Things You Think Are Confessions But Are Actually Banal And No One Gives A Fuck

[amyzzz]

Is that unusual?

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Is that unusual?

It's certainly banal, which goes with the thread title.

[algunz]

And I don't give a fuck.

[amyzzz]

Well I was just wondering why he specified the Bisquick.

[algunz]

It adds an extra level of banality, I guess.

[TomAz]

4 pages and still no banal sex comments. Remarkable restraint.

[SoulDischarge]

You should start taking drugs again to help with that superiority complex, Tommy.

I've taken plenty of drugs and I've got a massive superiority complex.

[algunz]

Take more drugs. Isn't that always the answer?

[Mugwog]

Ive been enjoying the loud gas I've been having lately. Crop dusted my little sister last night.

[Mugwog]

Take more drugs. Isn't that always the answer?

No, taking BETTER drugs is always the answer.

Also on the orgasm note: it's very possible for multiple orgasms to occur within under a minute.

[Sleepingrock]

Is that unusual?

I consider myself to be too much of a snob in that regards to use bisquick, the confession is I stooped so low to use that product.

[kroqken]

I consider myself to be too much of a snob in that regards to use bisquick, the confession is I stooped so low to use that product.

Hostess Brands > Bisquick

[Sleepingrock]

Its too early to get sentimental Ken.

[SlowMotionApocalypse]

I like cats.

[algunz]

Also on the orgasm note: it's very possible for multiple orgasms to occur within under a minute.

Now, here was my initial confusion. Is this multiple or an elongated, controlled orgasm?

[sonnyboy11]

4 pages and still no banal sex comments. Remarkable restraint.

Truth- I wrote up a dick down encounter nobody could possibly care about but then cancelled before submitting. I got bored editing it.

[CrimesceneCookie]

One of my only heterosexual encounters was a not entirely painless blowjob from a girl with braces. After that I was done with the opposite sex for good.

Oh, before that I dated a girl with the biggest boobs in my entire high school, and I was the only one who never noticed them.

[Devin the Dude]

I'm not actually gay, or a midget.

[bug on your lip]

i'm not actually a doctor....

[guedita]

I just bought beer with a bunch of 2 dollar bills that I found stashed away in my childhood room. Not even good beer.

[Devin the Dude]

^ proud

I listen to girly music because it gets me the sex.

[Tubesock Shakur]

I'm not actually gay, or a midget.

I listen to girly music because it gets me the sex.

Freudiansk....

[Devin the Dude]

I'm pretty sure each statement justifies the other.

[TomAz]

I watched the movie Tommy last night for the first time in approximately 35 years. I enjoyed it.

edit actually, to make this alleged confession even more banal, I will add a story about my musical development as a 13-year-old suburban white kid (in Ohio, at the time). I got the Tommy soundtrack because I was a serious Elton John fan at that age and you know Pinball Wizard and all that. I didn't know hardly anything about The Who -- I think I kept getting them confused with The Guess Who, actually -- and so this soundtrack was my first real introduction. I had the soundtrack memorized front and back well before I ever heard the actual original Who album. When I finally did, I thought it sounded really strange, underproduced, quiet even, and really to this day it doesn't sound right to me. It wasn't until I saw the Woodstock movie that I realized that the real genius in that stuff did lie with the band after all.

[Cheddar's Cousin]

When I'm jerking off in the shower, every time I jam my finger up my ass, I lose my boner and can't finish.

[RotationSlimWang]

When I'm jerking off in the shower, every time I jam my finger up my ass, I lose my boner and can't finish.

... why would you keep doing it, then?

[Cheddar's Cousin]

To prove to myself that I'm not a homophobe.

[fatbastard]

A priest called me arrogant yesterday. The priest was a dick.

[getbetter]

Im just sitting in the bathroom stall waiting for it to be Two so I can get the fuck out of here and enjoy amazing three day weekend.

[getbetter]

Im excited eat this sandwich I just brought.