It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

[SoulDischarge]

I'm watching one of our cats trying to rape another one of our cats. Once I get a pizza, it will be a truly perfect day.

[marooko]

Froyo. None of the other BS. Stoked.

[greghead]

You really shouldn't post what you plan on making if you don't want people to show up.
But, lucky for you, I'm having a bunch of orders being shipped to my new place today. I'll probably be busy tonight testing out my new vacuum.

Well, let's be honest here, we will both get too stuffed & drunk for any sort of sexual activity and will likely put on buffet pants and fall asleep.

[GuyInTucson]

I'm watching one of our cats trying to rape another one of our cats. Once I get a pizza, it will be a truly perfect day.

Yeah this is getting sig'd.

[xanman86]

Do you know what I find ironic?


Usually, things actually steeped in irony.

My statement was steeped in irony. All that ranch and mac & cheese is cloging your head guuurl.

[Dogvolta]

My roommate is moving out of my house today. It'll be the first time I've ever lived alone, and now it's in my very own house too. I do have a potential coming over at 8 tonight, but my hopes aren't up. Chances are it'll be me and House of Cards

[getbetter]

I'm making my date vacuum for me. Shirtless.

I also plan to mop...shirtless

[amyzzz]

I stopped at episode 4 of House of Cards. I was not happy with how that episode ended.

[MusicIsMyBoyfriend]

I stopped at episode 4 of House of Cards. I was not happy with how that episode ended.

Well Crap... I've only gotten through episode 3 and have been very pleased with the show, now you've got me worried.

[Dogvolta]

Well Crap... I've only gotten through episode 3 and have been very pleased with the show, now you've got me worried.

I've got an episode left. It is one of the better television series that I have seen, ever. I don't even remember anything off putting about the end of ep 4? Episode ten is one of the greatest moments of TV drama I've experienced.

[amyzzz]

Hrmm. Maybe I'll give it another chance.

[Zafocaine]

My roommate is moving out of my house today. It'll be the first time I've ever lived alone, and now it's in my very own house too. I do have a potential coming over at 8 tonight, but my hopes aren't up. Chances are it'll be me and House of Cards

I had very high expectations for living alone in my own home. Now I would really hate to live with anyone else. It's lonely, and great, at the same time. It's convenient for one night stands, but having real company over becomes a bitch when you realize you have to clean up after everyone. Not sure I can put a price on falling asleep without the sound of snoring people beaming in from another room. It's to the point where I won't even talk to my old room mate for fear of having to deny him a place to stay when he asks. It's time for a topless maid. Case closed.

[MusicIsMyBoyfriend]

I've got an episode left. It is one of the better television series that I have seen, ever. I don't even remember anything off putting about the end of ep 4? Episode ten is one of the greatest moments of TV drama I've experienced.

Thank you for restoring my faith, I shall push forth!

[RotationSlimWang]

Girlfriends who don't believe in Valentine's Day: bonus.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Girlfriends who don't believe in Valentine's Day: bonus.

Yes, I feel very lucky to have this. Especially since I have to work late tonight, so i'm not getting any shit about it.

[Robin]

If a guy I'm dating does not do anything for Valentine's Day, I don't give him shit for it. I just won't do anything for Steak and Blowjob Day.

[RotationSlimWang]

I've never needed a specific day to get a blowjob. They get thrown at me like confetti in a parade.

[GuyInTucson]

Girlfriends who don't believe in Valentine's Day: bonus.

Bingo.

[guedita]

My student assistants are currently making Valentine's Day cards for my cats.

[Hannahrain]

Girlfriends who don't believe in Valentine's Day: bonus.

Seems as though having a girlfriend who spends valuable cognitive time attempting to refute the existence of an established and accepted social construct would be akin to having one who insisted tissues were an immaterial mindworm propagated by Big Mysophobia in order to keep the reusable handkerchief industry down through perceived alternatives nobody ever bothered to confirm the existence of purely out of spite stemming from an old gambling disagreement or instance of science fair sabotage. The far better bonus would be to have a girlfriend who accepts the institutional existence of the holiday based upon the evidence at hand and chooses to ignore it anyway.

[RotationSlimWang]

You have to post the best and worst one.

Also, have one of them make a card for me and post that. You are free to use artistic license in describing me to them to guarantee an appropriately insulting result.

[RotationSlimWang]

Seems as though having a girlfriend who spends valuable cognitive time attempting to refute the existence of an established and accepted social construct would be akin to having one who insisted tissues were an immaterial mindworm propagated by Big Mysophobia in order to keep the reusable handkerchief industry down through perceived alternatives nobody ever bothered to confirm the existence of purely out of spite stemming from an old gambling disagreement or instance of science fair sabotage. The far better bonus would be to have a girlfriend who accepts the institutional existence of the holiday based upon the evidence at hand and chooses to ignore it anyway.

... this is a really impressive paragraph and all, but I'm not sure the joke was worth all the 50 cent words. Could you please call my development editor in here?

[Hannahrain]

I'm storing them here for later. I don't trust banks.

[Dogvolta]

I had very high expectations for living alone in my own home. Now I would really hate to live with anyone else. It's lonely, and great, at the same time. It's convenient for one night stands, but having real company over becomes a bitch when you realize you have to clean up after everyone. Not sure I can put a price on falling asleep without the sound of snoring people beaming in from another room. It's to the point where I won't even talk to my old room mate for fear of having to deny him a place to stay when he asks. It's time for a topless maid. Case closed.

Yeah, just in the 6 months he's lived with me he's cock blocked me twice, called him out both times. I've had company over nearly every weekend since I bought the place (6 months ago) and I'm ok with the cleaning portion of it. I realize there will be times of a sense of loneliness, but I'll take that over the 101 reasons roommates can suck.

Back on topic. This is the first solo-valentines where I'm completely ok with being alone. My ex was more $$ over sentiments when it came to "special" days such as valentines. That's what she liked and that's what made her feel special, so that's what I did.

[RotationSlimWang]

But there's going to be a run on Mysophobia and the Fed can't just bail us out again.

[Hannahrain]

It's cool, I licked all the instances of it I found in the DSM4. None of those neurotic freakjobs will touch them now.

[RotationSlimWang]

Say, "I licked all the instances of it" again. Slowly.

[Zafocaine]

Yeah, just in the 6 months he's lived with me he's cock blocked me twice, called him out both times. I've had company over nearly every weekend since I bought the place (6 months ago) and I'm ok with the cleaning portion of it. I realize there will be times of a sense of loneliness, but I'll take that over the 101 reasons roommates can suck.

Back on topic. This is the first solo-valentines where I'm completely ok with being alone. My ex was more $$ over sentiments when it came to "special" days such as valentines. That's what she liked and that's what made her feel special, so that's what I did.

I love living alone, having my own place. Room mates are bullshit. Who needs the hassle/ tension? It's more a meditative loneliness. I crave the detachment that an empty home allows. Valentine's day is for single people getting laid after a winter depression. Real couples oughtn't need such devices.

[chairmenmeow47]

living alone is the best!

also, for the five people who aren't aware of the onion

http://www.theonion.com/video/how-to...-having,19984/

[HotHamWater]

I'm storing them here for later. I don't trust banks.

But she still believes in banks: bonus.