It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

[chiapet]

Listen to Dale and not all the guys telling you it would be weird. I don't think a message board is the best place to seek advice on this. It's not a stretch to say that a lot of people spending their whole day playing on the internet are just a bit socially awkward and that their reactions in these social situations are not typical.

While I fucking suck at hitting on people, I think I'm pretty good at putting people to ease and getting them to talk, when I want to. As you said, you have mutual friends and interests that are a reason to approach these guys in the first place. Get them talking on a subject that interests them (should be easy at SXSW, right?). If you find what they are saying, TELL THEM. It's as simple as saying that's interesting / that's cool / etc, and 1) letting them know they're not boring you to death, and 2) flattering them a bit by being impressed by their tastes / knowledge / etc if appropriate. Once you are sure the guy is interested in having a conversation with you, it's easy enough to get a date-like situation out of it: I've really enjoyed hanging out with you, would you like to get a drink later? dinner tomorrow? etc.

[MoSetsfire]

Listen to Dale and not all the guys telling you it would be weird. I don't think a message board is the best place to seek advise on this. It's not a stretch to say that a lot of people spending their whole day playing on the internet are just a bit socially awkward and that their reactions in these social situations are not typical.

While I fucking suck at hitting on people, I think I'm pretty good at putting people to ease and getting them to talk, when I want to. As you said, you have mutual friends and interests that are a reason to approach these guys in the first place. Get them talking on a subject that interests them (should be easy at SXSW, right?). If you find what they are saying, TELL THEM. It's as simple as saying that's interesting / that's cool / etc, and 1) letting them know they're not boring you to death, and 2) flattering them a bit by being impressed by their tastes / knowledge / etc if appropriate. Once you are sure the guy is interested in having a conversation with you, it's easy enough to get a date-like situation out of it: I've really enjoyed hanging out with you, would you like to get a drink later? dinner tomorrow? etc.

In all fairness I mostly use this board to avoid working.

[Gribbz]

Dale is like Coachella Yoda right now.

Listen to Dale and not all the guys telling you it would be weird.

*Cough*

[OnlyNonStranger]

This is the greatest day of your life, isn't it gribbz?

[Gribbz]

This is the greatest day of your life, isn't it gribbz?

I think I'm just stating the obvious. When a girl keeps giving you looks she's most likely interested.

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone explaining all of this.

[guedita]

I stare at people all the time and it's not usually because I'm interested. It's because I'm disgusted.

[GuyInTucson]

I meant offended as in...my physical appearance makes their dicks go limp.

[kitt kat]

Ugh, it's NOT FISHING! I just don't think the guys I'm attracted to are the kind of guys who would find someone like me attractive. I only ever get hit on by cholos.

[guedita]

I only ever get hit on by nerdy hipster types when I'm secretly pining after the cholos at the end of the bar. It's a rough life.

[MoSetsfire]

we need a new picture thread. some one not me needs to start it.

[Tubesock Shakur]

post nudez and I will tell you the truth.

[Tubesock Shakur]

I only ever get hit on by nerdy hipster types when I'm secretly pining after the cholos at the end of the bar. It's a rough life.

You mean cholas?

[IceyHotshot]

we need a new picture thread. some one not me needs to start it.

The one we have already works fine...

[Gribbz]

J$$$, just tell these guys to stop being pussies.

[guedita]

You mean cholas?

I actually meant churros.

[Tubesock Shakur]

Rack city.

[westcoastpirate]

I stare at people all the time and it's not usually because I'm interested. It's because I'm disgusted.

I only ever get hit on by nerdy hipster types when I'm secretly pining after the cholos at the end of the bar. It's a rough life.

Pure gold.

[westcoastpirate]

I actually meant churros.

I just shot water out of my nose.

[stuporfly]

I think I'm just stating the obvious. When a girl keeps looking at you she's interested.

Or you have food in your teeth.

I obviously know nothing about how these interactions play out for you in real life, Kat, but if you come off half as fatalistic when you go up to a guy as you've made it seem in this thread, that could be part of the problem. The confidence Matt mentioned is probably about more than just having the courage to sidle up to someone and start a conversation. If you give off a vibe that you're worried your "physical appearance makes their dick go limp," it might be difficult for a fellow to know you're into him, whether he's picking up on your exact concern or not.

No one is attractive to everyone, so it's a gamble. But aside from a steady flow of oversized sunglasses remarks, I think plenty of people around here have let you know they think you're easy on the eyes when you post pictures. If you can own that a bit more and approach an eligible gentleman with a comfortable confidence, you might have better luck.

[Alchemy]

The problem might be that when Kat approaches guys she starts with, "Oh god, I've made your dick limp, I'm sorry! Look away! I'm hideous!!!"

