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Thread: The Parenting Thread

  1. #151
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    While at my mother-in-law's house, my ten-year-old daughter apparently defaced a religious painting out of anger at being locked out of a room near that painting. My mother-in-law is asking that my daughter make payments to pay for the painting which cost $150 and is no longer available to be replaced. Reasonable? Any suggestions? I know that money is tight in her household.
    Last edited by amyzzz; 07-16-2012 at 09:19 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  2. #152
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    The painting locked her out of the room?

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  3. #153
    old school Bud Luster's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    I think "by" means near in this case???
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  4. #154
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Whoops. Awkward sentence. I changed it.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  5. #155
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Ah. I think that's a fairly reasonable request and a good lesson for your daughter that actions have consequences etc, etc.

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  6. #156
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    The thing is, I've been lax with chores and allowances lately, so I guess I really need to start that up again. It's too bad I have to use this reason to start that up.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  7. #157
    Coachella Junkie faxman75's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    I took my 14 year old to see the move Ted over the weekend. I think it's silly that so many people would be freaked out by such a thing. The comments I was reading on the internet about people taking their kids were ridiculous. His mom took him to see it a week ago and some lady openly said to her "I can't believe you are taking a kid to this movie". Mind you, Connor looks closer to 10 years old than 14 but who are these people who think there is some blanket understanding in children. Who are these people to know what's inappropriate for a strangers kid?

  8. #158
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    He's a drug addict now. GOOD JOB FAXY.

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  9. #159
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Maybe if the family is tight on money, they shouldn't be spending it on precious art. Split it down the middle and call it a lesson for both sides.

  10. #160
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Maybe they purchased the art when they weren't tight on money? Like in a time when the country was more economically prosperous?

    POOR PEOPLE AM I RIGHT

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  11. #161
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    $150 is not something i would call "precious art."
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  12. #162
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Also, i think it's fair to ask for reimbursement of some kind, not because money is tight, but because there should be consequences to actions.

    Did you daughter apologize? Does she have any kind of remorse? Why was she locked out of the room in the first place? Maybe there needs to be discussion about how she's treated over there, are there weird communication issues? You say, it's your in-laws, are these people actually your children's grandparents?
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  13. #163
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    How did she deface it and why was she locked out? She should have to reimburse her for the painting because she damaged someone else's property but it seems weird for an adult to lock a child out of a room when the the child is not a toddler or a baby.
    Quote Originally Posted by Newro7ic View Post
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  14. #164
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Yes, the situation seems more complicated than "this person did something wrong and now she has to fix it." I wonder if there are bigger issues to deal with here.
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  15. #165
    Member OnlyNonStranger's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    The thing is, I've been lax with chores and allowances lately, so I guess I really need to start that up again. It's too bad I have to use this reason to start that up.
    Wait. Wait. Wait. You pay your kids to do chores? What the fuck.

  16. #166
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    First I think you need to verify if your daughter defaced the artwork because she was locked out of the room or if she did it because it upsets her so much that her Grandma spends what little money she has on religious artwork.

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  17. #167
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Was it a Kinkade? Telly our mother in law he was a drunk homo and then towel pop her in the coochie.

  18. #168
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    I know why she was locked out the room. My mother-in-law (yes, her grandma) allowed her to sew in the sewing room, but then found her sewing with scissors, needle, and a bunch of fabric in the bedroom and making a big mess in there. My mother-in-law asked her to please sew in the sewing room so she could keep the fabric mess in there, but not ten minutes later she found my daughter back in the bedroom sewing. Her grandma then took the sewing implements away from her and locked her out of the sewing room since she did not follow her instructions. She says she did not SEE my daughter deface the picture, but she overheard my older daughter tell the younger one "don't do that, you'll get in trouble" as if she was doing something knowingly wrong, like drawing on the painting.

    The painting was a present from her husband.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  19. #169
    old school Mr. Fuzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    While at my mother-in-law's house, my ten-year-old daughter apparently defaced a religious painting out of anger at being locked out of a room near that painting. My mother-in-law is asking that my daughter make payments to pay for the painting which cost $150 and is no longer available to be replaced. Reasonable? Any suggestions? I know that money is tight in her household.
    Maybe suggest for her to work it off at the in-law's house, so that there is no actual cash exchanged. Or you could just fork over the money and discipline your daughter how you see fit.
    "ain't no thang but a chicken wang"

  20. #170
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Her grandma lives in Utah outside SLC, and we live in Mesa, AZ. We probably won't see her again for another few years. (who wants to go to Utah?)
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  21. #171
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Exactly how defaced is this painting? Mustache? Holes? Decoupaged pornography?

    She should make an arrangement to work the painting off with the mother-in-law, but it would also be a nice gesture if you had her paint something at home to give to her as an apology.

  22. #172
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Does your grandma have pay pal? Maybe your daughter can start a facebook farm for your grandma and take care of the animals for her and such?

  23. #173
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    I want to know what she did to the painting and if you saw it. How old is your daughter, again? What did your husband have to say about it? It's always tricky dealing with your other half's parents.
    Quote Originally Posted by Newro7ic View Post
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  24. #174
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by faxman75 View Post
    Does your grandma have pay pal? Maybe your daughter can start a facebook farm for your grandma and take care of the animals for her and such?
    Sounds like it's an appropriate time for you to teach your daughter the magic of kickstarter.

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  25. #175
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    $150 is a little much for a kid to make up. At age 18, call it 100% their responsibility, but scale back for younger kids. There is no need to erase every good deed your daughter has done to save up $150 because of one mistake where under the consequences you describe arguably could spread blame amongst multiple parties.

    For a smaller price, perhaps it can be repaired, or perhaps your daughter can buy something similar, or even sew together something religous that can be a good replacement someday down the line.

  26. #176
    old school Mr. Fuzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Exactly how defaced is this painting? Mustache? Holes? Decoupaged pornography?

    She should make an arrangement to work the painting off with the mother-in-law, but it would also be a nice gesture if you had her paint something at home to give to her as an apology.
    Art for art.
    "ain't no thang but a chicken wang"

  27. #177
    Coachella Junkie faxman75's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Relax, Wes will develop a sliding payment scale for the young lass.

  28. #178
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Also, I believe the in-laws can deduct the loss on their taxes.

  29. #179
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by casey View Post
    I want to know what she did to the painting and if you saw it. How old is your daughter, again? What did your husband have to say about it? It's always tricky dealing with your other half's parents.
    I think I remember seeing scribbling on a picture when we were there. My daughter is 10. My husband is not sure she did it. We drove up there for a few days, left the kids there until the next weekend, and then drove back to pick them up, so the girls spent some time under their grandma's authority, and this supposedly took place during that time. I want to believe she did not do it, but I remember seeing that picture and wondering what was up with that -- if the kids did it -- but forgot about it. When I told my younger daughter about her grandma's email regarding the picture, this morning, she grunted evasively and started crying, which made her seem guilty, although she said later she does not know what picture I'm talking about and didn't do it. My older daughter remembered the picture and how it was defaced, but she sounded very earnest when she said she did not see the younger daughter do it.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  30. #180
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Parenting Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    While at my mother-in-law's house, my ten-year-old daughter apparently defaced a religious painting out of anger at being locked out of a room near that painting. My mother-in-law is asking that my daughter make payments to pay for the painting which cost $150 and is no longer available to be replaced. Reasonable? Any suggestions? I know that money is tight in her household.
    Have her pick up dog poop for a few weeks or "volunteer" for a trash pickup several times. Defacing art is something folks should learn NOT to do at a young age. If the husband is dead, that doesn't help your daughter at all.

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