It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

[RotationSlimWang]

I do love the idea that his hooker dumped him.

[guedita]

I do love the idea that his hooker dumped him.

Your money is no good here anymore. Seriously. I don't want it.

[RotationSlimWang]

There is not enough money in this motherfucking world for me to see your dick even one more time.

[guedita]

I've got a pretty gag reflex, you know, it's part of my business, but seriously I cannot service you without getting violently ill. So....goodbye.

[RotationSlimWang]

If I taste your dick, I will vomit bile.

[SlowMotionApocalypse]

Once a month for a year and a half was just fine. She was an entertainment industry chick (which I prefer to pimped chicks or total desperados), so it would be great if her career took off so I could say myself, I can't believe I used to hang out with her.

[Dogvolta]

Once a month for a year and a half was just fine. She was an entertainment industry chick (which I prefer to pimped chicks or total desperados), so it would be great if her career took off so I could say myself, I can't believe I used to hang out with her.

wait...what

[SlowMotionApocalypse]

I have a slight stutter which makes it hard to talk to women. The treatment I am getting here is typical of the treatment people like me have had to endure throughout history.

[guedita]

Oh, the historical suffering of stutterers. I heard they're erecting a memorial in Statham, GA.

[HotHamWater]

Oh, the historical suffering of stutterers. I heard they're erecting a memorial in Statham, GA.

Hey, fatty, how much have you expanded over the past two weeks?

[guedita]

ASTRONOMICALLY.

[HotHamWater]

You're probably not much on the eyes now, but it makes for funnier message boarding for everyone else.

[guedita]

I certainly feel funnier. Also, fleshy.

[HotHamWater]

And pretty gassy, I imagine.

[RotationSlimWang]

If you were a hooker--and still fat, that part doesn't change--how much would it cost for you to fuck that guy?

[guedita]

The embarrassing part about the hooker-pricing-speculation game is that I always low ball. Especially when I'm hungry (which is often, cus of the fats).

[RotationSlimWang]

I've heard you offer a discount with little to no prompting. "100 for everything." "Oka--" "Make that 15."

[guedita]

"Fine, I've only got $6 in my pocket. And I really want that Dominoes coupon on your fridge. Let's get this thing going."

[VigoTheCarpathian]

I used to be such a sweet sweet thing 'till they got a hold of me

[SlowMotionApocalypse]

I'd give Guedita a hundred and I never pay more than 50

[Dogvolta]

I'd give Guedita a hundred and I never pay more than 50

A hundred and one, Bob.

[Miroir Noir]

@fakedansavage

Go home, #fuckfirst, work up appetite—9PM or 10PM reservations easier to get, meal more enjoyable with no more V-Day obligations to fulfill!

[IceyHotshot]

I know it's stupid, but I'm feeling blue today.

[ENluv12]

I know it's stupid, but I'm feeling blue today.

I am sorry. flowers.jpeg

[amyzzz]

Sorry, Paul.

[IceyHotshot]

Thanks. I hope all you who celebrate have a lovely day.

[getbetter]

Paul you know this one of those day some girls are dying for a guy to pay attention to them..why dont you go talk to some girls.

[guedita]

If it's any consolation, I rolled my eyes extra hard at your woe-is-me post, Paul.

[IceyHotshot]

Who needs companionship when you have life-affirming eyerolls from guedita?

[amyzzz]

...and if it's any consolation, I'm spending Valentine's evening with my parents, and I won't be getting any gifts/flowers this year.