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Thread: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

  1. #12331
    Member ENluv12's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I want to call him Nemo.
    Quote Originally Posted by involvelemons View Post
    Silent discos are like having sex with a virgin: really exciting in theory, extremely awkward in execution.
    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    I bet Cara's gotten enough Twats on a Platter and Dick on a Stick to open her own Trolls to Go snack shop.

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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    You have an ex named...Nino?
    His real name is Will but he goes by Nino. In spanish that means little boy, so very appropriate.

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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating



    I'm not sure whether this video is mocking you, your ex, or both. Enjoy.

  4. #12334
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    lol, probably both. Although Nino looks much better without his shirt on. Too bad he is a total douchbag.

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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I don't find people with Farley's body type to be attractive, or unattractive. It's like having John Candy sleeping in bed with you. I'd be 100% more worried of him rolling over on me than I would be of him molesting me in my sleep. If only I could feel the same way about Rosie O'Donnell. Something tells me she'd roll over and eat the weenie like it were a Mario Party side game... *shivers*

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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Rosie O'Donnell doesn't eat weinies... She like vaginas.

  7. #12337
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    hahaha Nemo.

    I think I'm almost ready to get back on the wagon again.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    Rosie O'Donnell doesn't eat weinies... She like vaginas.
    Sexual perversions do not discriminate, contrary to popular deceit. Go ahead and ask your Pope.

  9. #12339

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    He's your Pope too, ya know.
    LOL! <33
    Quote Originally Posted by Zafocaine View Post
    Great advertising strategy for her vagina though! As if having a vagina weren't all a vagina needed. Now introducing the Lustful Scorned Lover scent, by RSW.

  10. #12340
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Then who's his Pope?

  11. #12341
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by ENluv12 View Post
    I am 6'4. I swear we have covered this before.
    You probably have, but as an on-and-off reader of this forum, I probably missed this epic discussion.

    However, you seem like an agreeable young lady, so even if this duplicates previous coursework, please answer the following for me:

    1) Do you ever wear high heels, or is that impossible without fear of receiving invitations to the circus?

    2) I know you're engaged, but what was the minimum height of guys you were willing to date when you were single?

    3) How many perverts did you encounter who only wanted to date you as some sort of amazon fetish? As a side question, how many guys did you date who appeared nice at first, but turned out to be one of these said perverts in disguise? As a side side question, is your fiance one of those aforementioned perverts?

    4) How many times did the high school girls' basketball coach harass you to join the team? Did you? True story: When I was in high school, there were 6'5" female twins named Heidi and Heather Burge, but were volleyball players. The basketball coach hassled them until they agreed to play basketball, and they briefly were in the WNBA. For some reason, Disney made a TV movie about them, "Double Teamed", which probably only sold copies on video because it was confused as a porn film. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Teamed

    I have more, but I'll stop here.
    Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Archie Bunker View Post
    You probably have, but as an on-and-off reader of this forum, I probably missed this epic discussion.

    However, you seem like an agreeable young lady, so even if this duplicates previous coursework, please answer the following for me:

    1) Do you ever wear high heels, or is that impossible without fear of receiving invitations to the circus?

    2) I know you're engaged, but what was the minimum height of guys you were willing to date when you were single?

    3) How many perverts did you encounter who only wanted to date you as some sort of amazon fetish? As a side question, how many guys did you date who appeared nice at first, but turned out to be one of these said perverts in disguise? As a side side question, is your fiance one of those aforementioned perverts?

    4) How many times did the high school girls' basketball coach harass you to join the team? Did you? True story: When I was in high school, there were 6'5" female twins named Heidi and Heather Burge, but were volleyball players. The basketball coach hassled them until they agreed to play basketball, and they briefly were in the WNBA. For some reason, Disney made a TV movie about them, "Double Teamed", which probably only sold copies on video because it was confused as a porn film. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Teamed

    I have more, but I'll stop here.
    Fine.
    1.Yes. Cute shoes are cute so fuck whoever has an issue with it.

    2. 6 feet.

    3. Not as much as you would imagine. I get hit on a ton at the bars in SD and I usually feel like it is bc guys want ton "conquer" the tall girl or something but that never goes anywhere obviously. I have dated guy who were into tall girls, but that was just more of a type thing... kinda like some guys like little spinner girls I would imagine.
    My finace likes that I am tall and thinks it is attractive, but I think that is because he is attracted to me in general and that is just part of who I am. Maybe this is delusional thinking but that's my thoughts on the matter. His gf's before were usually around 5'9-6 feet as he is a vb player, too.

