this phenomenon is known as "SAHD" (Stay At Home Dad) and they even have a quarterly newsletter and support groups in the New York area where it's most prevalent. Article is in the new GQ (Fassbender cover) or maybe Details (Chris Hemsworth cover). I don't remember which since we have both in the crapper.
The woman making more money shouldn't be a big deal. You should be happy there is more money for the family in the first place.
However, much of the loss of masculinity can come from the change in roles.
If your wife is the one negotiating for the new car, handling the finances, making the major family decisions, etc, then it can make the man feel like his role has been degraded or redefined.
That's not to say the man should be doing all of these things if he's terrible at them and his wife is good at them, but it also means that a woman making more than her husband shouldn't just suddenly heap the financial-type decisions upon her shoulders, because THAT is more likely to create resentment.
Everybody Wang Chung tonight.
there's nothing like that moment where you're making out for the first time. he lays you down and softly cradles your neck and you quickly clench your fist to punch him in the face becuase him toucing your neck obviously means he's about to kill yhou and you need to punch him out. god what's wrong with me.
That may never go away, Ivy. It sucks. There are certain things my husband knows not to do.
That self-preservation instinct sucks sometimes.
Saving face... one blowjob at a time.
Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.
I have no negative history with choking, but it's still not a regular thing in my repertoire.
So, for the folks who have/are dated/dating someone they met online who either originally lived or is still living a considerable but not insurmountable distance away from you, what did you do suggest doing as the basis for meeting that person? Like, "hey, this movie is showing at this theater halfway between where you live and where I live, we should go see it." or something else?
I'm fucking clueless at this (as I am at most things).
Yes. Suggest a halfway point.
1) When/why did you move to Bellingham?
2) Where does the person you are dating live?
meeting suggests to me this is new.
halfway point is good, look for other things to do in the area as well. also, isn't a movie one of those bad 1st date ventures?
also also, where have you been, or have I just not seen you here? hmm.
To be honest, online dating blows. I can credit that fact for motivating me to meet women more naturally.
Also, Passive, do whatever works for both of you. If she wants an excuse to visit San Diego then let her come there, or meet half way, or meet somewhere interesting you'd both like to go to, or go where she's at, or whatever else. Just talk it out and figure it out, there's no one way to meet up. But don't have either of you travel a long distance just to quietly sit at a movie together unless it's part of a larger plans.
If the distance is a problem then the distance is a problem. If it isn't then don't treat it like one. We're talking about an hour drive (depending on traffic and what part of SD you are in).
If you are the one suggesting meeting up (like roo I am assuming this is for the first time) then I'd say the onus is on you to drive up there. Suggest dinner (or brunch or lunch) at a place (possibly even one she has mentioned) and another activity you would like to do. I wouldn't go for a movie but live theater or a museum could work, or you could go bowling or shoot pool, sing karaoke... depending on what you like/what she has said she likes/what is available in Murietta/nearby.
Certainly tell her that you like her and that you want to meet/hang out in person.
If that didn't work I might try suggesting she come to SD for some weekend daytime event, giving her a chance to at least plan to drive back before too late.
If she isn't interested in meeting in person (which doesn't mean saying no to one of these but several and not countering with alternatives) then move on.
2014 Collaborative Playlist on Spotify.
I wrote out a joke in response to what Bryan posted about this girl putting her fist in my ass but it was awful, so let's move on.
To answer Courtney and everyone else, yes this is relatively recent. I contacted her over a week ago, we started messaging each other regularly and then she gave me her number a few days ago and we've been texting back and forth since then.
And the consensus seems to be "find something(s) to do that are fun but not a movie" which is fine because I'm not set on movie dates any way. I did see that there's a record store in Temecula that looks neat, but that would have to be either an aside or for the drive back or whatever. She half-heartedly collects records and I can't think of a worse way to spend time getting to know someone than standing awkwardly nearby while they rifle through vinyl... Unless that has actually worked for anyone before. (If so, stories?)
If she likes video games, maybe you could do something fun and a little silly like going to an arcade? I also like mini golf, bowling (as mentioned above), and aquariums -- basically anything that will take the pressure off feeling like you need to have a deep conversation, while still allowing you to interact and chat. I would avoid a record store because I think anyone who frequents the Coachella message board is probably going to be significantly more into records than most regular folks, and so you will inevitably end up geeking out about music stuff and she will feel out of her element and it will be awkward.
Well I never specified that I hadn't met her before, so it's alright Courtney. Also, going to an arcade sounds like a killer idea. Thanks!
I have different advice--you should drive absolutely anywhere she wants, because you literally couldn't be less attractive.