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Thread: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

  1. #1
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    I would like to fabricate and/or cast a birthday gift for my grandpa using bronze, brass, or silver. He doesn't carry cash, so no money clip. All his shirts have button cuffs, so no cufflinks. I want to give him the present in person while we're on a family vacation later this year, so nothing I can't take through international airline security (no letter opener). He's worn the same tie bar every day since 1972, so no tie pin. He's a lawyer. He plays golf. He reads the comics every Sunday, but he calls them "the funnies" like some kind of weird person who calls the comics the wrong thing. He doesn't know how to make a sandwich, but he still tries to carry your suitcase for you. He'll probably work every day until he dies sitting at his desk wearing a Lacoste cardigan and a pair of really unfortunate pants.

    My only medium-okay idea so far is a set of golf ball markers, or possibly still making a letter opener and shipping it beforehand, but I feel like there's got to be something better and I'd really rather give it in person.

    Are you fairly dignified except for some really unfortunate pants? Does the phrase "for tax reasons" come up in your conversation at least once a day? Do you still put quotation marks around the word "e-mail" in casual correspondence? For the love of God, please tell me what present you'd want.

  2. #2
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Exclusive pen.

  3. #3
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    You could make these little buttons that I've seen that you put on the end of golf clubs for identification purposes.

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    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Or I know it's a bit cliche, but a picture frame with your pretty mug highlighted would probably be greatly appreciated.

  5. #5
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Quote Originally Posted by Mugwog View Post
    Exclusive pen.
    I thought about trying to make some sort of jacket/clip for an existing pen, but I think that would be sort of difficult to execute and it really is important that I make it myself. The guy's probably got a fancy pen from everybody he's ever shaken hands with at the country club, and he could buy anything he decided he wanted.

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    You could make these little buttons that I've seen that you put on the end of golf clubs for identification purposes.
    I actually got him those a few years ago, but that would be a good idea otherwise.

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    Or I know it's a bit cliche, but a picture frame with your pretty mug highlighted would probably be greatly appreciated.
    "I got you this picture of me" is definitely not my approach, but if I can't make anything else work, I may see if I can find a nice picture of the family.

    Where's PlayaDelWes? I bet he would know the right thing.

  6. #6
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Can you make a book holder? Like a nice metal-and-wood deal to keep a book open while he's doing legal research or working with documents? Maybe bevel in some pin holes on the back so it could be a useful all-in-one desk accompaniment?
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  7. #7
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    A kind of display/holder for his business cards?

    Personally, I would want you to make me some bullets, or some other projectiles, so that I can defend my property.

    EDIT: By the way, here is an example of what I mean.



    Except made of bronze or silver or something.
    Last edited by Alchemy; 04-29-2012 at 09:02 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  8. #8
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Or some cool book ends?

  9. #9
    Coachella Junkie Mr. Dylanja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    A personalized golf divot tool (possibly with a ball marker built in). Something every golfer uses, that comes in a variety of shapes and sizes. Just google it and you'll see hundreds of different types.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Will somebody trade their bow ticket for my stern ticket? I have this thing where I get seasick if I'm on the wrong side of the engine room, and it works better with my schedule to be on the front end of the changing time zone.

  10. #10
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    You should make unique screws that can only be screwed/unscrewed by a unique screwdriver (that you also make). And then you call it [His Name]'s Screwdriver.

    Unless his name is Phillip. Then it will not be fun.

    EDIT: Hmm... Now that I think about it. This would not be very dignified or high net worth.
    Last edited by Alchemy; 04-29-2012 at 09:19 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  11. #11
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Can you make a book holder? Like a nice metal-and-wood deal to keep a book open while he's doing legal research or working with documents? Maybe bevel in some pin holes on the back so it could be a useful all-in-one desk accompaniment?
    Interesting idea, but a bit much to carry overseas.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alchemy View Post
    A kind of display/holder for his business cards?

    Personally, I would want you to make me some bullets, or some other projectiles, so that I can defend my property.

    EDIT: By the way, here is an example of what I mean.



