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Thread: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

  1. #11641
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    So . . . Give Icey a massage and help him get it over with.

  2. #11642
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    6 MONTHS?!?!!!

  3. #11643

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    You guys act like the whole world will change when I get laid for the first time. Newsflash: I'll still be just as shy as I was before, except I can brag on the internet about the one time someone made me their mistake.

  4. #11644

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    6 MONTHS?!?!!!
    Dunno. My self perception can be really off sometimes. Ask any of the people here who have met me.

  5. #11645
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    I'll still be just as shy as I was before
    not true. I broke faaaaaaar out into left field in my early 20's

  6. #11646
    old school HotHamWater's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Well, this does seem like an improvement. I was convinced you were asexual.

  7. #11647
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    See, that's your problem. Maybe it will be different. Maybe you will start to regard yourself as somebody's treasure & not their mistake. Either way, you need to start embracing yourself as the best fuck around whether you are or not. It's the greatest love of all.

  8. #11648
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Icey, dude, seriously, I'll look through some ads for you and find you a nice girl, but trust me this is the way to go.

    Stop with all this "having sex with someone you love" shit. Because here's the thing: at your age, nobody wants to take a virginity. Nobody wants to take a virginity PERIOD, especially if you're a guy. But that's fine--that's what whores are for. You shell out 300-400 for a couple hours with a really attractive, experienced woman who will be warm and inviting and understanding of your situation, and if you talk to them ahead of time you can explain that you're a virg and you're looking to drop your cherry but also kinda get a quick tutorial on some of the things you should know by this point so that you can get back to dating. You'll find a whore with a kind heart--believe it or not, as much as a lot of the business are sad cases of women trapped into this lifestyle, some of them are really nice women who enjoy sex and know that their biggest marketable skill is their ability to make a man feel adored and they're putting it to use. They won't judge you, they will be able to calm your nerves, they'll show you a good time but more importantly they're the kind of girls who won't make you feel weird if you ask them to show you how to touch a pussy properly. They'll give you really good tips, you'll walk into your next date with a million times more confidence and ease.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  9. #11649

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    See, that's your problem. Maybe it will be different. Maybe you will start to regard yourself as somebody's treasure & not their mistake. Either way, you need to start embracing yourself as the best fuck around whether you are or not. It's the greatest love of all.
    The "mistake" thing was just a joke.

    Also how did you all let Randy saying "whores can be loving and caring... I was one once" slip by without comment?

  10. #11650
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I agree with Randy. Or, goto the foxfire or one of those cougar joints. I had an old divorce once who really showed me the ebb and flow of love making. Whores might not give you that.

    Edit: young white American girls are terrible at sex

  11. #11651
    old school HotHamWater's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Icey, I think you're underestimating how much penetrating a woman changes your psyche.

  12. #11652

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    The validation would be nice and it'd be nice to get off but I seriously doubt it's going to change my life.

  13. #11653
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Exactly, it's NOT going to change your life so just get her done.

  14. #11654
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    It has nothing to do with penetration. The boy has no idea how to be intimate. I hate using that word but that's really what it is. Forget about fucking or anything close to it--he doesn't know how to touch a woman yet. He doesn't know the spots on her body to run his fingers along, he doesn't know where they like to be squeezed, he doesn't know how much the feeling of a man's hand on the small of their back does to them and to yourself--it's the hugest part of the bonding process that actually makes sex good. This is the stuff he needs to learn so that he can land pussy on his own.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  15. #11655

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Come on guys, turning someone down that you're not interested in is a sign of healthy self respect. It means I'm not desperate

  16. #11656
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Please get laid Icey, please.
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  17. #11657
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    See, now you've made FB desperate.

  18. #11658
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    And since you place such great value, you need to get it through your fucking head that THIS is an essential step on the road to someone loving you. If you can't hold a fucking woman in your arms and make her feel safe, if you don't know how to prop her head up in the nook of your shoulder... you're fucked. Your "love" will not happen. So don't even fuck the whore if you wanna be like that about it, but you should still buy one for a GFE/educational slot for a night and just get this shit out of the way.

    I became good with women when an older and insanely sexualized female friend of mine--she had stopped counting how many men she'd been with when she was 21 and the number was over 110--saw my socially awkward 16 year old self and said, "Okay, I'm gonna fix you up." And thank god she fucking did because just getting all that other bullshit out of the way (not to mention the whole part where she gave me a bisexual bondage freak's insight into how to handle women) DRASTICALLY changed my life. With the pressure of it off and the mystique of it taken away, I could be myself around chicks.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  19. #11659

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    It will happen eventually.

  20. #11660
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Yeah, Randy's right about touching women's backs.... especially when you're behind them so they can't see but only feel you. Then blow into her ear and kiss her neck. Then reach down and start playing with her crotch. Don't worry, she'll guide you. And the Goaaaaaaaal! Once you figure it out Icey you'll be like " how come I don't do this to them all the time"

  21. #11661

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    And since you place such great value, you need to get it through your fucking head that THIS is an essential step on the road to someone loving you. If you can't hold a fucking woman in your arms and make her feel safe, if you don't know how to prop her head up in the nook of your shoulder... you're fucked. Your "love" will not happen. So don't even fuck the whore if you wanna be like that about it, but you should still buy one for a GFE/educational slot for a night and just get this shit out of the way.

    I became good with women when an older and insanely sexualized female friend of mine--she had stopped counting how many men she'd been with when she was 21 and the number was over 110--saw my socially awkward 16 year old self and said, "Okay, I'm gonna fix you up." And thank god she fucking did because just getting all that other bullshit out of the way (not to mention the whole part where she gave me a bisexual bondage freak's insight into how to handle women) DRASTICALLY changed my life. With the pressure of it off and the mystique of it taken away, I could be myself around chicks.
    Why do you assume I've never been physically intimate with a woman? I never had sex because she didn't want to, but spent a lot of time in the bedroom anyway (yeah, laugh if you like, but not having sex was not my choice). I'm pretty sure I know enough to get by and I'll learn the same way anyone else learns, by doing, and messing up along the way sure, but by repeated exposure.

  22. #11662
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Because it's obvious you haven't, dude.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  23. #11663
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I want in on some of the bisexual bondage freak's insight.

  24. #11664
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    It would be like a novella.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  25. #11665
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    What's the title?

  26. #11666
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    same way anyone else learns, by doing, and messing up along the way sure, but by repeated exposure.
    no. You aren't going to mess up.. Because you're motha fucking Casanova. You're a fucking wild man. You're going to kiss every corner of her body and eat her pussy till she seizures.

  27. #11667
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    See that? Women cry over me and all I have to do is type.
    Please explain why your ex doesn't know about proper testicular pleasuring.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  28. #11668
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I do not comment on my exes under any circumstances, no no no.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  29. #11669
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    It has nothing to do with penetration. The boy has no idea how to be intimate. I hate using that word but that's really what it is. Forget about fucking or anything close to it--he doesn't know how to touch a woman yet. He doesn't know the spots on her body to run his fingers along, he doesn't know where they like to be squeezed, he doesn't know how much the feeling of a man's hand on the small of their back does to them and to yourself--it's the hugest part of the bonding process that actually makes sex good. This is the stuff he needs to learn so that he can land pussy on his own.
    Unfortunately, this is true of thousands, maybe millions, of people who have had plenty of sex in their lives.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  30. #11670
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    WHICH IS WHY HE SHOULD HIRE A PRO.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

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