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Thread: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

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  1. #1

    Default 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    It has begun. Really? Whatever, let us begin another year of discussing poor billing decisions, practicing our shocked faces for when Daft Punk is on the real lineup, and pointing out how they spelled Armin van Buuren's name wrong.

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  2. #2
    Member Larry Farnsworth's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Deadmau5, Skrillex, Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, Sasha & Digweed, Steve Aoki, Rusko . . . it's like a goddamn nightmare come to life.

    For whoever created this . . . there aren't enough doorknobs in the world to give you the sack beating you deserve.
    Quote Originally Posted by baily View Post
    Eat a dick on that or did I make too much sense for your mind to take

  3. #3

    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Larry Farnsworth View Post
    Deadmau5, Skrillex, Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, Sasha & Digweed, Steve Aoki, Rusko . . . it's like a goddamn nightmare come to life.

    For whoever created this . . . there aren't enough doorknobs in the world to give you the sack beating you deserve.
    You might want to remove this one before all the purists freak out.

    On another note, whoever made this one clearly scanned the board because it's pretty much whatever acts were on the first page of the Rumors forum this past week.

    Also, this is from the Monklish blog comments. Fight me.

  4. #4
    Coachella Junkie Boourns's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Larry Farnsworth View Post
    Deadmau5, Skrillex, Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, Sasha & Digweed, Steve Aoki, Rusko . . . it's like a goddamn nightmare come to life.

    For whoever created this . . . there aren't enough doorknobs in the world to give you the sack beating you deserve.
    I guess it is possible for the Sahara lineup to be as embarrassing as this year's was. Yikes.

    So much rubbish, but there's enough worth seeing to make me consider it. If Lush did another show somewhere doable, I'd just go to that instead.
    7/26 Au Revoir Simone @ The Roxy, 8/1 Arcade Fire, the Unicorns, Dan Deacon at the Forum, 8/2 Burger a-Go-Go, @ Observatory, 8/9 Warpaint @ Observatory, 8/10 Warpaint @ The Ace, 8/23-24 FYF Fest, 9/11 Swans @ Roxy, 9/18 Neutral Milk Hotel @ Hollywood Bowl, 9/19 Chvrches @ Palladium, 9/30 Cibo Matto @ the Roxy, 10/9 Zola Jesus @ El Rey, 10/16 Massive Attack @ Greek Theater, 10/26 Asobi Seksu & Slowdive @ Royale

  5. #5
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Larry Farnsworth View Post
    Deadmau5, Skrillex, Pretty Lights, Bassnectar, Sasha & Digweed, Steve Aoki, Rusko . . . it's like a goddamn nightmare come to life.

    For whoever created this . . . there aren't enough doorknobs in the world to give you the sack beating you deserve.
    You remove Sasha and Digweed from that list, sir.
    7/21 - !!! @ Club Congress (Tucson, AZ)
    8/23 - Galactic @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    8/25 - Future Islands @ 191 Toole (Tucson, AZ)
    10/11 - Carolina Chocolate Drops @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    11/10 - The Black Keys @ US Airways Center (Phoenix, AZ)
    4/10/15 - 4/12/15 - Coachella

  6. #6
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Argh. To much pop.

  7. #7
    Coachella Junkie nathanfairchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    if the real one even resembled that a little bit i'd sell my tickets in an instant.
    July 29 - Boris
    August 1 - Black Label Society
    August 14 - Nine Inch Nails/Soundgarden/DEP
    August 27 - Röyksopp & Robyn
    August 30 - Sleep
    August 31 - Sleep
    September 5 - Seth Troxler
    September 14 - Lily Allen
    September 16 - Earth
    September 20 - Skeletonwitch
    September 21 - Nails
    October 3-5 - Austin City Limits
    October 10 - Bonobo
    October 12 - Austin City Limits: Day 3
    October 23 - 26 - Housecore Horror Metal Festival
    November 7-9 - Fun Fun Fun Fest
    November 23 - Caribou

  8. #8

    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Agreed!

    It's horrible.

    There's like maybe 10-15 acts I'd want to see.. 2012, all but like 10.

    Someone joked about Nickelback headlining...... I don't think so. haha.

  9. #9

    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by missyvilla View Post
    Agreed!

    Someone joked about Nickelback headlining...... I don't think so. haha.

    That is not even funny. It would give me nightmares if this was even speculation.

  10. #10
    old school casey's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    I love fake poster time. Everyone gets so up in arms.
    Quote Originally Posted by Newro7ic View Post
    Lakers fans are some of the most delusional people in the world, I swear.
    my name is casey. i love pavement and i want to pet every dog in the world.

