2013 Fake Poster Thread

[travelfan]

It has begun. Really? Whatever, let us begin another year of discussing poor billing decisions, practicing our shocked faces for when Daft Punk is on the real lineup, and pointing out how they spelled Armin van Buuren's name wrong.

[Larry Farnsworth]

Deadmau5, Skrillex, Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, Sasha & Digweed, Steve Aoki, Rusko . . . it's like a goddamn nightmare come to life.

For whoever created this . . . there aren't enough doorknobs in the world to give you the sack beating you deserve.

[travelfan]

Deadmau5, Skrillex, Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, Sasha & Digweed, Steve Aoki, Rusko . . . it's like a goddamn nightmare come to life.

For whoever created this . . . there aren't enough doorknobs in the world to give you the sack beating you deserve.

You might want to remove this one before all the purists freak out.

On another note, whoever made this one clearly scanned the board because it's pretty much whatever acts were on the first page of the Rumors forum this past week.

Also, this is from the Monklish blog comments. Fight me.

[Whittick]

Argh. To much pop.

[nathanfairchild]

if the real one even resembled that a little bit i'd sell my tickets in an instant.

[casey]

I love fake poster time. Everyone gets so up in arms.

[Boourns]

Deadmau5, Skrillex, Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, Sasha & Digweed, Steve Aoki, Rusko . . . it's like a goddamn nightmare come to life.

For whoever created this . . . there aren't enough doorknobs in the world to give you the sack beating you deserve.

I guess it is possible for the Sahara lineup to be as embarrassing as this year's was. Yikes.

So much rubbish, but there's enough worth seeing to make me consider it. If Lush did another show somewhere doable, I'd just go to that instead.

[nyarlathotoats]

Personally, I share the sentiments of some. The lineup has few and far between acts that excite. The color is nice though...

[GuyInTucson]

Deadmau5, Skrillex, Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, Sasha & Digweed, Steve Aoki, Rusko . . . it's like a goddamn nightmare come to life.

For whoever created this . . . there aren't enough doorknobs in the world to give you the sack beating you deserve.

You remove Sasha and Digweed from that list, sir.

[Justin170]

LOL to Kool Keith being that high!

[GuyInTucson]

That's what I was thinking^^

[GuyInTucson]

I wonder what Ivy has to say to Ben Folds Five being on the fourth line...

[Boourns]

Under closer inspection, there's quite a lot I would want to see. But of those 40 acts, only a few would generate any true excitement. Enough for me to attend, but I would opt for a European festival and a solo Lush show if that was doable.

[GuyInTucson]

Under closer inspection, there's quite a lot I would want to see. But of those 40 acts, only a few would generate any true excitement. Enough for me to attend, but I would opt for a European festival and a solo Lush show if that was doable.

Yeah there are a few gut-wrenching names on there, but in between those, I found a lot that I would definitely see. I am just a short drive up I-10 though, so I would hold on to my pass for sure for this.

[Boourns]

Yeah, total gut-wrenching face-palmers.

I have a policy to not attend an event that features the black keys or skrillex. Almost broke it this year for pulp, and the combination of lush/daft punk/bat for lashes/mono would probably get me there.

[citizenerased]

Danger would not be that high but I wouldn't mind.

[Rolwolf]

This is fairly reasonable. Headliners include a mega-superstar who may or may not “fit” Coachella, a rare act everyone’s wanted for years, and someone on Friday who lots of people will call a lazy booking. Undercard has 2-3 rare acts/reunions per day, lots of indie rock, lots of repeat performers, and a Sahara lineup everyone will hate.

I guess I would be happy with this lineup. Not thrilled, but there’s enough worth seeing to make it worth the money and trip to the desert.

[theklein25]

I don't see Goldenvoice stooping that low and booking... Beyonce.

[GuyInTucson]

I don't see Goldenvoice stooping that low and booking... Beyonce.

She has headlined Glastonbury already so it's not really stooping low at all. I mean, it's not Incubus low...

[Larry Farnsworth]

You might want to remove this one before all the purists freak out.

You remove Sasha and Digweed from that list, sir.

My only experience with them was Sasha at Bonnaroo in 2006. I wasn't a fan. That said, if they were the "big" EDM name playing after a headliner on Friday night, I wouldn't hate it on the level of all those others. Mea culpa.

Is there a fake poster generator somewhere?

[nathanfairchild]

i'm too lazy to look, but yeah there's one in the 2012 poster thread.

[theklein25]

Alright true enough. If they book Queens of the Stone Age to go against her then I'm cool with it

[travelfan]

Meh, I didn't think this one was that bad, Daft Punk obviously is enough to get me there, and in terms of "life list"/rare acts that people gush over, you've got: Culture Club, Aphex Twin, Lush, The Stone Roses, Fiona Apple, Sasha/Digweed, Pet Shop Boys, Al Green, Ray Davies. And that's from just the top three lines. Awful Sahara. I am praying they at least throw some 2ManyDJs/Boys Noize acts in there, mainstream enough but still good. But let's be real, this is probably close to realistic in terms of the mainstream/Pitchfork/music nerd ratio.

Cannot wait for the following fake poster cliches:
1. Overly stacked-chella
2. LMFAO as a subheadliner-chella
3. Music purist's wet dream-chella

Bring 'em on.

[travelfan]

Also, of course, #4: Used the wrong font-chella.

[captncrzy]

WOOO PET SHOP BOYS

Oh, wait, this isn't real by a mile. And seriously--too fucking soon for this shit. Cant we just wait until it's a bit closer? At least we can pretend that there's a chance it might be real when the festival is a mere 6 months off versus 10.

[808HiLife]

This is way too early, at least last years fake was around november.

[Whittick]

This is way too early, at least last years fake was around november.

There were loads before that.

[GuyInTucson]

They're fake posters. Who cares?

[paulb]

Fake poster season is the best part of the year! Right behind the actual lineup being announced.... Who doesnt like daydreaming about seeing Fugazi, The Knife, Daft Punk, Blur all on the same day!?

[SepaGroove]

Take away Beyonce and a few others and this is an amazing lineup.