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Thread: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

  1. #11131
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I went on a date yesterday and it went rather well. I didn't once consider faking an emergency to escape. There was a nice kiss at the end and we are already discussing meeting for lunch sometime next week.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  2. #11132

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by sonofhal View Post
    I hope the Russians love their children too.

    Who here has dated a Russian Jew? (Fruitless attempt to get thread back on track).
    No but my sister had this Polish friend who let me cum on her tits. She found my sister and said "look what your brother did." She was immediately ostracized and my sister stopped bringing her friends over.
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  3. #11133
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    I went on a date yesterday and it went rather well. I didn't once consider faking an emergency to escape. There was a nice kiss at the end and we are already discussing meeting for lunch sometime next week.
    Alright, so what's his defect? Face tattoo? House arrest? Peg leg? Secret family in another state? Gimp in his basement? Mel Gibson?
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  4. #11134
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    lol, well he has blondish red hair and freckles, according to south park that means he has no soul. I think souls are overrated though. I am sure there is more wrong with him, but he was very good to hide his defects last night. Although, he does drink bud light... EW
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  5. #11135
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    confession: i've never kissed a ginger.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  6. #11136
    Member ENluv12's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    confession: I have :/
    Quote Originally Posted by involvelemons View Post
    Silent discos are like having sex with a virgin: really exciting in theory, extremely awkward in execution.
    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    I bet Cara's gotten enough Twats on a Platter and Dick on a Stick to open her own Trolls to Go snack shop.

  7. #11137
    old school unit300021's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    So South Park is right about gingers then?

    Also I guess I have a date this weekend. More like hanging out with friends and this girl is coming specifically for me which I was told to bring my "A Game." I really only have C+ game at best so we shall see how this event plans out.
    Last edited by unit300021; 02-01-2013 at 08:02 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Why aren't there more good role models for fat people who fall down a lot?

  8. #11138
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Confession: I had babies with a ginger.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  9. #11139
    Member chbludevil's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by unit300021 View Post
    So South Park is right about gingers then?

    Also I guess I have a date this weekend. More like hanging out with friends and this girl is coming specifically for me which I was told to bring my "A Game." I really only have C+ game at best so we shall see how this event plans out.
    Be sure to expose yourself early and often throughout the course of the evening.

  10. #11140
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    No but my sister had this Polish friend who let me cum on her tits. She found my sister and said "look what your brother did." She was immediately ostracized and my sister stopped bringing her friends over.
    This is remarkable.
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  11. #11141
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    Confession: I had babies with a ginger.
    How is that a confession? My first boyfirend had red hair, which is what attracted me to him in the first place.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  12. #11142
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I was just playing along with the other ginger confession. I don't discriminate.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  13. #11143

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    Confession: I had babies with a ginger.
    Wrong thread
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  14. #11144
    Can't Post anymore. bummer Zafocaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by unit300021 View Post
    So South Park is right about gingers then?

    Also I guess I have a date this weekend. More like hanging out with friends and this girl is coming specifically for me which I was told to bring my "A Game." I really only have C+ game at best so we shall see how this event plans out.
    Act like you have A game. If she responds as if it's less than A, make her feel stupid for her mistake. Wasn't that easy?

  15. #11145
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    No but my sister had this Polish friend who let me cum on her tits. She found my sister and said "look what your brother did." She was immediately ostracized and my sister stopped bringing her friends over.
    This is both a fairly interesting confession AND made my dick twitch a little.

    So wait, you mean she didn't clean the jizz off or anything and went back to your sister to show her your load on her tits? You gotta explain more here. Was she completely topless or did you just drop it in her cleavage? What the fuck?
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    Hannah, I don't know that pigs have big weiners, and my early 20's facination with dogs because of weiner size, I think. If that helps.

  16. #11146

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    This is both a fairly interesting confession AND made my dick twitch a little.

    So wait, you mean she didn't clean the jizz off or anything and went back to your sister to show her your load on her tits? You gotta explain more here. Was she completely topless or did you just drop it in her cleavage? What the fuck?
    I was 17 and my sister was 15. For the most part, we were "good kids" meaning my mom could take off for a few days and leave us alone. Polish girl and a friend came around looking for my sister. She wasn't home. They said "we have vodka, can we hang out here?"