  11. #11

    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Personally, I share the sentiments of some. The lineup has few and far between acts that excite. The color is nice though...
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Smooches. =)

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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    LOL to Kool Keith being that high!

  13. #13
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    I wonder what Ivy has to say to Ben Folds Five being on the fourth line...
    7/21 - !!! @ Club Congress (Tucson, AZ)
    8/23 - Galactic @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    8/25 - Future Islands @ 191 Toole (Tucson, AZ)
    10/11 - Carolina Chocolate Drops @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    11/10 - The Black Keys @ US Airways Center (Phoenix, AZ)
    4/10/15 - 4/12/15 - Coachella

  14. #14
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by GuyInTucson View Post
    I wonder what Ivy has to say to Ben Folds Five being on the fourth line...
    what did she have to say about them being on the sixth line on the Bonnaroo poster?
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    Daft Punk will unveil its third member, Crush.

  15. #15
    Member apostle2's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by nbvcide View Post
    what did she have to say about them being on the sixth line on the Bonnaroo poster?
    Hope this is a joke.

  16. #16
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by nbvcide View Post
    what did she have to say about them being on the sixth line on the Bonnaroo poster?
    Shut the fuck up.
    7/21 - !!! @ Club Congress (Tucson, AZ)
    8/23 - Galactic @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    8/25 - Future Islands @ 191 Toole (Tucson, AZ)
    10/11 - Carolina Chocolate Drops @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    11/10 - The Black Keys @ US Airways Center (Phoenix, AZ)
    4/10/15 - 4/12/15 - Coachella

  17. #17
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    That's what I was thinking^^
    7/21 - !!! @ Club Congress (Tucson, AZ)
    8/23 - Galactic @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    8/25 - Future Islands @ 191 Toole (Tucson, AZ)
    10/11 - Carolina Chocolate Drops @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    11/10 - The Black Keys @ US Airways Center (Phoenix, AZ)
    4/10/15 - 4/12/15 - Coachella

  18. #18
    Coachella Junkie Boourns's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Under closer inspection, there's quite a lot I would want to see. But of those 40 acts, only a few would generate any true excitement. Enough for me to attend, but I would opt for a European festival and a solo Lush show if that was doable.
    7/26 Au Revoir Simone @ The Roxy, 8/1 Arcade Fire, the Unicorns, Dan Deacon at the Forum, 8/2 Burger a-Go-Go, @ Observatory, 8/9 Warpaint @ Observatory, 8/10 Warpaint @ The Ace, 8/23-24 FYF Fest, 9/11 Swans @ Roxy, 9/18 Neutral Milk Hotel @ Hollywood Bowl, 9/19 Chvrches @ Palladium, 9/30 Cibo Matto @ the Roxy, 10/9 Zola Jesus @ El Rey, 10/16 Massive Attack @ Greek Theater, 10/26 Asobi Seksu & Slowdive @ Royale

  19. #19
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Boourns View Post
    Under closer inspection, there's quite a lot I would want to see. But of those 40 acts, only a few would generate any true excitement. Enough for me to attend, but I would opt for a European festival and a solo Lush show if that was doable.

    Yeah there are a few gut-wrenching names on there, but in between those, I found a lot that I would definitely see. I am just a short drive up I-10 though, so I would hold on to my pass for sure for this.
    7/21 - !!! @ Club Congress (Tucson, AZ)
    8/23 - Galactic @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    8/25 - Future Islands @ 191 Toole (Tucson, AZ)
    10/11 - Carolina Chocolate Drops @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    11/10 - The Black Keys @ US Airways Center (Phoenix, AZ)
    4/10/15 - 4/12/15 - Coachella

  20. #20
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    This is fairly reasonable. Headliners include a mega-superstar who may or may not “fit” Coachella, a rare act everyone’s wanted for years, and someone on Friday who lots of people will call a lazy booking. Undercard has 2-3 rare acts/reunions per day, lots of indie rock, lots of repeat performers, and a Sahara lineup everyone will hate.

    I guess I would be happy with this lineup. Not thrilled, but there’s enough worth seeing to make it worth the money and trip to the desert.

  21. #21
    Coachella Junkie Boourns's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Yeah, total gut-wrenching face-palmers.

