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Thread: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

  1. #12601

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I understand that with online dating you are going to send messages, receive promising messages, receive phone numbers, text around, talk about meeting up, pick a day (i.e. tonight), and then stop hearing from the other person. But it still sucks.

  2. #12602
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by xuclarockerx View Post
    I understand that with online dating you are going to send messages, receive promising messages, receive phone numbers, text around, talk about meeting up, pick a day (i.e. tonight), and then stop hearing from the other person. But it still sucks.
    Maybe she had an emergency of some sort? Don't write her off yet.

    Curious though, how long do you talk back and forth before exchanging phone numbers and make a plan to meet? I usually leave that up to the guy, but it seems like a lot of guys just want a pen pal they can continually message back and forth with, but never want to take the next step. I was talking to a guy for about 2 weeks now and finally just got bored and stopped responding.
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  3. #12603
    Member NachoCat's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Going on a date with a divorced stripper with a kid this Friday. She also lives 45 min away from me.

    Good choices.

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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by xuclarockerx View Post
    I understand that with online dating you are going to send messages, receive promising messages, receive phone numbers, text around, talk about meeting up, pick a day (i.e. tonight), and then stop hearing from the other person. But it still sucks.
    I've never experienced that. What's it like?
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  5. #12605
    Entry level Alt kitt kat's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Ugh. These texts from him:

    HIM: Sorry just feeling bad and didn't want to project it.

    ME: I am here for you.

    HIM: I know. And I know you need me too and I'm sorry I'm not the man and boyfriend I should be.

    ME: You have the power to change. The ball is in your court. The man I love is there underneath all this. You just need help digging him out and I'm bad at digging.


    Honestly, he knows what he needs to do. I just can't understand what's holding him back. He keeps saying he doesn't want to lose me or ruin the relationship; to him, the relationship is "the best thing that's ever happened to [him]" (his words, several times). If it's so amazing for him, why would he effectively ruin it?!

  6. #12606
    old school unit300021's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by kitt kat View Post
    My only hope with that is maybe his parents can stage some sort of intervention...? Or offer to assist him financially with therapy? I'm going to be gone this weekend. It would be the perfect time for them to drive down from Ventura Co. to come see him. I dunno. I just don't know if telling her, "Hey your son is really fucking depressed" would be kind/the right thing or completely out of bounds as the girlfriend.
    Unless if you think he really is suicidal I would leave his parents out of it. I know when I went through my depression my parents where the last people I wanted to tell and have try to help me. I don't know but having your parents know you are depressed just felt like it made me even more depressed if they knew I was depressed. That is at least my experience with it. I eventually told them but I did it on my terms, I would have hated for them to find out from someone else.

    Quote Originally Posted by kitt kat View Post
    This is what I've been trying to tell him. It's always met with an excuse: "I can't miss work to go to therapy." (My therapist sees people until 8PM and on weekends! He can find one that does late meetings, too.) "It won't work for me." (You can't say that until you try.)
    Again when I went through my depression I hated my first two therapist and went a really long time without going to one. But if you have a bad experience and you are depressed you will make any excuse necessary to avoid going to one. I probably went about 6 months with out seeing a therapist until I was talking with my brother, who had some issues of his own, and he just calmly recommend I try the therapist he used. I did and I really liked him and he helped me out a lot. Ironically though the therapist ended up being the dad of a childhood friend whose parents divorced when he was a young kid.

    Point is as long as you don't think he is suicidal you just have to let him figure it out on his own to get help. You can't really force him to do it without more then likely making things worse. Can't help those who don't want to be helped.
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  7. #12607
    Entry level Alt kitt kat's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I'm going to give him this week(end) while I'm gone to make a move. If he gets help, good. I'll be thrilled and thankful and so proud of him.

    If he doesn't, then it's probably time to start moving on. I can't deal with this anymore. I've gotten absolutely NOTHING done today beacuse I've been worrying about HIM.

  8. #12608
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Well said, xucla. Katt, sometimes people need time and space to figure things out. It does suck to have wait on the sidelines in the meantime, but you have to decide whether he means enough to you as a partner and if so be patient. If not, still be there as a friend. Feeling abandoned in the middle of all this could make him consider those unfortunate options more seriously.
    Last edited by algunz; 05-02-2013 at 02:40 PM.

  9. #12609
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    You shouldn't feel obligated to stick with him on the off chance that "being abandoned in the middle of all this could make him consider those unfortunate options more seriously."
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  10. #12610
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Katt obviously cares about him. No, she shouldn't feel obligated, but as a friend you never walk away when a friend shows signs of genuine depression and possible suicidal thoughts.

  11. #12611
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Call his bluff

  12. #12612
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    Katt obviously cares about him. No, she shouldn't feel obligated, but as a friend you never walk away when a friend shows signs of genuine depression and possible suicidal thoughts.
    You don't walk away but she also doesn't have to keep giving him open access to her vagina.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  13. #12613
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Can't argue that.

  14. #12614

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    Maybe she had an emergency of some sort? Don't write her off yet.

