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Thread: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

  1. #13501
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    And, bitches, don't kid yourselves! We were at the HUSTLER Store the other night and any one of us can be replaced with the fleshlight, ass-end of a female for a mere $179.00.
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  2. #13502
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Fleshlights are that expensive? Just fuck the couch cushions.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  3. #13503
    Member Godspeed's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    Fleshlights are that expensive? Just fuck the couch cushions.
    I just spit water onto my desk. Hilarious!
    Quote Originally Posted by GuyInTucson View Post
    Jesus fucking Christ, who the hell is this Godspeed asshole?

  4. #13504
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Trying. Hard.

  5. #13505
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    Fleshlights are that expensive? Just fuck the couch cushions.
    Quote Originally Posted by JustSteve View Post
    Trying. Hard.
    When you're done trying, be sure to at least flip the cushions so the wife doesn't find out.
    And yes, fleshlights are pricey depending upon the model. The ass and legs came with two openings and pretty toenails painted on. Then there was the torso-fuck where the tits had a hole between them...For someone with a limited budget and a huge imagination, you could probably get by with the simple fleshlight tube for like $39.99.
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  6. #13506

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Got a date (cha-cha), got a date, got a date, can’t be late, I guess I can be late, but don’t want to be late, for the date, for the date.

    Exchanging mix CDs like teenagers. She wears cute fruit design pieces on top of her nail polish. Mexican food. And I’ve got a boner.
    The pilgrimage is not perfected save by copulation with the camel.

  7. #13507
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    did everyone's dating life become amazing all of a sudden?

    bored at work here, entertain me people!
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    10/21 Superhumanoids - 10/23 IAMX@Glass House - 10/24 Placebo@Club Nokia - 10/25 Beach Goth@Observatory - 10/26 IAMX@Complex - 10/27 Tycho/Com Truise@Glass House - 10/28 Bear Hands@Roxy - 10/31 Yelle@Fonda - 11/3 Galantis/Booka Shade@Mayan - 11/8 Digitalism@El Rey - 11/14 DFA1979@Regent - 11/15 The Presets@Regent

  8. #13508
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Or non existent.

  9. #13509
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I closed my OKcupid account a few weeks ago, but forgot the POF account. Today I got an email from a guy, out of curiosity I logged in to see if he was decent or had more than 2 words to say in the email, neither were the case. I logged out and got 3 more email notifications. All they had to say is "whatup", "long time no see cutie" and "hi". The second one came from a guy who is only 5' tall. So even though he reached the 2 word minimum, he didn't meet the height requirements. I cancelled the account after that. I give up, I think I am going to just continue sleeping with the ex until I can afford to move out of state.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  10. #13510

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by JorgeC View Post
    did everyone's dating life become amazing all of a sudden?

    bored at work here, entertain me people!
    I have a first date on Sunday. I'll tell you about it at Austra. But you have to promise to dance with me.

  11. #13511
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Icey.....dances?

    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival
    10/22: Roman Flugel @ f8
    10/25: Moodymann @ PW
    11/20: The Drive by Truckers, Sturgill Simpson @ The Fillmore

  12. #13512
    old school SepaGroove's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    I give up, I think I am going to just continue sleeping with the ex until I can afford to move out of state.
    Just out of curiosity, how is that going to solve anything?

  13. #13513
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    A new start, the dating pool around here is pretty bad, or so it seems. I just don't want to go through the process of looking anymore, at least not here.

    I will probably get to the age where I am no longer interested in dating first though.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  14. #13514
    old school SepaGroove's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I see. Yeah maybe a fresh start in a new environment is what you need.

  15. #13515
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I thought about deactivating my OKC account, but sometimes the cheesy messages make me laugh.

    A bit ago, I mentioned liking someone who lives too far away. We met in the beginning of this year when I was visiting home, and have been talking a lot recently. We'll be meeting up in New Orleans in a few months. We both realize that there's no way that it'll work out in the long run, but we might as well have fun with it anyways, right?

  16. #13516
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I agree, fun never hurt anyone. That has been my motto for the last 10 years.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  17. #13517

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Besides, what better place to have fun with it than New Orleans?