    I have a policy to not attend an event that features the black keys or skrillex. Almost broke it this year for pulp, and the combination of lush/daft punk/bat for lashes/mono would probably get me there.
    7/26 Au Revoir Simone @ The Roxy, 8/1 Arcade Fire, the Unicorns, Dan Deacon at the Forum, 8/2 Burger a-Go-Go, @ Observatory, 8/9 Warpaint @ Observatory, 8/10 Warpaint @ The Ace, 8/23-24 FYF Fest, 9/11 Swans @ Roxy, 9/18 Neutral Milk Hotel @ Hollywood Bowl, 9/19 Chvrches @ Palladium, 9/30 Cibo Matto @ the Roxy, 10/9 Zola Jesus @ El Rey, 10/16 Massive Attack @ Greek Theater, 10/26 Asobi Seksu & Slowdive @ Royale

  22. #22
    Member citizenerased's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Danger would not be that high but I wouldn't mind.

  23. #23
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    I don't see Goldenvoice stooping that low and booking... Beyonce.
    Follow me on Twitter at Klein25
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  24. #24
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by theklein25 View Post
    I don't see Goldenvoice stooping that low and booking... Beyonce.
    She has headlined Glastonbury already so it's not really stooping low at all. I mean, it's not Incubus low...
    7/21 - !!! @ Club Congress (Tucson, AZ)
    8/23 - Galactic @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    8/25 - Future Islands @ 191 Toole (Tucson, AZ)
    10/11 - Carolina Chocolate Drops @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    11/10 - The Black Keys @ US Airways Center (Phoenix, AZ)
    4/10/15 - 4/12/15 - Coachella

  25. #25
    Member Larry Farnsworth's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by travelfan View Post
    You might want to remove this one before all the purists freak out.
    Quote Originally Posted by GuyInTucson View Post
    You remove Sasha and Digweed from that list, sir.
    My only experience with them was Sasha at Bonnaroo in 2006. I wasn't a fan. That said, if they were the "big" EDM name playing after a headliner on Friday night, I wouldn't hate it on the level of all those others. Mea culpa.

    Is there a fake poster generator somewhere?
    Quote Originally Posted by baily View Post
    Eat a dick on that or did I make too much sense for your mind to take

  26. #26
    Coachella Junkie nathanfairchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    i'm too lazy to look, but yeah there's one in the 2012 poster thread.
    July 29 - Boris
    August 1 - Black Label Society
    August 14 - Nine Inch Nails/Soundgarden/DEP
    August 27 - Röyksopp & Robyn
    August 30 - Sleep
    August 31 - Sleep
    September 5 - Seth Troxler
    September 14 - Lily Allen
    September 16 - Earth
    September 20 - Skeletonwitch
    September 21 - Nails
    October 3-5 - Austin City Limits
    October 10 - Bonobo
    October 12 - Austin City Limits: Day 3
    October 23 - 26 - Housecore Horror Metal Festival
    November 7-9 - Fun Fun Fun Fest
    November 23 - Caribou

  27. #27
    old school theklein25's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Alright true enough. If they book Queens of the Stone Age to go against her then I'm cool with it
    Follow me on Twitter at Klein25
    Spoon Aug 8 Hollywood
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  28. #28

    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Meh, I didn't think this one was that bad, Daft Punk obviously is enough to get me there, and in terms of "life list"/rare acts that people gush over, you've got: Culture Club, Aphex Twin, Lush, The Stone Roses, Fiona Apple, Sasha/Digweed, Pet Shop Boys, Al Green, Ray Davies. And that's from just the top three lines. Awful Sahara. I am praying they at least throw some 2ManyDJs/Boys Noize acts in there, mainstream enough but still good. But let's be real, this is probably close to realistic in terms of the mainstream/Pitchfork/music nerd ratio.

    Cannot wait for the following fake poster cliches:
    1. Overly stacked-chella
    2. LMFAO as a subheadliner-chella
    3. Music purist's wet dream-chella

    Bring 'em on.

  29. #29

    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    Also, of course, #4: Used the wrong font-chella.

  30. #30
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: 2013 Fake Poster Thread

    WOOO PET SHOP BOYS

    Oh, wait, this isn't real by a mile. And seriously--too fucking soon for this shit. Cant we just wait until it's a bit closer? At least we can pretend that there's a chance it might be real when the festival is a mere 6 months off versus 10.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Arcade FIre are a bunch of dicks, Deadmau5 is a dick, bands are dicks, David Bowie sucks dicks, Daft Punk is two human buttholes with semen for brains (that was loaded into a butthole from a dick that grew out of their moms), we're all dicks that fucked our moms assholes, God is going to put a giant dick down and fuck our mouths

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