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Thread: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

  1. #12451
    old school unit300021's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Don't worry. Your cousin is going to come in and ruin it for you. If she doesn't then your blow job lady might come over at the wrong time. And how somehow if that still doesn't do anything then her wanting to talk to you while you are in the bathroom certainly will.

    Sorry but I had to, wait I'm not sorry at all, but I still had to.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Why aren't there more good role models for fat people who fall down a lot?

  2. #12452

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by unit300021 View Post
    Don't worry. Your cousin is going to come in and ruin it for you. If she doesn't then your blow job lady might come over at the wrong time. And how somehow if that still doesn't do anything then her wanting to talk to you while you are in the bathroom certainly will.

    Sorry but I had to, wait I'm not sorry at all, but I still had to.
    None of them have access to the Palm Springs location.
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  3. #12453
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    How much does Coachella girl run?
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  4. #12454

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    How much does Coachella girl run?
    http://www.coachella.com/forum/showt...Only&p=2711360
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  5. #12455
    Dark Lord mountmccabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    How much does Coachella girl run?
    At least 8 miles each weekend and usually 5-7 miles over the week.
    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    See how wrong you are, Tommy? Randy is agreeing with you.

  6. #12456

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    My first ever disaster letting a strange chick stay here.

    This chick shows back up totally wasted almost carried in by this dude who thought it was his lucky night but I told him to get lost.

    She staggered straight for the bathroom but it was occupied. She went out on the patio. She staggers back in a few minutes later and heads straight for my room. My friend comes out of the restroom and goes outside to smoke a cigarette. He starts screaming. I go out there to see what the problem was. Apparently she took a big shit right on the patio and he stepped right in it!

    I go back in to try to minimize any possible damage to the property. I go in the room and she tackles me into the bed, opens my jeans and starts blowing me, sloppily, toothily, painful. I yell "OW" and she looks up and says "you're not Simon!"

    She starts screaming at me and I say "He left, he said you were too messed up and smelled bad"

    She is now passed out in the bed (actually my mom's bed!) smelling like shit and vomit. I ended up sleeping on the floor and not really sleeping. I am going to have to try to roust her and get off to the Polo Grounds.

    Good thing she ain't coming back after tonight.
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  7. #12457
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I guess I'm in a long distance relationship again. My friend broke up with his boyfriend after I came down to visit him in Miami and wants to figure out a way to be with me (we both hate our respective living situations and cities and want to live in a big city). It's going to be a huge hassle to work out and is going to take a ton of time, but fuck, I'm pretty happy. I'm amazed at how much he loves me, which is obvious just by the way he looks at me, and we just get on so fucking well when we're together. The realities of an honest to god relationship are a little intimidating, but I'm excited to try, whenever it happens.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  8. #12458
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    This is awesome news, SD.

  9. #12459

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Another boring story from xuclarockerx: Met up with someone from OKCupid on Sunday night, W1. My first OKC meet actually. I was coming from Vampire Weekend, she was coming from La Roux which finished late I think. That kind of threw things off I think and I had to eat really fast/didn't finish some of my food but whatever. We met at the Yuma food court and went to see The Faint. As expected I wasn't that attracted to her but I went with it anyway. The Faint was much better than expected but I didn't alter my plans and politely left to see the end of Nick Cave. Told her I'd text her for Eric Prydz...didn't. Oops. Oh well, a little practice meeting new people didn't hurt.

  10. #12460
    Coachella Junkie getbetter's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Awesome Patrick ! I am very happy for you.

    Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's 04/26/15
    Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch 05/02-04/14
    The Decemberist @ Crystal Ballroom 05/30/14
    Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds @ The Warfield 07/07/14


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    Quote Originally Posted by psychic friend View Post
    thanks for whatever you did in mexico.



  11. #12461
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Xuclarockerx, Coachella seems like a terrible place for a blind date.

  12. #12462
    Coachella Junkie getbetter's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I feel like setting up a blind date at coachella is sort of redundant.

    Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's 04/26/15
    Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch 05/02-04/14
    The Decemberist @ Crystal Ballroom 05/30/14
    Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds @ The Warfield 07/07/14


    Last.fm
    Quote Originally Posted by psychic friend View Post
    thanks for whatever you did in mexico.



  13. #12463
    old school unit300021's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    Xuclarockerx, Coachella seems like a terrible place for a blind date.
    Just quoting because it needs to be said multiple times.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Why aren't there more good role models for fat people who fall down a lot?

  14. #12464

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    My first ever disaster letting a strange chick stay here.

    This chick shows back up totally wasted almost carried in by this dude who thought it was his lucky night but I told him to get lost.

    She staggered straight for the bathroom but it was occupied. She went out on the patio. She staggers back in a few minutes later and heads straight for my room. My friend comes out of the restroom and goes outside to smoke a cigarette. He starts screaming. I go out there to see what the problem was. Apparently she took a big shit right on the patio and he stepped right in it!

    I go back in to try to minimize any possible damage to the property. I go in the room and she tackles me into the bed, opens my jeans and starts blowing me, sloppily, toothily, painful. I yell "OW" and she looks up and says "you're not Simon!"