    Except made of bronze or silver or something.
    He mostly works from home these days, but maybe a business card case.

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    Or some cool book ends?
    Another good idea, but a lot to carry.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Dylanja View Post
    A personalized golf divot tool (possibly with a ball marker built in). Something every golfer uses, that comes in a variety of shapes and sizes. Just google it and you'll see hundreds of different types.
    Look at this guy patronizing me about golf divot tools like I've never golfed. It is a good idea, though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alchemy View Post
    You should make unique screws that can only be screwed/unscrewed by a unique screwdriver (that you also make). And then you call it [His Name]'s Screwdriver.

    Unless his name is Phillip. Then it will not be fun.
    He's actually got his own variant already:


  12. #12
    Member hippityhip's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Well if he's a lawyer I'm sure he sends a lot of mail out. Why don't you make him a stamp with a seal with his initials or something to that effect. He can dip it in red wax and seal envelopes.
    Four Tet - Mohawk - 3/1
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  13. #13
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    How about a silver paperweight that is also the bust of Chris Cooper (Actor - October Sky, Seabiscuit)?
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  14. #14
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Quote Originally Posted by hippityhip View Post
    Well if he's a lawyer I'm sure he sends a lot of mail out. Why don't you make him a stamp with a seal with his initials or something to that effect. He can dip it in red wax and seal envelopes.
    That's a really neat idea. I don't think he would do that, but I'm going to do that for a friend who absolutely would.

  15. #15
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Does he brew his own coffee?

  16. #16
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    He doesn't even pour his own coffee.

  17. #17
    Stage Manager captncrzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Tom is clearly the only one qualified to answer this question.
    Odi profanum vulgus et arceo. I hate the unholy rabble and keep them away - Horace.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
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  18. #18
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Lol, make him a metal waitress.

  19. #19
    Member Riggins33's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    You should get him Doritos locos tacos, Sometimes you just gotta Live Más.

  20. #20
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Some coasters like this?

    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  21. #21
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    A picture frame or set of picture frames. Insert pics of the fam, the area, or some of his favorite things.
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

  22. #22
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    A bell, so that he may call for his coffee.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  23. #23
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Something like a cigarette case, except that it holds golf tees instead of cigarettes.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  24. #24
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Quote Originally Posted by Alchemy View Post
    Something like a cigarette case, except that it holds golf tees instead of cigarettes.
    This, but include a set of metal golf tees
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

  25. #25
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Can you make a book holder? Like a nice metal-and-wood deal to keep a book open while he's doing legal research or working with documents? Maybe bevel in some pin holes on the back so it could be a useful all-in-one desk accompaniment?
    Perhaps some book ends with your face engraved in bronze for each end?

    Perhaps bronzing his first great grand children as bookends (or his first two from you?)
    Last edited by Mugwog; 04-30-2012 at 03:54 AM.

  26. #26
    Coachella Junkie Mr. Dylanja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Quote Originally Posted by PlayaDelWes View Post
    This, but include a set of metal golf tees
    Wouldn't that ruin the clubs?
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Will somebody trade their bow ticket for my stern ticket? I have this thing where I get seasick if I'm on the wrong side of the engine room, and it works better with my schedule to be on the front end of the changing time zone.

  27. #27
    Coachella Junkie PlayaDelWes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Shhhh
    Quote Originally Posted by dj12inches View Post
    What makes me qualified? I've watched EVERY fucking episode of American Idol, and every single episode of The Voice...Forget that I won departmental music awards when I was in the 8th grade choir.

  28. #28
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Quote Originally Posted by Riggins33 View Post
    You should get him Doritos locos tacos, Sometimes you just gotta Live Más.
    God, I'm fucking addicted to these tacos right now.
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  29. #29
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    A small anchor on a thin chain that, when he removes it from his pocket and lets it hang from his belt, allows him to stay fixed in time.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  30. #30
    Member Hatinisbad's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeking Advice From [Relatively] Dignified Men With High Net Worth

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    Or I know it's a bit cliche, but a picture frame with your pretty mug highlighted would probably be greatly appreciated.
    ^this

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