    4.Non stop. I have actually seen that movie and it was funny bc I played volleyball all through college, and pretty well. I never stopped hearing from the Bball or track coaches. I hate bball now, and I think it's because of this.
    Quote Originally Posted by involvelemons View Post
    Silent discos are like having sex with a virgin: really exciting in theory, extremely awkward in execution.
    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    I bet Cara's gotten enough Twats on a Platter and Dick on a Stick to open her own Trolls to Go snack shop.

  13. #12343
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    5. do you ever get sick of talking about your height? i'm reminded of the scene in larry sanders when the 3rd rock from the sun chick is on the show. larry asks her how tall she is, she says she would tattoo "6 feet" on her forehead if she could never have to be asked again.

    i have also had more than one friend with a nino in their life.

    and i am sick of flaky guys.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Did you call him Will when you were mad at him?

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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by marooko View Post
    Did you call him Will when you were mad at him?
    No, he was always Nino to me. It's funny because he text me on my birthday but my daughter has my old phone. So when I went to lunch with her on Saturday she said some dude named Will was trying to get in touch with me. I had no idea who it was until I saw the number. The only time I ever called him Will was when I sent him letters in jail...

  16. #12346
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    did you ever dedicate a song to him on the Art Laboe show?
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Which healthcare provider will euthanize you the fastest as a service to society?
    9/2 Bear in Heaven@Echoplex - 9/4 Phantogram@Fox Pomona - 9/6 Atmosphere@Palladium - 9/10 Britney Spears - 9/18 Fatboy Slim@Shrine - 9/22 Interpol@Fox Pomona - 9/23 La Roux@Fonda - 9/25 Simian Mobile Disco@El Rey - 9/26 Die Antwoord@Observatory - 10/8 Gus Gus@Roxy - 10/10 Twin Shadow@Glass House - 10/12,19,26 IAMX@Complex - 10/24 Placebo@Club Nokia - 10/25 Superhumanoids@Palladium - 10/27 Tycho@Glass House -

  17. #12347
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    No, he was always Nino to me. It's funny because he text me on my birthday but my daughter has my old phone. So when I went to lunch with her on Saturday she said some dude named Will was trying to get in touch with me. I had no idea who it was until I saw the number. The only time I ever called him Will was when I sent him letters in jail...
    And... that's a wrap.

    I think you know the answer, Jorge. Quit before we get the unabridged version. No one should spill their life story on the Coachella message board. No one.

  18. #12348
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by JorgeC View Post
    did you ever dedicate a song to him on the Art Laboe show?
    ahahhahahahha, here in az we have "lights out phoenix". it's always the same type of dedication with way too much personal information. "tyronne, i'm so sorry that i got upset when i found out you were jen's baby-daddy. we've been through some tough times with the divorce and all, but you know i love you and wanna give a shout out".
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  19. #12349
    Can't Post anymore. bummer Zafocaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    "This is little happy. Just want to give a shout out to my girl sad eyes, and tell her I miss her, and I love her, and I know things went bad in the past, but everything is different now baby. I'll be with you again real soon."

    Things you say on Art Laboe just before walking in on your ex girlfriend banging your brother/ friend/ enemy/ dad/ whoever else lives in the hood.

  20. #12350
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    haha, nope, no radio shout outs here.

  21. #12351
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Art Laboe is awesome.

    The guy is almost 88 years old and just won't quit.

    You know the dude is gonna pull a Dick Clark and keep working until he's in the ground.

    To put things in perspective, he could have served in WWII.
    Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

  22. #12352
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by ENluv12 View Post
    Fine.
    1.Yes. Cute shoes are cute so fuck whoever has an issue with it.

    2. 6 feet.

    3. Not as much as you would imagine. I get hit on a ton at the bars in SD and I usually feel like it is bc guys want ton "conquer" the tall girl or something but that never goes anywhere obviously. I have dated guy who were into tall girls, but that was just more of a type thing... kinda like some guys like little spinner girls I would imagine.
    My finace likes that I am tall and thinks it is attractive, but I think that is because he is attracted to me in general and that is just part of who I am. Maybe this is delusional thinking but that's my thoughts on the matter. His gf's before were usually around 5'9-6 feet as he is a vb player, too.

    4.Non stop. I have actually seen that movie and it was funny bc I played volleyball all through college, and pretty well. I never stopped hearing from the Bball or track coaches. I hate bball now, and I think it's because of this.
    Follow up questions:

    1) How high are the heels? If you wore 5 inch heels, you would be 6'9"!!