[kitt kat]

The problem might be that when Kat approaches guys she starts with, "Oh god, I've made your dick limp, I'm sorry! Look away! I'm hideous!!!"

No, because I never go up and talk to guys. When guys have approached me in the past, I usually freeze up and look at the floor and act kind of rude/disinterested usually because 1. I'm not interested 2. I am mortified

[Gribbz]

I obviously know nothing about how these interactions play out for you in real life, Kat, but if you come off half as fatalistic when you go up to a guy as you've made it seem in this thread, that could be part of the problem. The confidence Matt mentioned is probably about more than just having the courage to sidle up to someone and start a conversation. If you give off a vibe that you're worried your "physical appearance makes their dick go limp," it might be difficult for a fellow to know you're into him, whether he's picking up on your exact concern or not.

No one is attractive to everyone, so it's a gamble. But aside from a steady flow of oversized sunglasses remarks, I think plenty of people around here have let you know they think you're easy on the eyes when you post pictures. If you can own that a bit more and approach an eligible gentleman with a comfortable confidence, you might have better luck.

The problem might be that when Kat approaches guys she starts with, "Oh god, I've made your dick limp, I'm sorry! Look away! I'm hideous!!!"

x100000000000000000000000000000000000

[lt.roast.a.botch]

ah limp dick. either too much whiskey/drugs or lack of chemistry.

[frizzlefry]

I was going to be one of those assholes that spouts "Shutup and just talk to those guys stupid cute girl" but then I just remembered I probably sent similar messages of repulsion to a cute girl at a party very recently. She started a conversation with me and there was definitely some chemistry but then drugs were involved on my part which made me paranoid and awkward. The more I think about it the more I realized I very awkwardly shied (nearly ran) away from what had to be a direct come-on...I just got so embarrassed. I bet she was put off by that if not a little hurt. And of course when it came time to say goodbye I failed that miserably even though I was pretty sober, I didn't ask for a number or anything just a quick required hug, she must have known that I was intoxicated but I;m sure that didn't help her ego at all. So yeah don't be dismayed if a couple guys seem perturbed by your presence if you are a cute female, (which you are, get over it) I would likely pin it on a myriad of stupid reasons on our part: we're awkward idiots, we're fucked up (if at a party or concert), or we simply are misreading any signs sent by you, or god forbid there wasn't any chemistry. I think you're opinion of men is terribly low as well, I would hope that I can speak for most men and say that we won't run away from you or insult you upon contact if we don't find you extremely attractive, maybe I'm just an idealist though.

[GuyInTucson]

Ugh, it's NOT FISHING! I just don't think the guys I'm attracted to are the kind of guys who would find someone like me attractive. I only ever get hit on by cholos.

Ok but what is "someone like me"?

I mean, if you aren't fishing for compliments then I take it you are an insecure girl who overthinks when it comes to guys.

[kitt kat]

Ok but what is "someone like me"?

Meaning not tall/big boobed/blonde/stylish/thin and instead opinionated/angry/homely.

[chiapet]

Oh, christ, you're horrible, Kat. The reason guys aren't responding to you is not because you're ugly but because your attitude is horrible.

Honestly if you did not approach this with such a terrible attitude, you would do just fine.

[Alchemy]

No, because I never go up and talk to guys. When guys have approached me in the past, I usually freeze up and look at the floor and act kind of rude/disinterested usually because 1. I'm not interested 2. I am mortified

It is perfectly fine to act disinterested when you are not interested.

It is also normal to blush, trip over your words, or hit a blank here and there when being approached by somebody. If you experience a feeling that is more intense than that, you are probably suffering from some kind of anxiety issue. In fact, I will go ahead and diagnose you with that right now - which is official in the country of Mexico. You should greet this as good news, because it is not as bad as having a Lovecraftian appearance that sends mens' penises into madness - as you seem to think you do.

I recommend that you talk with these cholos so that you may build your social confidence. After all, there aren't many people more frightening than cholos.

[GuyInTucson]

Oh, christ, you're horrible, Kat. The reason guys aren't responding to you is not because you're ugly but because your attitude is horrible.

Honestly if you did not approach this with such a terrible attitude, you would do just fine.

Totally agree. I just now saw this girl's pic in the picture thread and I honestly don't know why in the fuck she says she's unattractive. It's also why there is a side of me that thinks she's fishing for someone to tell her what she wants to hear on here.

[Alchemy]

Meaning not tall/big boobed/blonde/stylish/thin and instead opinionated/angry/homely.

I am more of an average height/butt is much more important than boobs/brunette/stylish/thin fan.