25 COACHELLA TIPS FOR THE NEWBIE!

[tiffdud41]

just beer in the gardens

not uhh...last year I had a redbull and vodka...there was wine...and you could even have a salty margarita if you wanted--there's full bar service

prices, of course, are outrageous, but that's just part of the coachella excitement

[tiffdud41]

If you are a man, wear some of those Under Armor bike short things. Especially if you are going multiple days. The walks are long from tents to main stage, and if you are chaffed... you are hatin.

there's this great stuff called vagisil powder...yeah I know, it's a girly product, but there are manly men I know that swear by it...it'll keep those thighs chaff free, and your balls dry and silky smooth in the desert heat...heheh

[Coachellian]

if you are a female, dont forget to flirt with the guy at the lemon freezzies...go back for seconds, and share!

[instinct]

I say don't bring a jacket.. who wants to carry one in 100 degree weather..

if it gets cold at night.. just go buy one as a souvenir!

[jwill]

So what if I cant afford the tix that go on sale on saturday... Is it gonna sell out in like 2 seconds or what?? I m thinking i can buy them in Febuary orMarch will they still be around ( 3 day ) is it loud @ night @ the campgrounds or can you usaully get some shuteye... Did it sell out last year???what is capacity???

[C DUB YA]

Ok enough of that non sense

[FakePlasticMe]

Sunglasses.

[ediger]

I like to fuck a lot of chicks. Pretty much I go hunting for pussy 3-5 nights a week. Do girls actually get fucked at Coachella a lot? Should I bring a whole box of rubbers?

that made my day

[ediger]

I'm assuming they're pretty strict on IDs for the beer gardens. I really don't plan on getting drunk, but I enjoy sitting in the sun and having a beer.

[C DUB YA]

very strict on the id thing Heinekin can't have kiddies enjoying their product

[ediger]

very strict on the id thing Heinekin can't have kiddies enjoying their product

It's always strange for me when I go down to the States. I've been legal here for two and a bit years, but I'll still have about six months to go until I can drink down south by the time Coachella rolls around.

Now don't get me wrong, I can easily go the weekend and have just as good a time sober. But after a couple of years, you get accustomed to the freedoms of being legal age.

[foto_synthesis]

Quite the entertaining jibber jabber from you guys... But I have a question. I'm pale and need to find a good hat! Any suggestions for a website that sells hats? (I promise no crazy tall hats for me. This isn't disney for gods sake!)

[apachedino]

I disagree with rule 13, push the gapers that need some 2 feet of space around them and are up front out of the way, thats gready, sit in the back if your like that. And when I shove you aside to get up front don't get bent about it, i don't hate you, I just want to see the band and if I see wasted space I am gonna take it. Seriously it will be really crowded in the back and you will think it's like that throughout the whole crowd, but then midway through there will be like 10 foot islands of emptiness just begging to be taken, if you see these fill them. We came 1/2 way through robot rock for Daft Punk last year after Atmosphere and puched our way to the Iron Curtain, jumped it and found that a spacious 50 foot emptiness before pushing up front to find more. That barracade was totally unnecassary, but I am glad it was there to save me some space, cuz that show rocked.

[C DUB YA]

Well, its not a "rule", rather a tip to provide everyone with a fun-fiulled, yet harmonious experience.

Shoving your way to anything is NOT the way to do it. Sure you'll see your band but to do it in a selfish way goes against the whole Coachella fesstival vibe anyways. Save that shit for the Warped tour, cuz that's how fights break out. Out of all the Coachella's, the only fight I've ever seen was because of this reason.

Just get to where you wanna be early so the "pushing" and potential fighting is kept to a min, cool?

I understand this is thrown out when Zack and company start playing, Rage on you crazy kids.

[C DUB YA]

I say don't bring a jacket.. who wants to carry one in 100 degree weather..

if it gets cold at night.. just go buy one as a souvenir!

That's actually a very good tip, plus, you'll get that Spank Rock hoodie you've been eye-ing.

[gmoneyak]

Nice!

Here are a couple more tips -

Put sunblock EVERYWHERE. I forgot to do my toes and tops of my feet which were in sandals, and yes, I had sunburned feet. I think my forearms were sunburned too. So, sunblock everywhere that isnt covered by clothing is a must, in my opinion.

As far as hats go, get a lightweight had with a wide brim that goes all the way around to cover your ears and back of your head & neck. I recommend Outdoor Research hats. When you're not wearing it, it can be rolled or crumbled up and put into your pocket or backpack. Something like this.

Nice!! Good advice, Already trying to figure out what bring... No ins and outs during the days kinda sux..

