Ban All Los Angelians From Coachella

[guedita]

Everyone petitioning for an "IQ test" as a barometer for measuring whether or not one is able to listen to live music being performed in a crowd of other people gets a special 33% discount at Leapin Larry's Lobotomy Basement.

[Hannahrain]

I'm not sure employing a jumpy spokesman is a particularly beneficial choice for the trepanation business. Leapin' Larry's. Boasting adequate drill-point accuracy some of the time, all of the time. We may not be precise, but we sure are a lovable rag-tag crew. Now on Groupon.

[SoulDischarge]

I know a lot of people who have gone to Leapin' Larrys with the Get One Lobotomy and Your Second One's FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Groupon deal and never went back.

[guedita]

They've had a hard time relying solely on referrals from past customers, I'll tell you that much.

[Hannahrain]

See, that's the problem with these deals that involve any sort of conditional change. I bought a dual voucher for eye removal and skin inversion and realized once I'd had my eyes removed I couldn't find my way back for the skin procedure. I should've known something was up when the fine print was just a bunch of hastily-scripted Poe verse. I just wanted to be beautiful. Now birds always land on me.

[HotHamWater]

I like that strategy, though. They don't waste money on things like advertising, or disinfectant, then they pass the savings on to ME!

[guedita]

The Lobotomy Industry and the free market were a doomed romance from the very start.

[Hannahrain]

I bet there's a sweet spot in each we could drill into just a little bit to improve the relationship, though. It worked for every husband of mine it didn't kill.

[SoulDischarge]

I suppose you want Joseph Stalin giving your kids their lobotomies.

[guedita]

I'd prefer Mussolini's Lobotomy Madhouse.

[Hannahrain]

I don't know - I think Patrick's got the right idea. We just have to pair kids according to their ability to drill and their necessity for a given depth of bore.

[Hannahrain]

The appointments do run like clockwork at Mussolini's, though. There's never a wait.

[DaFunkyPrecedent]

Every single sentence in this paragraph is 100% true. Every single one.

Even where he said "The never shut up".

[Ardentbiscuit]

People from Los Angeles are the worst people in the world. They are inconsiderate. They are self absorbed. They don't care about music. The never shut up. They dress like scarecrows with racist AIDS. I hereby propose that Goldenvoice require identification showing a non-Los Angeles zipcode to purchase festival passes. We can do this. Take back the night.

You can't exclude Goldenvoice's entire target audience. First of all, the Sahara would be empty. Second, we would never hear levels. 3rd, there would be no F list or lower celebrity sightings. 4th, there would be nothing to complain about on the forum. Etc.

[matt0947]

Uhh sorry to say... But this is immature as fuck. Really sad post. Why should people from LA be banned from going to Coachella? Just because we are different? I thought Coachella was meant to be a fun family environment, not some kind of environment that excludes a certain group of people... Sad.... Just sad.

[nathanfairchild]

tell us more, matt.

[matt0947]

tell us more, matt.

Nothing else to say. Just saying that this post is really immature. Also if Goldenvoice were to ban every single person from LA that would just cause major controversy and annoying media attention, which I'm sure they do not want deal with. One more thing... If you do not like people from LA who go to Coachella, why bother going? It's not like Goldenvoice will actually ban us from going.. Sorry.. another thing, Goldenvoice is also hq'd here in Los Angeles, so banning "Los Angelians" would just make absolutely no sense. Anyways yeah. I'm doing ranting... I have like... a bad use of words lol.

[bananahambone]

[ThatGirl]

Oh dear.

[Neighborhood Creep]

*face palm*

[theklein25]

worst thread on the board for way too many different reasons

[high5sareawesome]

Everyone petitioning for an "IQ test" as a barometer for measuring whether or not one is able to listen to live music being performed in a crowd of other people gets a special 33% discount at Leapin Larry's Lobotomy Basement.

My favorite post of this entire bullshit thread.

[ods..]

would people really care about Flying Lotus if he didn't get the Thom Yorke seal of approval?

Possibly the dumbest thing nathan's ever said.

[ApacheRunner]

matt's just a big eater of bags filled with dicks...

[TomAz]

Nothing else to say. Just saying that this post is really immature. Also if Goldenvoice were to ban every single person from LA that would just cause major controversy and annoying media attention, which I'm sure they do not want deal with. One more thing... If you do not like people from LA who go to Coachella, why bother going? It's not like Goldenvoice will actually ban us from going.. Sorry.. another thing, Goldenvoice is also hq'd here in Los Angeles, so banning "Los Angelians" would just make absolutely no sense. Anyways yeah. I'm doing ranting... I have like... a bad use of words lol.

worst thread on the board for way too many different reasons

No, this is a truly great thread, for reasons evidenced above.

[guedita]

matt. I think we're going to like you, matt.

[grannock]

You already scared him away like josesativa and nicko. You must learn to play with your food, like a cat.

[TomAz]

I don't think the fault lies with guedita. But your point is well taken.

[ShowScoop]

I just wasted 10 minutes reading this thread. I feel shame. But kinda wish there was more

[PotVsKtl]