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Thread: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

  1. #181
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    This just made me tear up and I had to take a bunch of deep breaths to stop myself from actually crying.



    (Telephone commercials make me cry too, sometimes.)

  2. #182
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    I got teary eyed as well. I can only imagine how relieved and happy the son must of been.

  3. #183
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Ron posted this earlier. I so want to give this Dad a hug. He is what all parents should be in this scenario.

  4. #184
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    I mostly kept my cool reading that note but the perfectly-timed combination of Morton Feldman and Shoes on the Danube Promenade brought me to full-on bitch tears yesterday.

  5. #185
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    I have a very close male friend who believes his son may be gay. From the time he was 7 or 8 he's exhibited several signs, but in asking him he's denied it. He's 11 now, not sure how it will turn out in the end but he has so much support and love and good friends, I just hope if he is he's not afraid to come out.
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  6. #186
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    It's a wonderful, wonderful note. But does anyone else find the "we knew you were gay at six" comment just a little weird?
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  7. #187
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Thatgirl, Let's hope they don't give him some weird pressure to be gay when he's not. Sometimes people are just different.
    Last edited by algunz; 03-15-2013 at 07:38 PM.

  8. #188
    Rover canexplain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I have a very close male friend who believes his son may be gay. From the time he was 7 or 8 he's exhibited several signs, but in asking him he's denied it. He's 11 now, not sure how it will turn out in the end but he has so much support and love and good friends, I just hope if he is he's not afraid to come out.
    Vets from the board know my West Point story: She's a grad, decorated 2x's Iraq, Airborne, Russian specialist, she is not STRAIGHT, oh no, now I feel less safe. Grrrr people sometimes. cr****
    Have Another Hit Of Colorado Sunshine

  9. #189
    old school Somewhat Damaged's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    It's a wonderful, wonderful note. But does anyone else find the "we knew you were gay at six" comment just a little weird?
    Not necessarily. Jen knew that one of her friend's sons was gay when he was 4 when he talked about how he wanted to be a girl all the time, said that he used to be a girl, wanted to be a girl witch for Halloween, and dressed like a girl. Sometimes you just fucking know.
    Quote Originally Posted by stinkbutt View Post
    It's like finding out an old high school buddy is on meth, and you're not sure if any of the rumors of him giving handies behind Burger King are true but they very likely could be.

  10. #190
    old school ods..'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    It's a wonderful, wonderful note. But does anyone else find the "we knew you were gay at six" comment just a little weird?
    Not at all.

  11. #191
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Quote Originally Posted by Somewhat Damaged View Post
    Not necessarily. Jen knew that one of her friend's sons was gay when he was 4 when he talked about how he wanted to be a girl all the time, said that he used to be a girl, wanted to be a girl witch for Halloween, and dressed like a girl. Sometimes you just fucking know.
    So he's gay...or he wants to become a girl?
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  12. #192

    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    So he's gay...or he wants to become a girl?
    There's a difference?
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  13. #193
    Can't Post anymore. bummer Zafocaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Because, you know, having a three year old boy who plays with dolls in 2013 means you have a gay son. Lyk, I'm SO SURE! Because being a male child with female role models in 2013 means you're homosexual. It's a witch hunt. I don't agree with homosexuality, but I do think that every individual has a right to be what they want to be. I would feel ashamed to hold someone back from being who they feel they are. On the same note, I would feel ashamed of myself for forcing an identity on someone, especially children. It's obvious that the man is proud of his son, which is a beautiful thing. I think what somewhat damaged is suggesting is that perhaps the parents, the father particularly, had an overbearing influence on the child's growth and identity. Homosexuality isn't contagious. It's no hereditary. That a father and son, mother and daughter, or any other combination of parent/ child should BOTH be homosexuals, indicates a possible radical. This potential heartwarming story of gay family bonding is at least as likely a story of a dysfunctional family.

    Oh shit....

    He said it.

    It's 2013, Zafocaine. Don't you know it's politically incorrect, and very insensitive, to suggest that an alternative lifestyle parent is a dysfunctional parent? Haven't you watched Portlandia?

    Simmer down, folks. I knew my child was going to be a firefighter, an astronaut, wear dresses, have twenty children, and learn French by the time he was two hundred weeks old. Yeah, we're one of those parenting combos who quantifies our child's time on this earth in irrelevant amounts to keep that new baby smell around.

    Seriously though. I'm hoping this entire conversation is in this thread because "No one gives a fuck." Just be who you are. Don't shout it out to the world. Make sure your friends know. We'll all congratulate you, and throw high fives, 'n whatnot. Other than that, NO ONE FUCKING CARES. Keep your sexuality private. Keep your revenge plans private. Keep your ugly fucking baby pictures off facebook. And no one wants to see you holding your cousin's baby, single ladies. It makes our cocks go soft when we're stalk-jerking your photos. End.