[RATMFTW]

good tips. except for 1

as for the not pushing my way to the front.

here is my big fuck that right now. if i wanna be at the front. im gunna shove my ass all the way there

[amyzzz]

Yes to the Vagisil non-chafing cream. It does work on men too. We had that last year.

[menikmati]

I don't shower at coachella

[YouMakeMeLoseMyButtons]

guys, wash off old powder though. or you end up with what my boyfriend calls "pasteballs"

**HWA** (gagging sound)

[amyzzz]

Erik, I will sure to bring some extra baby wipes and deodorant for you then.

[algunz]

Sunday, April 23, 2006

COACHELLA: A SURVIVAL GUIDE

The big Coachella concert outside of Palm Springs, CA is coming up this weekend. I hope that this guide will help peeps have fun.

The reason I am writing this is that there are definite things you can do to make your Coachella experience better.

And we made all the mistakes you can make at Coachella '04 and survived. Barely.

The problem was that we really didn't know what we were getting into. '04 presented the perfect storm of concert evil: hellishly, hellishly hot weather, a sold-out show (for Radiohead and the Pixies), which in this case means about a hundred thousand people, and, because it was our first year, we didn't make meeting plans before people started drifting off.

If you're in a hurry, I think Tip #7 below is the most important I can possibly give you.

THE HEAT

In '04, it was about 103 when we entered the concert sometime after noon. It peaked at 106 later in the afternoon. This is hot. '05 was better, somewhere in the comparatively chilly upper nineties, at least on Saturday, if I recall correctly.

There is a huge difference between outside temperatures of 96 degrees and 106 degrees. That ten-degree span is the difference between pleasure and death. I drank ten, twelve bottles of water when it was 106 outside -- and I didn't pee once. In like ten hours. The desert air just leeches the moisture out of you when it's that hot.

Hope for the best but plan for the worst. The forecast at this point is for a high of 89 on Saturday (with showers?) and 9294 on Sunday, which would be nice. You'll still need to carefully monitor your water consumption, but it won't be as critical. So...

Tip #1: They don't let you bring water into the festival grounds.* So don't bring more than a bottle to drink as you wait in line. You'll end up having to throw it away. Instead, leave a cooler with ice and water in your car. That post-concert water will be very, very tasty later. You'll be parched. You're welcome.

*I'm sure the Goldenvoice people have their reasons for this. And it's fine if it's 90 outside. But if it's over 100, it's deeply, deeply unethical and rather troubling to take water away from people as they come in.

Tip #2: Refill your empty water bottle at water fountains inside the grounds. Buying water over and over is unnecessary and can get spendy.

The desert sun is huge and powerful and could own you if you don't take steps.

Tip #3: Don't forget your hat and sunscreen. The best hat to wear is something that blocks a ton of sun and also breathes.

These straw hats have become absolutely required for Coachella regulars in our group:



If it's a cool year, as seems likely at this point, the desert gets cold at night. It can drop into the fifties. As it is forecasted to do on Saturday night, for example. Last year I remember being quite cold in the last hour or so of the concert. It wasn't fun. Thus:

Tip #4: You may want to bring a lightweight sweatshirt or jacket for the last hour or two of the show. It'll be a gigantic pain to carry around, it's true, but sneaky people might be able to find places to stash stuff if you're not all that worried about someone nabbing it. I'll leave it up to your imagination.


THE GROUNDS AND PARKING

Finding your car in past years was really difficult. There weren't enough identifying markers to tell you where you were -- and those parking lots are very, very large. They were better about marking stuff last year, using giant numbered balloons to indicate the different lots. Still:

Tip #5: Take your time when leaving your car to figure out exactly where you are. You'll be jazzed and probably in a hurry to get in. Don't rush. Make sure everyone in your party knows at least which lot the car is in. Andy took digital pictures of the view from the car in '04; that helped us tremendously. All we had to do was to line up the trees, and voila! If no digital camera is handy, look for landmarky trees to help guide you in the dark. Also, if you have a keyless remote for your car, make liberal use of the "panic" button to help find that sucker.

The Coachella grounds are huge and you end up walking a lot as you make your way from concert to concert. Good shoes are important.

Tip #6: Don't wear sandals or flip-flops. Wear comfy sneakers. With the heat, you'll be tempted to bust out sandals for coolness. While you won't die if you do, I'd advise against it. Walking and standing take their toll on your feet and ankles. Especially if you're old, like me, you'll want some support. I'm planning on styling my old, dependable New Balances for max comfort.

GROUP COMMUNICATION AND MEETUPS

In '04, we lost Eric almost immediately. He wandered off. He had no cellphone. There were 100,000 people spread out over acres and acres of land and he was gone. We made no arrangements to meet at any central point. The next time we saw him was ten hours later at the car. We worried about him. And it sucked.