    I had made out with the polish girl briefly but she had bad breath and I didn't like her. But it was 2 months later, my previous plaything had moved on.

    The other friend quickly passed out, me and polish girl ended up in my room. We made out a bit more, but she just wasn't doing anything for me. So I had her suck my dick OUCH! I had never noticed until now that she had braces. Her shirt was off, I try to get her shorts off. She wouldn't do it. So I told her to hold her tits together, popped pretty quick, ran them both off and went to sleep. The end.

    Or so I thought.

    YEARS LATER, my sister says, hey remember polish girl? I know what you did and she showed me her cum splattered tits and she didn't shower for 3 days afterward. Everybody thought it was pretty gross. Apparently she knew full well my sister wasn't going to be home, she conspired with her other friend to get me drunk and take advantage of me then found their group of friends including my sister to brag about it afterward.

    YIKES!
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  17. #11147
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    He's a troll.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  18. #11148
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    yeah, that totally happened.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  19. #11149
    Can't Post anymore. bummer Zafocaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I was 17 and my sister was 15. For the most part, we were "good kids" meaning my mom could take off for a few days and leave us alone. Polish girl and a friend came around looking for my sister. She wasn't home. They said "we have vodka, can we hang out here?"

    I had made out with the polish girl briefly but she had bad breath and I didn't like her. But it was 2 months later, my previous plaything had moved on.

    The other friend quickly passed out, me and polish girl ended up in my room. We made out a bit more, but she just wasn't doing anything for me. So I had her suck my dick OUCH! I had never noticed until now that she had braces. Her shirt was off, I try to get her shorts off. She wouldn't do it. So I told her to hold her tits together, popped pretty quick, ran them both off and went to sleep. The end.

    Or so I thought.

    YEARS LATER, my sister says, hey remember polish girl? I know what you did and she showed me her cum splattered tits and she didn't shower for 3 days afterward. Everybody thought it was pretty gross. Apparently she knew full well my sister wasn't going to be home, she conspired with her other friend to get me drunk and take advantage of me then found their group of friends including my sister to brag about it afterward.

    YIKES!
    So then... Guedita is a fatty?

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    He's a troll.
    Anyone who calls people trolls are either a "troll" or kind of lacking in the intelligence department. Figure out a new way to burn the people who burn your balls, because calling people trolls doesn't do the trick. They know they're fucking with you. Why pat them on the back for it?

  20. #11150

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I just found the other chick's Facebook page. She's a hardcore Scientologist. I never knew Polish girl's last name. If any details seems hazy or inconsistent, it's because vodka was involved. This was 1991. I haven't had vodka since 1993. I think my sister brought this up around 1997. I only saw Polish girl once after this, when we were both doing envelope stuffing for a local politician. She was trying to flirt with me but I just ignored her.
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  21. #11151

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Zafocaine View Post
    Anyone who calls people trolls are either a "troll" or kind of lacking in the intelligence department. Figure out a new way to burn the people who burn your balls, because calling people trolls doesn't do the trick. They know they're fucking with you. Why pat them on the back for it?
    I will never understand why people insist on using their keyboards as instruments of hate when all I ever do is love.
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  22. #11152
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    "all i ever do is love, all over T's"
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  23. #11153

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I'm not really a "breast man" but I felt it was my only opportunity to bust a nut.
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  24. #11154
    old school HotHamWater's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    He's a troll.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    yeah, that totally happened.
    Theater of the mind, assholes.

  25. #11155
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    hey, i'd believe it if he came in/on/around her asshole
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  26. #11156
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    He's a troll, and his story didn't titillate me enough.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  27. #11157

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    hey, i'd believe it if he came in/on/around her asshole
    What do you think I was trying to get at when I tried to get her shorts off?
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

  28. #11158
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    a real man's cum would shoot piercing rays of C through her shorts directly into her anus.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  29. #11159
    Coachella Junkie weeklymix's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Guess I'm masturbating elsewhere on the Internet today.

  30. #11160

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by weeklymix View Post
    Guess I'm masturbating elsewhere on the Internet today.
    www.findacase.com

    punch sodomy into the search field
    "why are you so annoying" TheKlein25

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