  14. #194
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Oh, Christ... they've driven you to talking to yourself too? This place will make you fucking nuts, man...





    And yes, that is my banal confession for the day...
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  15. #195
    Can't Post anymore. bummer Zafocaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    Oh, Christ... they've driven you to talking to yourself too? This place will make you fucking nuts, man...





    And yes, that is my banal confession for the day...
    Don't blame the board. Plenty of us are just like this. Sometimes you have to paint a picture for all the pretty people. Otherwise they'll be left to their own devices, and Lord knows they'll either draw a jesus fish, a cock and balls, Nazi insignia, or a cock and balls with hair and semen shooting out comically. There's a fifty percent chance you're getting a variation of cock and balls, or boobs that look like the illustrator has never seen a pair.

    But wait...

  16. #196
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    Thatgirl, Let's hope they don't give him some weird pressure to be gay when he's not. Sometimes people are just different.
    He was getting harassed on Facebook and some kids at school were bullying him and calling him gay, so they had the conversation but said to him it didn't matter to them either way - they just want him to be himself and be happy.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
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  17. #197
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    So he's gay...or he wants to become a girl?
    He told us he used to be a girl in another life. But the girl stuff was just part of the whole story.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
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  18. #198
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Actually it's funny this comes up because the other day I was hanging out with my best friend who's a homo I moved out here from Jersey, typically when we get together (used to be roommates) we smoke a lot of weed, eat some pills, and I inevitably try to find creative questions to ask him about being gay. Because he's not like your average gay, he's a Jersey Ital gay, which means he's had a lot of inner conflict and he really has the ability to turn it on and off when it comes to whether he wants to seem like an intimidating straight guy, or when he lets it slip and is sometimes just like, "Oh my god those pillows match! Awesome!" Etc.

    Anyway, so the other day I was over there, high as shit, and I start prodding him about the whole "you're born gay" question. Not because I don't believe that you are--I do--but just because it seemed curious to me that by that logic it would mean that not only was he a gay teenager even though he wasn't with a guy until he was like 20, he would've been a gay five year old. Which seemed weird to me, I mean I don't really think of myself as being a particularly straight 5 year old. I have a vague recollection of liking boobs but I think that was probably more just imitating other males in my family. I guess I had some girlfriends in kindergarten but that could be anything, it's not really a definition of sexuality.

    So I ask him whether he thinks he was a gay five year old. He thinks for a second and says Yes, he wasn't having sexual thoughts but you could definitely see the signs. I pressed him further and he turned around and dug out a photo album from his childhood. One flip of the page and there I was face-to-face with a 5 year old Jason in those tiny shorts people wore back then and like just by the way he was sitting on the floor in the picture--head cocked to one side, kinda sticking his ass out a little--I decided he was right. Even just in photograph, that was one fucking gay five year old.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  19. #199
    old school kvnty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Quote Originally Posted by fakekvnty View Post
    All you ladybois want inside this pink slip
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    You bitchez will all CUM-ba-ya when y'all see my pee-shooter.
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  20. #200
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    fckh8

  21. #201
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    people posting pictures of my thighs makes me want to be a parapalegic.
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  22. #202
    Can't Post anymore. bummer Zafocaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Don't let unrealistic expectations stop you =)

  23. #203
    Member Santa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Had some gravy and fries Friday night, my farts are still killing me with a heavy pungent rotten beef smell.

  24. #204
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Quote Originally Posted by Santa View Post
    Had some gravy and fries Friday night, my farts are still killing me with a heavy pungent rotten beef smell.
    This is Monday... You might want to re-post this in the thread about green stuff and genitals if the pungency continues... Actually, with the board in it's present disarray of attitudes, nobody will even notice any pungent rotten smell.
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  25. #205
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    My children informed me last night that they think at least half my friends are swingers.

  26. #206
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    ill confess I havent looked up banal means
    This made me laugh.

    Instead of ordering dolmas like I usually do at the shitty falafel place across the street, I decided to branch out and ordered the veggie wrap, which has dolmas in it. Then I just tore apart the wrap and ate the two dolmas, discarding everything else. Well, okay, I also ate the pita it was wrapped in.

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  27. #207
    old school Drewski27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Instead of ordering dolmas like I usually do at the shitty falafel place across the street, I decided to branch out and ordered the veggie wrap, which has dolmas in it. Then I just tore apart the wrap and ate the two dolmas, discarding everything else. Well, okay, I also ate the pita it was wrapped in.
    At least you made an attempt.

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  28. #208
    Member birdiearch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    Dolmas/dolmades are so bomb.

  29. #209
    Member Sheldorrr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    I've had food poisoning for the past 48 hours and have eaten nothing but oatmeal, strawberries, and watermelon. I've also gone to work the past two days and spent 85% of my time hogging one of two men's bathrooms. They both only have one toilet and we have 30 or so guys.
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  30. #210
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

    I enjoy butter in my oatmeal
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

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