    2) I can't answer this for the pervs in SD, but I am guessing more want to feel submissive to a tall girl rather than "conquer" a tall one. I dated a girl who was 6' about 4 years ago, and she told me she was constantly bugged by short/average guys who wanted a taller woman to dominate them, especially online.

    3) I don't understand the track thing. Why did the track coach want you? I know track has many elements to it (short distance, long distance, hurdles, shot put, high jump, etc), but which event were they recruiting you for? Being really tall is actually a disadvantage for competitive racing. Perhaps it's an advantage in the high jump or hurdles, I don't know. I ran track in high school, and the best runners were always in the 5'6-5'9 range.

    4) A sincere thank you for answering my annoying questions regarding your height, a subject I'm sure you're sick of by now.
    Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

  23. #12353
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    No, he was always Nino to me. It's funny because he text me on my birthday but my daughter has my old phone. So when I went to lunch with her on Saturday she said some dude named Will was trying to get in touch with me. I had no idea who it was until I saw the number. The only time I ever called him Will was when I sent him letters in jail...


    Holy shit, Loca. Love it!

  24. #12354
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    5. do you ever get sick of talking about your height? i'm reminded of the scene in larry sanders when the 3rd rock from the sun chick is on the show. larry asks her how tall she is, she says she would tattoo "6 feet" on her forehead if she could never have to be asked again.
    I don't 'mind here but in person I can get a little annoyed. I usually don't even care if someone is polite about it but I HATE when people walk passed me and say shit under their breath like "whoa she's tall" I usually just say very loud "and I have ears too"
    Quote Originally Posted by involvelemons View Post
    Silent discos are like having sex with a virgin: really exciting in theory, extremely awkward in execution.
    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    I bet Cara's gotten enough Twats on a Platter and Dick on a Stick to open her own Trolls to Go snack shop.

  25. #12355
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Archie Bunker View Post
    Follow up questions:

    1) How high are the heels? If you wore 5 inch heels, you would be 6'9"!!

    2) I can't answer this for the pervs in SD, but I am guessing more want to feel submissive to a tall girl rather than "conquer" a tall one. I dated a girl who was 6' about 4 years ago, and she told me she was constantly bugged by short/average guys who wanted a taller woman to dominate them, especially online.

    3) I don't understand the track thing. Why did the track coach want you? I know track has many elements to it (short distance, long distance, hurdles, shot put, high jump, etc), but which event were they recruiting you for? Being really tall is actually a disadvantage for competitive racing. Perhaps it's an advantage in the high jump or hurdles, I don't know. I ran track in high school, and the best runners were always in the 5'6-5'9 range.

    4) A sincere thank you for answering my annoying questions regarding your height, a subject I'm sure you're sick of by now.
    1. IDK probably like 3? I honestly don't wear them often because they hurt my feet and back.

    2. um, wow. I have not had anything like that... but I usually have no issue telling someone to kindly fuck off if they are being creepy.

    3. yeah I never really got that either. I am not fast. Like, at all. They wanted me to do hurtles and one of the jumping events.

    4. No worries. You were not a dick about it so it doesn't bother me at all. I just don't like when people are rude. That gets annoying like real fast.
    Quote Originally Posted by involvelemons View Post
    Silent discos are like having sex with a virgin: really exciting in theory, extremely awkward in execution.
    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    I bet Cara's gotten enough Twats on a Platter and Dick on a Stick to open her own Trolls to Go snack shop.

  26. #12356

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    You have an ex named...Nino?
    do you like guys with long hair?
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  27. #12357

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Zafocaine View Post
    And... that's a wrap.

    I think you know the answer, Jorge. Quit before we get the unabridged version. No one should spill their life story on the Coachella message board. No one.
    On the contrary.. This was a most excellent story.

    Loca, can you beat Brokendoll's story?

  28. #12358
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Nope, not even close. None of my stories have anyone involved in the manson murders.

  29. #12359
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    One of my aunt's best friends was a victim in the Manson murders.

  30. #12360
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by ENluv12 View Post
    I don't 'mind here but in person I can get a little annoyed. I usually don't even care if someone is polite about it but I HATE when people walk passed me and say shit under their breath like "whoa she's tall" I usually just say very loud "and I have ears too"


    Couldn't help myself. I'm 6'4, and I've never been with a tall woman. It has nothing to do with how attracted I am to them, but more to do with how available they are. I sort of got over people marveling at how tall I am about the time I realized that most of them were bitter and jealous about it, and would try to poke at me any chance they got. It's funny how people act when they think you're not going to hospitalize them for opening their mouths =D then the change in atmosphere when they realize how close they are to utilizing medicare.

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