Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

[frizzlefry]

I'm broke until my next pay check so I've been hoarding food at my job to take it home like a pastry hobo.

[xuclarockerx]

I have more than one Ill Nino song in my collection.

[fatbastard]

I cannot watch frosty the snowman because it makes me cry at the end.

[Courtney]

When I am feeling particularly anxious, one thing that calms me down without fail is going on the internet and looking at medical journal documentation of skin irregularities and disease.

[miscorrections]

I apparently can't karaoke without attracting gays of both sexes or poly couples. For some reason my enthusiasm drives them to try to put their mouths on my mouth.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

You're too sexy, girlfriend.

[miscorrections]

I highly doubt that is the reason.

[Tubesock Shakur]

I apparently can't karaoke without attracting gays of both sexes or poly couples. For some reason my enthusiasm drives them to try to put their mouths on my mouth.

[guedita]

Some jerk sitting next to me on a plane tonight woke me up to tell me I had started drooling on myself.

[Gribbz]

Some jerk sitting next to me on a plane tonight woke me up to tell me I had started drooling on myself.

Ahahahaha.

[Gribbz]

Where were you flying?

[canexplain]

I drink too much and love women too much..... cr****

[VigoTheCarpathian]

ayeeeee

[Originalbob]

I admitted to "hat guy" at work that I would've liked this when I was in high school for it's sheer bizarre and happy hardcore qualities. I'm sort of ashamed, but equally don't give a fuck. I never had Napster at my house because my parents were afraid of infecting their Packard Bell.


EDIT: It was a random sharing moment from someone I never talk to. Also, the guy reminds me of Patchy the Pirate on Spongebob Squarepants.

[SoulDischarge]

I apparently can't karaoke without attracting gays of both sexes or poly couples. For some reason my enthusiasm drives them to try to put their mouths on my mouth.

From what I hear, this is more of a Seattle thing than a personal thing?

Some jerk sitting next to me on a plane tonight woke me up to tell me I had started drooling on myself.

Some horrible cunt woke me up on the Megabus to DEMF one year to inform me I was snoring too loud. I'm sorry you didn't have the foresight to bring earplugs/headphones on an extended public transportation trip.

[guedita]

Where were you flying?

Just a quick flight home from southern california. Pretty sure I mumbled incoherently and coughed on him when he told me.

[Mugwog]

I forced a fart this weekend, it was hot and stinky, then I forced another one. It was wet and fortunately for me, I was already done with errands and driving home. Fucking sharted my courderoys.

[TomAz]

Everytime I hear the name Josh Ritter I think they mean John Ritter.

[xanman86]

[Neighborhood Creep]

Just a quick flight home from southern california. Pretty sure I mumbled incoherently and coughed on him when he told me.

I had to deal with this fella from Minneapolis to Oakland. The coughing thing would have probably got me slapped

[Hannahrain]

Overdrew my checking account buying mammoth ivory.

[Originalbob]

Noir received the new Big Boi album on Tuesday. I opened it and brought it to my car to play on the drive to get some well past 3:00am groceries. While attempting to pull it from the hard plastic case, I broke the never played CD in half. I've never done that before and I felt awful. I wrote him an email saying I was sorry. I replaced it with the deluxe edition ("3 extra songs!") by 7:30pm Wednesday.

[fatbastard]

I forgot to set my alarm last night.

[Neighborhood Creep]

I have forklift training in 17 minutes and am calling in saying I slipped into a ditch

[captncrzy]

I'm 'working from home' today soley so I can make a Guinness stew (which apparently takes 3 hours to cook).

[canexplain]

I haven't slept in 3 days. Maybe today ...I saw a bball game score on the news today 107 to 2 yikes....cr****

[GuyInTucson]

I just sneezed all over my computer screen and it's now covered in snot.

[joppy-slow]

I'm going to try hooking up with my friend Rebecca's mom, if I hang out with her again.

[fatbastard]

I just sneezed all over my computer screen and it's now covered in snot.

I have dried up snot on my laptop screen that is at least 4 months old. There is one particular dot located such a way that it always appears as a comma when I am reading.

[fatbastard]

I walked into Trader Joe’s right now and Oingo Boingo’s Only a Lad was playing. I looked around for someone else to give me the eye to start crashing shoulders with, but no one even noticed the song was on.