  18. #13518
    old school unit300021's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I haven't deactivated my OKC account but I also haven't been on it in weeks. Not true this motivated me and I quickly just logged on. But yeah I just decided right now I'm not in the best position to be dating so i'm taking care of myself before I start dating again. I also thank and blame Audra (I think) for starting the whole debate that led me to realize this.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Why aren't there more good role models for fat people who fall down a lot?

  19. #13519
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    BOOOOORING

    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival
    10/22: Roman Flugel @ f8
    10/25: Moodymann @ PW
    11/20: The Drive by Truckers, Sturgill Simpson @ The Fillmore

  20. #13520
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    You are welcome, and I am sorry.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  21. #13521
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    I agree, fun never hurt anyone. That has been my motto for the last 10 years.
    Fun has hurt tons of people, and fun. has definitely personally hurt me in the earholes.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  22. #13522
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    That's a good point, but sexy fun rarely hurts, unless you are doing it wrong.

    Other reason I have given up:

    I gave my number to a guy awhile back before I realized he lived too far away for me to date. He seemed like a nice guy, and according to his profile was a doctor. He invited me on a date but I just couldn't agree to meet someone that lived so far away. He informed me he would be worth it, but I didn't respond because a 40 minute commute is too far for booty. The next text said "do you have big tits?", I still didn't respond so then I got another saying "I'm so horny". I have continued to ignore him but now every few days I get a text asking what I am doing tonight. Apparently he forgets that I have already turned him down multiple times.

    I have also been contacted by 2 exes on facebook who I dated years ago. We emailed back and forth and I told them both that if they wanted to meet up for a beer sometime then to let me know. Since then the only time they contact me is after midnight asking what I am up to. I don't mind the occasional booty call, I am not going to jump right into a booty call situation with someone I haven't seen in 4+ years though.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  23. #13523
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Sexy fun spreads disease.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  24. #13524
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    Sexy fun spreads disease.
    Good thing I have my full check up and annual STD test coming up.

  25. #13525
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I got a chlamydia test yesterday when I was at the doctor because why not.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  26. #13526
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Hey, the conversation just headed towards what I was going to post anyway.

    This guy on a phone cruising app messaged me. We talked before and he was talking about all the nasty things he was going to do to me and kind of late in the game he finally mentions he's HIV positive. So after some mulling it over, I decide to tell him that I'm willing to get to know him but am not interested in a casual hook up with someone who I know to be HIV positive.

    So I was in Pittsburgh last weekend for 2 nights and didn't really have anywhere to stay, so I ended up getting a room at the bath house to sleep at. One of the reasons I was going was to go to a (non-sex) party at a separate area of the bath house that was gay themed but had a mixed crowd. So I checked into the place on the app. When I get home, I get a message from that guy that says: "did you know that Pitsburgh is actually the highest rate of std transmission in the country..........I bet that bath house is a good place to get something." I didn't respond and figured I'd give the guy the benefit of the doubt that he wasn't telling me that just to be a spiteful prick, but then a day later he sent me another message "funny no comment. .. ha ha"

    In summation, I hate homos. I hate people. I wish I could just be with my bf.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  27. #13527
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Maybe he was trying to be informative? Tone is hard to gauge.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  28. #13528
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    P.S. I don't have chlamydia.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  29. #13529
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I was going to assume he was until that follow up comment. It has to suck dating with HIV and I hope I never have to experience that, but you should at least be respectful of other people's decision to not want to have anonymous sex with you if you're positive.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  30. #13530
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    you could easily be a snarky dick back at him, but sounds like it's better to just move on.

    Yay for no chlamydia!
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    10/21 Superhumanoids - 10/23 IAMX@Glass House - 10/24 Placebo@Club Nokia - 10/25 Beach Goth@Observatory - 10/26 IAMX@Complex - 10/27 Tycho/Com Truise@Glass House - 10/28 Bear Hands@Roxy - 10/31 Yelle@Fonda - 11/3 Galantis/Booka Shade@Mayan - 11/8 Digitalism@El Rey - 11/14 DFA1979@Regent - 11/15 The Presets@Regent

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