    She starts screaming at me and I say "He left, he said you were too messed up and smelled bad"

    She is now passed out in the bed (actually my mom's bed!) smelling like shit and vomit. I ended up sleeping on the floor and not really sleeping. I am going to have to try to roust her and get off to the Polo Grounds.

    Good thing she ain't coming back after tonight.
    Holy fucking hell that was the greatest thing I've read in this entire thread. Quality woman right there. Top notch.

    On another note, turns out reddit is an ok resource for getting laid, who knew.
    Last edited by Dogvolta; 04-22-2013 at 07:31 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mammoth85 View Post
    I hope Wario and Donkey Kong don't conflict.

  15. #12465
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Jesus fucking christ how are you people so fucking dense that you keep forgetting that everything SMA writes is trolling untrue bullshit?

    4/20: Godflesh, Cut Hands @ DNA Lounge
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom
    6/27: Fuck Buttons @ The Independent
    6/28: Robyn & Royksopp @ Bill Graham

  16. #12466
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Jesus fucking christ how are you so fucking dense guedita that you keep forgetting that almost everyone in the world is fucking dense?
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  17. #12467
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I had been talking to a guy on OKCupid, after a few emails back and forth it came out that he didn't have a job. I very nicely explained that had we known each other for awhile and he lost a job, of course I wouldn't just ditch him. But I am unwilling to start seeing or hanging out with someone who doesn't have a job. I wished him the best of luck and told him he could contact me at a later date if he found a job. His response was:

    It is what it is. I was just looking for friends someone to chill/smoke with. But most of all i wanted to put my tongue in your ass and pussy from time to time. But good luck to you too.
    I feel like I missed out on a real winner...
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  18. #12468
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN YOU MUST HATE YOUR LIFE AND NEVER GET LAID TOMAZ

    4/20: Godflesh, Cut Hands @ DNA Lounge
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom
    6/27: Fuck Buttons @ The Independent
    6/28: Robyn & Royksopp @ Bill Graham

  19. #12469
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    GET OUT OF YOUR MOMS BASEMENT FROM TIME TO TIME GAYDEETA
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  20. #12470
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Did you at least get a laugh out of that, loca?
    Originally Posted by Riggins33
    Why don't you show me a pic of what you look like and I'll send you a pick of myself. I'm 6'5 230....
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Would you care to list the fixes I've proposed?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dogvolta View Post
    Thank god I did't suck that guy's dick.

  21. #12471
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I did. My attempt at dating is always pretty laughable. I have given up on actually finding someone worth dating and just keeping my account for the comic relief.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  22. #12472
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Your dating attempts make me feel worried about jumping back into dating, Audra. I'll probably wait until I move to start anything.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  23. #12473
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Don't let my experiences worry you, I am a loser/freak magnet. I am hoping you have much better luck.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  24. #12474
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Honestly, I mean... a guy willing to eat your ass while he's looking for a gig isn't THAT bad.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
    Fans of TheLastGreatMan Accessory Shop

  25. #12475
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    True, but he wants someone to smoke with, I am guessing it's my weed that he wants to smoke. That is just asking for too much, regardless of his willingness to eat ass.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  26. #12476

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Jesus fucking christ how are you people so fucking dense that you keep forgetting that everything SMA writes is trolling untrue bullshit?
    It should be obvious to anyone watching my posts that I am simply not smart enough to just make up something like that.

    But just the same you have been disinvited from any plus ones I may have in the future.
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  27. #12477

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    True, but he wants someone to smoke with, I am guessing it's my weed that he wants to smoke. That is just asking for too much, regardless of his willingness to eat ass.
    I have a job and I don't want your weed. Can we hang out sometime?
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  28. #12478
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    True, but he wants someone to smoke with, I am guessing it's my weed that he wants to smoke. That is just asking for too much, regardless of his willingness to eat ass.
    So tell him he can eat whatever the fuck he wants as long as he brings the cron.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
    Fans of TheLastGreatMan Accessory Shop

  29. #12479

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    told this OKC-er "my dog likes to play with ice too", as she had listed "crunching on ice" as a past-time, and she blew up ("you calling me a dog!? wah, wah, wahhh, etc."). Later apologized, but there are some very touchie people out there.

    Had the first decent date from that site the other day. Tall, successful Indian woman who larfed at my jokes and even the disgusting tales of previous dates (like that obese girl with heavy garlic steak breath...didn't tell her about the sex though. I still cringe thinking about that night and that breath.). Doesn't drink or smoke, so that's a negative, but she seems nice.
    The pilgrimage is not perfected save by copulation with the camel.

  30. #12480
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Sounds like a nice gal. Ditch her.
    Originally Posted by Riggins33
    Why don't you show me a pic of what you look like and I'll send you a pick of myself. I'm 6'5 230....
    Quote Originally Posted by PotVsKtl View Post
    Would you care to list the fixes I've proposed?
    Quote Originally Posted by Dogvolta View Post
    Thank god I did't suck that guy's dick.

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