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Thread: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

  1. #11341
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I do love the idea that his hooker dumped him.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  2. #11342
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    I do love the idea that his hooker dumped him.
    Your money is no good here anymore. Seriously. I don't want it.

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  3. #11343
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    There is not enough money in this motherfucking world for me to see your dick even one more time.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  4. #11344
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I've got a pretty gag reflex, you know, it's part of my business, but seriously I cannot service you without getting violently ill. So....goodbye.

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  5. #11345
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    If I taste your dick, I will vomit bile.
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  6. #11346

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Once a month for a year and a half was just fine. She was an entertainment industry chick (which I prefer to pimped chicks or total desperados), so it would be great if her career took off so I could say myself, I can't believe I used to hang out with her.
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  7. #11347

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    Once a month for a year and a half was just fine. She was an entertainment industry chick (which I prefer to pimped chicks or total desperados), so it would be great if her career took off so I could say myself, I can't believe I used to hang out with her.
    wait...what
    Quote Originally Posted by Mammoth85 View Post
    I hope Wario and Donkey Kong don't conflict.

  8. #11348

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I have a slight stutter which makes it hard to talk to women. The treatment I am getting here is typical of the treatment people like me have had to endure throughout history.
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  9. #11349
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Oh, the historical suffering of stutterers. I heard they're erecting a memorial in Statham, GA.

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  10. #11350
    old school HotHamWater's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Oh, the historical suffering of stutterers. I heard they're erecting a memorial in Statham, GA.
    Hey, fatty, how much have you expanded over the past two weeks?

  11. #11351
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    ASTRONOMICALLY.

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  12. #11352
    old school HotHamWater's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    You're probably not much on the eyes now, but it makes for funnier message boarding for everyone else.

  13. #11353
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I certainly feel funnier. Also, fleshy.

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  14. #11354
    old school HotHamWater's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    And pretty gassy, I imagine.

  15. #11355
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    If you were a hooker--and still fat, that part doesn't change--how much would it cost for you to fuck that guy?
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  16. #11356
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    The embarrassing part about the hooker-pricing-speculation game is that I always low ball. Especially when I'm hungry (which is often, cus of the fats).

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  17. #11357
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I've heard you offer a discount with little to no prompting. "100 for everything." "Oka--" "Make that 15."
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  18. #11358
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    "Fine, I've only got $6 in my pocket. And I really want that Dominoes coupon on your fridge. Let's get this thing going."

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  19. #11359
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I used to be such a sweet sweet thing 'till they got a hold of me
    Last edited by VigoTheCarpathian; 02-13-2013 at 04:30 PM. Reason: Board induced mental health deterioration

  20. #11360

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I'd give Guedita a hundred and I never pay more than 50
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  21. #11361

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I'd give Guedita a hundred and I never pay more than 50
    A hundred and one, Bob.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mammoth85 View Post
    I hope Wario and Donkey Kong don't conflict.

  22. #11362
    Coachella Junkie Miroir Noir's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    @fakedansavage
    Go home, #fuckfirst, work up appetite—9PM or 10PM reservations easier to get, meal more enjoyable with no more V-Day obligations to fulfill!
    Quote Originally Posted by sk8r408 View Post
    The word "lulzy" is offensive.

  23. #11363

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I know it's stupid, but I'm feeling blue today.
    Philip Glass Ensemble - Philip Glass - Tycho - William Tyler - Nickel Creek - Jandek - The Mountain Goats - Hopscotch 2014

  24. #11364
    Member ENluv12's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    I know it's stupid, but I'm feeling blue today.
    I am sorry. flowers.jpeg
    Quote Originally Posted by involvelemons View Post
    Silent discos are like having sex with a virgin: really exciting in theory, extremely awkward in execution.
    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    I bet Cara's gotten enough Twats on a Platter and Dick on a Stick to open her own Trolls to Go snack shop.

  25. #11365
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Sorry, Paul.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  26. #11366

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Thanks. I hope all you who celebrate have a lovely day.
    Philip Glass Ensemble - Philip Glass - Tycho - William Tyler - Nickel Creek - Jandek - The Mountain Goats - Hopscotch 2014

  27. #11367
    Coachella Junkie getbetter's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Paul you know this one of those day some girls are dying for a guy to pay attention to them..why dont you go talk to some girls.

    Trentemoller @ Mezzanine 04/06/14
    The Knife @ The Fox 04/15/14
    Factory Floor @ The Independent 04/16/14
    The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's 04/17/14
    Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's 04/26/15
    Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch 05/02-04/14
    The Decemberist @ Crystal Ballroom 05/30/14
    Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds @ The Warfield 07/07/14


    Last.fm
    Quote Originally Posted by psychic friend View Post
    thanks for whatever you did in mexico.



  28. #11368
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    If it's any consolation, I rolled my eyes extra hard at your woe-is-me post, Paul.

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/21: The Men @ Rickshaw Stop
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/10: Joey Anderson @ TBA
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/21: Baths @ The Independent
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  29. #11369

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Who needs companionship when you have life-affirming eyerolls from guedita?
    Philip Glass Ensemble - Philip Glass - Tycho - William Tyler - Nickel Creek - Jandek - The Mountain Goats - Hopscotch 2014

  30. #11370
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    ...and if it's any consolation, I'm spending Valentine's evening with my parents, and I won't be getting any gifts/flowers this year.
    Last edited by amyzzz; 02-14-2013 at 09:56 AM. Reason: s
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

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