The Thread In Which We Discuss TomAz's Upcoming Colonoscopy

[TomAz]

Did you read the part where I said the tube is only 1cm across?

[Mugwog]

That's why I specified you think of me.

[captncrzy]

Surgery for an anal fissure. Nothing like taking a post-anesthesia shit with stitches holding your asshole together.

Been there, man. It's called an episiotomy.

[Drewbles]

Tom, my dad had colon cancer - it sucks. Take care of yourself and get this procedure done so you can catch any potential problems early. Best of luck to you.

[amyzzz]

Been there, man. It's called an episiotomy.

ha. I've been there too.

[JustSteve]

There's a happy thought!

I am 39 and have had 4 or 5 of these done. They aren't that bad.

Having the scope down the throat, that is the worst, especially when you wake up halfway through the procedure. Or having to eat a radioactive egg. YUMMMM

imagine "waking up" during a bronchoscopy then. tubes in your lungs pumping water in so they can look around, clean it out and also get some samples. basically feel like you are drowning during the procedure, coughing up a storm, with tubes down your throat and in your lungs. i take a ton of sedation due to all the medications i am constantly on yet still come out remembering a lot of it. the insertion of the tubes is always the worst part. they usually try to do them during my sinus surgeries now, when i am under general anesthesia.

had to do the radioactive egg last time. they didn't tell me it was going to be eggs. I HATE EGGS! also had a dry piece of toast and one little carton of oj. thought for sure they would give me something more to drink so i chugged down the oj cuz i was so thirsty. i had been npo since midnight and it was 10am the next morning. they said no, so i had to eat 90% of that meal with nothing to wash it down. then lay there for another hour while they checked the progress of my meal. ugh. npo also meant no pain medication since it can slow down digestion. i had been taking 20mg of percocet 6 times a day at that point. went over 12 hours without any and holy hell withdrawal is a motherfucker!

people wonder why i am in no hurry to return to the hospital even though it may be time, haha.

now back to you, tom. good luck! and enjoy the massive fart you will release awhile after the procedure.

[Grandma]

my dad recently has his first colonoscopy and was asked if he wanted to bring music in while the procedure was done to put his mind at ease. He thought it'd be funny to bring in a half hour audio loop of roller coaster noises to fuck with the doctor as he was looking at the screen.

[threeve]

ITT: TomAz loses his sh!t.

I hear the guests at weekend 2 of this colonoscopy are going to be even better than those at weekend 1.

[ivankay]

Thanks for putting this up Tom. i'm sure i will have to sooner or later and this will make it easier.

[JustSteve]

i'm just hoping by the time it's my time they will have that pill camera perfected. just swallow and shit it out when done. i have ~15 years, come on technology.

[TomAz]

I don't see how that's gonna work though. I mean how does the pill camera look around? how does it see through shit? seems like you'd still have to cleanse your colon. which everyone here is saying is the real trauma.

[Grandma]

if sasha grey can do it anyone can

[JustSteve]

I don't see how that's gonna work though. I mean how does the pill camera look around? how does it see through shit? seems like you'd still have to cleanse your colon. which everyone here is saying is the real trauma.

like i said, they have 15 years to figure that shit out! haha.

[Lynn163]

I had one done a few years ago and just like the others are saying it's not that bad. I was fully knocked out. There was no way I was staying awake for that procedure! All I can say is make sure you have a good book handy in the bathroom...where you'll be for quite a while.

Also, good for you following through.

[Aphxtwinin]

this thread is amazing, good luck to all that will be doing this procedure soon.

[psychic friend]

no topic goes unturned on the coachella message board.

[thelastgreatman]

Especially the topic of old man assholes and their contents.

[Pixiessp]

Good thing about it though is if it's clear you don't have another one for 10 years. 10 years of not having to have a foreign object inserted in your bottom.
Feel free to run with that last statement.

[Suffacated]

There's a happy thought!

I am 39 and have had 4 or 5 of these done. They aren't that bad.

Hmmmm....
I'm 47 and I've 4 or 5 of these done a year for the last 10 years thanks to Dr. Brokendoll.
Now I realize that this may be a bit overkill but better safe than sorry.

[BROKENDOLL]

Hmmmm....
I'm 47 and I've 4 or 5 of these done a year for the last 10 years thanks to Dr. Brokendoll.
Now I realize that this may be a bit overkill but better safe than sorry.

Overkill? They would have thought I was taking Flipper from behind with all the, "Eeeee-eh-eeee-eh-eeee-eh" porpoise noises you were making during that exam, don't lie.

[fatbastard]

I hope the hospital has wireless. I'm looking forward to TomAz's post when he is not full of shit.

[Originalbob]

It's great being a woman where we get fingers in the vag and anus simultaneously every 6 months. Too bad it's not only in the bum, that would suck.

All I can think of when I see Colonoscopy is the Fisherman-Santa Clause billboards that littered our main highway for nearly a half year and how Noir commented negatively every time we saw them. I wish you luck Santa Clause! Just remember to exhale when it goes in--works for me!

[locachica73]

My doc does not stick his finger in my anus every 6 months... you might need a new doctor.

[Originalbob]

Maybe your doc is doing it wrong!

I think they check the skin layer in between the vaginal wall and anus. I get a finger in the ass everytime *shrugs* Good thing it doesn't bother me.

[locachica73]

I have had several docs and that has never happened unless I was having issues in that area... Well once when I was pregnant, my OB sent me to the hospital for an IV and the fat sweaty doc there decided to give me an anal exam. I was 19 and very unprepared. I think I cried to my mommy after.

[Neighborhood Creep]

Maybe your doc is doing it wrong!

I think they check the skin layer in between the vaginal wall and anus. I get a finger in the ass everytime *shrugs* Good thing it doesn't bother me.

Thanks for contributing to my already wild morning wood. I entered this thread to make it go away

[Stickjohn]

[amyzzz]

My doc never went there either.

[thelastgreatman]

It's great being a woman where we get fingers in the vag and anus simultaneously every 6 months.

Only every six months? Man, you're dating the wrong guys.

[TomAz]

Hmmmm....
I'm 47 and I've 4 or 5 of these done a year for the last 10 years thanks to Dr. Brokendoll.
Now I realize that this may be a bit overkill but better safe than sorry.

Taking her strap-on up the ass is not a colonoscopy.