Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

[PotVsKtl]

A metal dick to beat everyone but Alchemy to death with.

[Hannahrain]

I'm pretty sure my most recent memory of you is a brief vignette in which you attempt http://www.grindtv.com/outdoor/blog/...y+large+shark/ to drink a pint of beer through your bony denim-clad thighs. I don't know what you're clicking my dignified guy thread for. I accidentally pasted that in but I can't really bring myself to delete it.

[PotVsKtl]

Pish posh old Churlish. The mangrave grove's grown.

[TomAz]

You should make him a carillon. It might not fit in your carry-on though.

[Hannahrain]

A vulture boards a plane dragging two rotting carcasses and starts squishing them into the overhead bin. The flight attendant comes up and says "I'm sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

[SoulDischarge]

Finally, Hannah has said something funny for once.

[PotVsKtl]

Whatever you do, don't cast a plaque that explains what would compel someone to wear a trucker hat underwater.

[Hannahrain]

So you already have one? Another gift idea ruined.

[Hannahrain]

Oh wait it's cool though, I still have an extra carrion. It'll look offal-y nice on you!

[insbordnat]

Slightly cliche, but some bronze coasters with leather inlays with his initials would be nice.

Other office decoration is always appreciated, like a cast golf ball or some other abstract sculpture/design. Paperweights, although not overly functional these days, is also a cool gift.

An engraved bag tag is nice for a golfer.

[jackstraw94086]

He reads the comics every Sunday, but he calls them "the funnies" like some kind of weird person who calls the comics the wrong thing.

"funny papers" used to be a commonly accepted term back in old timey days.
At some point it was the "comics' camp that were the odd ones using wrong words.


Someday your grandkids will laugh behind your back when you use the word "tweet"

[algunz]

What about a puzzle of sorts? Keep his mind active.

[Hannahrain]

Be quiet. I am trying to learn what synonyms are.

[algunz]

They're really good on buttered toast.

[bmack86]

That's a really neat idea. I don't think he would do that, but I'm going to do that for a friend who absolutely would.

And I will appreciate it endlessly.

[JustSteve]

maybe something that could hold a couple of decanters, like a base to set them on or a carrier? then grab a couple crystal decanters and get them inscribed.

[SoulDischarge]

Every gentleman appreciates a revolver.

[Alchemy]

You should make him some dignified toe rings.

[Hannahrain]

I'm going to make him a set of silver collar stays because he is a gentleman. Thank you all for your valuable/worthless input.

[Alchemy]

Silver collar stays that also double as throwing knives (for when fighting werewolves), I hope.

[lt.roast.a.botch]

Cigar humidifier for golf or if he does not smoke, nothing is more essential for a gentleman playing golf than a UroClub

[thelastgreatman]

I think going with golf as a hobby and making a variety of items would be the best way to go. As my father was also a lawyer, and a golfer, although apparently not nearly as fiscally well off as your grandfather, I gotta say that with very few exceptions people would rather have gifts for their hobbies--which they enjoy--rather than their jobs--where they might like certain other versions of the stuff you'd make just for functional reasons.

The personalized ball markers are a good idea, but think about doing a whole set. Get an existing golf glove and. Then he gets a nice set of stuff and if he doesn't like one of them for some reason it's still cool because he'll probably like the others and won't have to feel guilty.