Tip #7: The very first thing you do when you get to the grounds must be to establish a default group meeting point. We tend to pick something centrally located and impossible to forget -- the chandelier, it was, last year (a big piece of weird art right in the middle of things). It's unlikely that the people you're with will want to see the exact same shows you'll want to see. Before you do anything, before people wander away, pick a spot for people to hang out between shows. Make general plans to meet fifteen minutes before a show that everyone will want to go to: for example, for us, this year, I expect that'll be bands like Animal Collective, the Go! Team, and Wolf Parade, among others (I'm super-psyched for Daft Punk).

Tip #8: Bring your cellphones and your chargers. Oh, '04 was miserable. 100,000 people trying to find their friends fried the local cell towers. You couldn't get a signal to save your life. Phones actually worked in '05, and unless Madonna packs the joint this year, I expect it to be the same way this year. Chargers are necessary because you'll kill your battery sending fifty or sixty texts a day keeping track of people and such. You can also recharge your phone (and check your email!) inside the grounds, if necessary, at the R&R tent. See here for details.

THINGS TO BRING

A handy list to consult. Later items optional.

Tip #9: In order of importance.
• Your Coachella ticket.
• Cash for food and water (ATMs available on the grounds, though).
• Sunscreen and a hat that blocks lots of suns and breathes.
• A charged cellphone.
• Sunglasses.
• Comfy shoes.
• Earplugs.
• A small backpack or messenger bag to put all of your crap in, including extra water bottles.
• A stashable light jacket or sweater.
• SPF Chapstick.
• Camera.
• Appropriate ID if you want to drink.
• Ibuprofen.
• Extra fun for nice people you meet.
• Condoms.

Okay. By popular request:

Tip #10: On Smuggling Stuff In. Expect a cursory check of your bag. Be discreet and you'll be fine. If you have more questions, think about erring on the side of "discreet."

I'll add to this guide if anyone has anything else useful. Feel free to drop me a dollar in PayPal (link at right) if you feel the love.

Thanks to psychic girl, papertiger05, and tainTTed for helpful comments and stolen ideas.

[James]

good tips. except for 1

as for the not pushing my way to the front.

here is my big fuck that right now. if i wanna be at the front. im gunna shove my ass all the way there

have fun catching my elbow in your side.

[kike_gavilan]

I'd add a towel, if you want to sit/rest on the ground, before you favorite group start playing.

[kike_gavilan]

Please you shoud keep away drugs, last year I saw a pair of pals close to me that spent bad experience with the cops, also I enjoyed view all the girls who were wearing their swim suits and bikinis (tongs as well) ;D

[C DUB YA]

have fun catching my elbow in your side.

I was trying to be civil about this - but you are a big time moron - so I'll talk to you like one.

I will beat your fucking ass if I have to!

Bring it school boy.

[James]

I was trying to be civil about this - but you are a big time moron - so I'll talk to you like one.

I will beat your fucking ass if I have to!

Bring it school boy.

WHAT I WILL MEET YOU AT THE RAGE SET AND IT WILL BE LIKE THE BULLS ARE PARADING ON YOUR HEAD! BROTHER!

[fatbastard]

Hat recommendations.

There is a Ralphs Market a couple of blocks from the parking entrance.

Gardening department of any home depot.

These are the most economical options. If your living the fancy life then try this website; http://www.sfhat.com/

I own a hat from this place but I picked it up real cheap at a Barney's outlet sale. I have worn it to every Coachella concert. It's very comfortable.

[fatbastard]

With regards to money, here is an estimate.

Friday* Rage T shirt $40.00
Friday* Coup T shirt $40.00
Friday Breakfast $10.00
Friday Water $6.00
Friday Ice Cream $4.00
Friday Lunch & drink $15.00
Friday Churro $4.00
Friday Dinner & drink $15.00
Friday Coffee/Tip $3.00
Saturday Breakfast $10.00
Saturday Water $6.00
Saturday Frozen lemonade $4.00
Saturday Lunch & drink $15.00
Saturday Ice Cream $4.00
Saturday Dinner & drink $15.00
Saturday Coffee/Tip $3.00
Sunday Breakfast $10.00
Sunday Water $6.00
Sunday Ice Cream $4.00
Sunday Lunch & drink $15.00
Sunday Quesadilla $8.00
Sunday Dinner & drink $15.00
Sunday Coffee/Tip $3.00
$255.00

*You may not want to have to carry around 2 Tshirts all day on Friday but at least you can be sure that you get what you want and the size you want.

For what it's worth.

[amyzzz]

Yes, buy all your T-shirts on Friday if at all possible because the ones you want are guaranteed to be gone by Sunday.