simmering surliness and outright hostility. It didn't help that Jason had reported his father to the police for smoking a cigarette in the house, an act made criminal by the Smoking Control Statute of 2018, which outlawed smoking anywhere within 500 feet of another human being. Winston paid the $5,000 fine, which might have been considered excessive before the American dollar became virtually worthless as a result of QE13.

    The latest round of quantitative easing the federal government initiated was, once again, to "spur economic growth." This time, they promised to push unemployment below its years-long rate of 18%, but Winston was not particularly hopeful.

    Yet the family had a lot for which to be thankful, Winston thought, before remembering it was a Day of Atonement.

    At least, he had his memories. He felt a twinge of sadness when he realized his children would never know what life was like in the Good Old Days, long before government promises to make life "fair for everyone" realized their full potential.



    Winston, like so many of his fellow Americans, never realized how much things could change when they didn't happen all at once, but little by little, so people could get used to them.



    He wondered what might have happened if the public had stood up while there was still time, maybe back around 2012, when all the real nonsense began. "Maybe we wouldn't be where we are today if we'd just said 'enough is enough' when we had the chance," he thought.



    Maybe so, Winston. Maybe so.



    Mark Twain once said: "Its easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled."

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