About a month ago, my 9 year-old daughter started asking about seeing the movie Jack and Jill. I immediately squished the thought of this idea she clearly picked up in the public school system. The request came up a couple more times and I always contained it by explaining how movies like that “make us dumber” and “alienate our friends”.
On my way out the door one night last week, I was explaining to our babysitter (a new one) that “they really shouldn’t need to watch TV tonight as the weather is nice, etc…”. I didn’t even bother leaving the 4 digit Apple TV code. Upon my return, she explains how she was a pushover all night and mentions they watched a couple movies and a dozen or so previews. The next morning my daughter explains that one of them was Jack and Jill. I was furious and felt betrayed. “If you’re not going to listen to my advice on important matters at 9, how are you going to make it through your teens without moving to the Coachella valley and becoming a meth addict”…stuff like that.
Even more puzzling was how the hell did they watch Jack and Jill in the first place. So, I navigate to Jack and Jill on Apple TV and instead of a rental button, there is just the “Play” button. None of the other movies on iTunes have “Play” buttons, just rental or buy buttons. My thought is that it’s the ONLY free movie on iTunes; it’s that bad. I joke with the wife and explain to my daughter that it’s so bad, nobody is willing to pay for it, and they have to give it away for free in order for people to watch it.
Fast forward to last night when I just by chance see a PURCHASE for Jack and Jill on my iTunes account. Apparently, the latest version of Apple TV firmware wiped out the parental password and they purchased a bunch of other terrible movies willy nilly that night. We are proud owners of this masterpiece.
Unfortunately, the statute of limitations for prosecuting nine year-olds and babysitters for this type of crap is about 1-2 days. Instead, I think I have a nice overview queued up on movie distribution and the differences between watching them in a theater, on TV, renting them, and buying them. And when she’s 15 or so, I’ll just garnish the cost out of her allowance or first paycheck.