    Curious though, how long do you talk back and forth before exchanging phone numbers and make a plan to meet? I usually leave that up to the guy, but it seems like a lot of guys just want a pen pal they can continually message back and forth with, but never want to take the next step. I was talking to a guy for about 2 weeks now and finally just got bored and stopped responding.
    I am totally of the mindset that messaging around is a waste of time and a meeting should be arranged ASAP. I met up with someone last Saturday after messaging for like a week and a half. (Didn't go anywhere.)

    This girl responded to me on the 22nd, I had her number by the 25th. A meetup wasn't possible over the weekend but we texted, traded pics, etc. On Sunday she said Thursday was good for her...yesterday afternoon I text a time and place. She doesn't respond until late saying she just got out of work and "i think i can do 8 but can i get back to you in the morning to be sure? i'm so sleepy i feel like i'm forgetting something!" i text her back this morning, haven't heard from her since. She was cute too

  15. #12615
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    xuclarockerx: have any of your online dates led to second dates?

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  16. #12616
    old school unit300021's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    What I don't get about sending messages to girls is how I almost never get a response from the messages I take my time to actually write up and send, but the stupid two sentence messages almost always get responses. For instance the last girl I went on a date with from online user name was LosingMyEdge3453235423 whatever number it was. Literally all the message was my favorite line from that song. Are short stupid messages the way to go?
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Why aren't there more good role models for fat people who fall down a lot?

  17. #12617
    Entry level Alt kitt kat's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    You shouldn't feel obligated to stick with him on the off chance that "being abandoned in the middle of all this could make him consider those unfortunate options more seriously."
    Yeah, totally true. But I really do care about him and I would love to stay with him. Like I said, the ball is in his court and he has the chance to do what he needs to do. I'm willing to give him a week (I told him this) and if he doesn't do anything, I am considering a break until he comes back to me having received help, etc.

  18. #12618
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    xuclarockerx: have any of your online dates led to second dates?
    I don't think he's even had a first date

  19. #12619
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by unit300021 View Post
    What I don't get about sending messages to girls is how I almost never get a response from the messages I take my time to actually write up and send, but the stupid two sentence messages almost always get responses. For instance the last girl I went on a date with from online user name was LosingMyEdge3453235423 whatever number it was. Literally all the message was my favorite line from that song. Are short stupid messages the way to go?

    Yes.

    Online dating is like looking at these profiles to imagine your dream life with them, then you discover they like olives and you think "fuck that bitch, she's disgusting"

    So with that in mind as a generalization of online dating: Writing them a thoughtful paragraph will more likely scare them away, a quick chuckle or common ground with a lame lyric is a much easier way to seduce a lady of the internet.

    Memes and smiley faces go a long way also

    Keep in mind, if you meet them in person, your goal is to stick them within 2 more dates or you're in the friend zone.

  20. #12620
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Mugwog View Post
    I don't think he's even had a first date
    Dude. He had one at Coachella. They stood awkwardly during a set and then parted ways.

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  21. #12621
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Was she an online date though?

    EDIT:
    I'm sorry for your Coachella date/whatever not lasting UCLA; there's something wrong with bringing a person you're starting to date to a festival like that. I've learned from that after doing it twice.

  22. #12622
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Yes!

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  23. #12623
    old school unit300021's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Mugwog View Post
    EDIT:
    I'm sorry for your Coachella date/whatever not lasting UCLA; there's something wrong with bringing a person you're starting to date to a festival like that. I've learned from that after doing it twice.
    He didn't bring her there they met there. Like they both went and planned to meet there at a set.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Why aren't there more good role models for fat people who fall down a lot?

  24. #12624
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Whoa. That's....just wow.

    UCLA - what happened to Coachella date?

    I got over online dating really fast after people didn't want to do anything but pussyfoot through text and emails. I have much more success being a creep at festivals.

  25. #12625
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    It wasn't even in a beer garden and he didn't even shove pills in her mouth!

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  26. #12626
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by unit300021 View Post
    He didn't bring her there they met there. Like they both went and planned to meet there at a set.
    Awww....man, should have been all into her instead of the online awkward guy. If you don't show her any interest, she's going to think you're not interested.

    You're also in LA so...the online dating world here seems more unrealistic than anywhere else. People post headshots for their dating profile. Then you read how they write....

  27. #12627
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    It wasn't even in a beer garden and he didn't even shove pills in her mouth!
    Never propose to meet up with anyone unless you're going to get them a little inebriated. That's just tasteless showing up without drugs.

  28. #12628
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Guedi, what's your best date ever? Meaning, what are the best pills that have ever been shoved in your mouth?




    Also, just to cycle back to the other thread--have you ever had someone shove the pills up your ass?
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  29. #12629
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Would shoving pills up your ass with the intent of getting really high make you possibly gay?

  30. #12630
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Depends on the pills and the frequency. I can tell you the one time I stuck ecstasy up my ass... my ass felt a lot more interesting than I was accustomed to.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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