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Thread: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

  1. #11341
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I've got a pretty gag reflex, you know, it's part of my business, but seriously I cannot service you without getting violently ill. So....goodbye.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  2. #11342
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    If I taste your dick, I will vomit bile.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  3. #11343

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Once a month for a year and a half was just fine. She was an entertainment industry chick (which I prefer to pimped chicks or total desperados), so it would be great if her career took off so I could say myself, I can't believe I used to hang out with her.
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  4. #11344

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    Once a month for a year and a half was just fine. She was an entertainment industry chick (which I prefer to pimped chicks or total desperados), so it would be great if her career took off so I could say myself, I can't believe I used to hang out with her.
    wait...what
    Quote Originally Posted by Mammoth85 View Post
    I hope Wario and Donkey Kong don't conflict.

  5. #11345

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I have a slight stutter which makes it hard to talk to women. The treatment I am getting here is typical of the treatment people like me have had to endure throughout history.
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  6. #11346
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Oh, the historical suffering of stutterers. I heard they're erecting a memorial in Statham, GA.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  7. #11347
    old school HotHamWater's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Oh, the historical suffering of stutterers. I heard they're erecting a memorial in Statham, GA.
    Hey, fatty, how much have you expanded over the past two weeks?

  8. #11348
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    ASTRONOMICALLY.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  9. #11349
    old school HotHamWater's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    You're probably not much on the eyes now, but it makes for funnier message boarding for everyone else.

  10. #11350
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I certainly feel funnier. Also, fleshy.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  11. #11351
    old school HotHamWater's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    And pretty gassy, I imagine.

  12. #11352
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    If you were a hooker--and still fat, that part doesn't change--how much would it cost for you to fuck that guy?
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  13. #11353
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    The embarrassing part about the hooker-pricing-speculation game is that I always low ball. Especially when I'm hungry (which is often, cus of the fats).

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  14. #11354
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I've heard you offer a discount with little to no prompting. "100 for everything." "Oka--" "Make that 15."
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  15. #11355
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    "Fine, I've only got $6 in my pocket. And I really want that Dominoes coupon on your fridge. Let's get this thing going."

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  16. #11356
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I used to be such a sweet sweet thing 'till they got a hold of me
    Last edited by VigoTheCarpathian; 02-13-2013 at 04:30 PM. Reason: Board induced mental health deterioration

  17. #11357

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I'd give Guedita a hundred and I never pay more than 50
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  18. #11358

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I'd give Guedita a hundred and I never pay more than 50
    A hundred and one, Bob.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mammoth85 View Post
    I hope Wario and Donkey Kong don't conflict.

  19. #11359
    Coachella Junkie Miroir Noir's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    @fakedansavage
    Go home, #fuckfirst, work up appetite—9PM or 10PM reservations easier to get, meal more enjoyable with no more V-Day obligations to fulfill!
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    To you guys I say Wat?????????? Off to ?????? ....... cr****
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    It's hard to argue with that.

  20. #11360

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I know it's stupid, but I'm feeling blue today.
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  21. #11361
    Member ENluv12's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    I know it's stupid, but I'm feeling blue today.
    I am sorry. flowers.jpeg
    Quote Originally Posted by involvelemons View Post
    Silent discos are like having sex with a virgin: really exciting in theory, extremely awkward in execution.
    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    I bet Cara's gotten enough Twats on a Platter and Dick on a Stick to open her own Trolls to Go snack shop.

  22. #11362
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Sorry, Paul.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  23. #11363

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Thanks. I hope all you who celebrate have a lovely day.
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  24. #11364
    Coachella Junkie getbetter's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Paul you know this one of those day some girls are dying for a guy to pay attention to them..why dont you go talk to some girls.
    Translation


    Rufus Wainwright @ Stern Grove 07/27/14
    Xiu Xiu @ BoTH 08/01/14
    FYF @ LA Sport Area 08/23 - 08/24/14
    Swans @ The Independent 08/08/14
    Decibel Festival @ Seattle 09/24 - 09/28/14
    War on Drugs @ Fillmore 10/05/14
    Death From Above 1979 @ The Independent 11/17/14


    Last.fm





  25. #11365
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    If it's any consolation, I rolled my eyes extra hard at your woe-is-me post, Paul.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  26. #11366

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Who needs companionship when you have life-affirming eyerolls from guedita?
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  27. #11367
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    ...and if it's any consolation, I'm spending Valentine's evening with my parents, and I won't be getting any gifts/flowers this year.
    Last edited by amyzzz; 02-14-2013 at 09:56 AM. Reason: s
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  28. #11368
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I'll be home alone going nuts from cymbalta withdrawal. IT COULD BE WORSE
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  29. #11369
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I actually feel pretty good today. Yay anti-depressants (not cymbalta!).
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  30. #11370
    Member ENluv12's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I think I need to get back on mine.
    Quote Originally Posted by involvelemons View Post
    Silent discos are like having sex with a virgin: really exciting in theory, extremely awkward in execution.
    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    I bet Cara's gotten enough Twats on a Platter and Dick on a Stick to open her own Trolls to Go snack shop.

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