View Poll Results: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

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  • big bird yo. he's got mad hops. especially when pissed.

    17 34.00%
  • are you fucking kidding me? big cooks in a heartbeat.

    33 66.00%
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Thread: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

  1. #1
    old school mob roulette's Avatar
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    Default Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    choose wisely. show your work. prepare to defend. etc.

    ok go.

  2. #2
    old school
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    cookie monster doesn't actually eat cookies. its something that always bothered me. he just crumpled the cookies and would throw it at himself.
    what's his problem?

    big bird is kind of a pussy too. just sayin'
    I am going to get so blown to Cypress Hill while they play.

  3. #3
    old school mob roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    in a fight though. in a FIGHT. i should have clarified that a bit.

  4. #4
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    Cookie Monster gets seriously lustful about his cookie eating (or crunching and spitting out). If he would get a cookie prize by beatin Big Bird's ass, I think he could definitely take the Bird on.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  5. #5
    Member soupbandit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    i've never seen cookie monster's legs. So big b is dominating the duel in my head imagery.

  6. #6
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    No option for my ***** Snuffles?
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    Fans of TheLastGreatMan Accessory Shop

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    This is really a really tough decision. Big Bird is of course Big & has more range. Cookie Monster is undoubtedly a psychopath so I don't know. I'm pretty sure Bird is a pacifist though so Cookie probly would tear Bird a new asshole. Especially if he imagined Bird as a giant chocolate chip cookie.

  8. #8
    Member PsyGuyRy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    Big Bird is totally top-heavy. All Cookie Monster has to do is take-out the Bird's big-ass legs, let that MF fall, and then give him beat him down he'll never forget!
    Buy the ticket, take the ride.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    Grover would smoke all them muppet ass niggas like a blunt. Fo' shizzle.
    I am going to get so blown to Cypress Hill while they play.

  10. #10
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by SepaGroove View Post
    You shouldn't feel uncool for not going to EDC, you should feel uncool because you are uncool.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    What about Oscar? He'd beat the shit outta all of em with his trash can man!

  12. #12
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    All I know is that now I kinda want to get "Snuffleupagus" tattooed on my dick.

    ::awaits jokes about how few of those letters would fit::
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
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  13. #13
    Member kimery08's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    oscar is all talk. he never gets out of that damn can. cookie monster all the way. as stated above, he's a psychopath.

  14. #14
    old school invisiblerobots's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    bert's got connections

  15. #15
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    this is a no brainer. Big Bird doesn't have a competitive chicken bone in his body. and like someone said, he's a big puss.
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    Quote Originally Posted by kimery08 View Post
    oscar is all talk. he never gets out of that damn can. cookie monster all the way. as stated above, he's a psychopath.
    You don't know what he's got in that trash can. He could be holdin out for some devious shit.

  17. #17
    Old Gay Guy gaypalmsprings's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    Elmo needs some consideration...

    Quote Originally Posted by SepaGroove View Post
    You shouldn't feel uncool for not going to EDC, you should feel uncool because you are uncool.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    That'll be a hot seller this Christmas for sure, the Slice & Dice Elmo for all your murderous needs. Move over Chucky!

  19. #19
    old school caco0283's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    big bird isn't a puss, he's just gay. Do we actually know if big bird is a male??
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    I'm pretty sure Ronnie painted that on her, with his dick.

  20. #20
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    Cookie Monster. In a hot second. Those plastic eyes of his gleam with murderous rage.

  21. #21
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    Cookie is a lovely, polite little puppet one second, and a growling, manic devouring machine the next. Big bird lacks that kind of passion. He's nothing special. And Cookie is fucking devoted to those cookies. What does big bird care about? He's got no motivation. He's not thinking "as soon as I knock that bitch down I can go have a cookie" now, is he?

  22. #22
    old school mob roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    coachella forum, i love you so much. you never fail to disappoint.

    yes cookie monster. of course. i am fairly convinced that he could take pretty much ALL the muppets without batting his nonexistent eyelashes. perhaps miss piggy being the only exception to this rule. the reason i put big bird as his sparring partner is that i think big bird might be just a tad unstable. and not just a tad actually, but like, WAY unstable, like on the inside. i think he has a lot of unchecked rage and also perhaps daddy issues. let's not forget also that he hallucinates a giant imaginary playmate, like pretty much on a daily basis. we're talking borderline personality here people. a regular ticking time bomb. and so i would love to see what he'd do in a fight if someone pushed him to his breaking point...

  23. #23
    Member All That I Am's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    I'm pickin' cookie!

    In my head i imagine big bird running away from a screaming cookie monster.
    Cookie Monster would bite deep into the achelles heel of big bird and immobilize him.
    I miss Bill Hicks.

  24. #24
    Member blakely's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    As we all know cookie monster is a massive junkie. Sooooooo....... What if we were to deprive C-Monster of his precious cookies for, i dont know, say, 3 days. We could then inform him that his precious cookies are tucked away inside the belly of the titanic canary. The ring would be nothing but bloody feathers in seconds.
    the lurker shows his member to the kids at the old school.

  25. #25
    Member blakely's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    proof of the extent of his addiction.....






    He also moonlights as a pimp in Lake Elsinore...
    the lurker shows his member to the kids at the old school.

  26. #26
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    I suppose it's also worth mentioning that because Big Bird has nothing to care about, he also has nothing to lose. However, I see this more as an overall indifference towards things and people, and not necessarily an indifference towards being alive. I bet he'd get outta dodge the second he heard a growl. Maybe Fiji or someplace like that. Although maybe he wouldn't have to go that far. While Cookie is quick to anger, he's also probably quick to cool down. If Big Bird wasn't there for the initial fire up, he might make it out ok.


    For some reason I am imagining Big Bird in a hotel room, a la the end of "The Good Girl". Maybe in a hawaiian shirt.

  27. #27
    old school mob roulette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    also, grover in a self-inflicted gunshot wound for the win. x gets the square.

  28. #28
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    Yeah, those quiet nice people are the ones that snap & end up walkin into thier jobs & shooting everbody. Bird is capable!

  29. #29
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    For Grover I could see hanging from the rafters by the "supergrover" cape.


    Grover is sort of the Moe Syzlak of Sesame Street.

  30. #30
    Coachella Junkie Boourns's Avatar
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    Default Re: Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster

    As a child, my favorites were Cookie Monster and Oscar the Grouch, by far. I remember one Christmas I got this Sesame Street playset, and it was pretty awesome to me, and it and had little versions of the characters. And I had this really weird toy, I'm not sure what to call it, but it would play records and some kind of film so I got to see stuff too, no idea what it was called.

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