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Thread: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

  1. #10861
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    yay!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  2. #10862
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by kitt kat View Post
    Hey remember me? Remember how I was saying stupid shit like this a few months ago?

    I finally grew myself a pair of balls (!!) and stopped acting like a wet blanket and started talking to people random people, even! And I stopped being all defeatist and "woe is me" about how I was "never ever going to fall in love again." And you know what happened? I GOT A BOYFRIEND. (Fairly quickly, I might add.)

    If I wasn't outgoing and proactive about that "cute dude my friends brought to the concert" that night, I would have never got to meet the sweetest, most spontaneous and all-around amazing dude that I have now. I literally told myself, "Fuck this bad attitude I have. I'm going to talk to this guy RIGHT NOW."

    I dunno man, food for thought.
    Much better choice than killing ones self or succumbing to "forever alone"

  3. #10863
    old school unit300021's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    IHS, if Kitt Katt is going off on you, someone who was going through near identical shit, you might want to listen to her. I mean she is probably the closest that can relate to you. Just saying even if you don't take the advice it might be worth the listen.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Why aren't there more good role models for fat people who fall down a lot?

  4. #10864
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    He gave her the same treatment everyone else did too. Tsk tsk. Just get that dick up in some punany. You'll totally wonder where the hell you have been once you get inside. You may perhaps gain mutant powers like the X-Men.

  5. #10865
    Coachella Junkie getbetter's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Mugwog View Post
    He gave her the same treatment everyone else did too. Tsk tsk. Just get that dick up in some punany. You'll totally wonder where the hell you have been once you get inside. You may perhaps gain mutant powers like the Black Hole comic book series
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Hole_(comics)

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    Quote Originally Posted by psychic friend View Post
    thanks for whatever you did in mexico.



  6. #10866
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    i just got a message that includes "i was raised by my grandparents who instilled morals and values in me." i'd like to tell him i was raised by godless heathens.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  7. #10867
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I've always loved that line from Annie Hall: my granny never gave me gifts, she was too busy getting raped by cossacks

  8. #10868
    old school
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i just got a message that includes "i was raised by my grandparents who instilled morals and values in me." i'd like to tell him i was raised by godless heathens.
    He is probably into discipline.

  9. #10869
    Member amandabomb's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by kitt kat
    I literally told myself, "Fuck this bad attitude I have. I'm going to talk to this guy RIGHT NOW."
    I've been putting this idea into practice over the past week, and IT WORKS! I went on a pretty fun date on Thursday, and last night I went to a big house party, where I only knew a couple of people. And I ended up talking to a guy who caught my eye (which led to a hot makeout session later in the night...woot!). Before the party, I told myself, "just say hi to as many people as possible, without over-thinking anything, and see what happens." Turns out most people are pretty receptive and appreciative when somebody else grows a pair and breaks the ice.
    "If you've lost your faith in love and music, the end won't be long." -The Libertines

  10. #10870

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by kitt kat View Post
    Hey remember me? Remember how I was saying stupid shit like this a few months ago?

    I finally grew myself a pair of balls (!!) and stopped acting like a wet blanket and started talking to people random people, even! And I stopped being all defeatist and "woe is me" about how I was "never ever going to fall in love again." And you know what happened? I GOT A BOYFRIEND. (Fairly quickly, I might add.)

    If I wasn't outgoing and proactive about that "cute dude my friends brought to the concert" that night, I would have never got to meet the sweetest, most spontaneous and all-around amazing dude that I have now. I literally told myself, "Fuck this bad attitude I have. I'm going to talk to this guy RIGHT NOW."

    I dunno man, food for thought.
    Congrats.
    Philip Glass Ensemble - Philip Glass - Tycho - William Tyler - Nickel Creek - Jandek - The Mountain Goats - Hopscotch 2014

  11. #10871
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    OKC decided to be extra obnoxious and email me a match every day leading up to Christmas. This is what the first email contained:

    Ah, the Yule. Did you know that in ancient times, St. Nicholas was thought to ride around on a Yule Goat, carrying a big bowl of stew? Looking real crazy? It's a fact:

    Santa on goat with stew
    From Wikipedia's entry on "Yule Goat"

    Well, our idea of Christmas is a bit different. Instead of bringing you stew, we have hot matches—with potentially stew-like qualities. The man above could be very steamy, and might also have chunks of beef inside! But you'll never know until you strike up a conversation.

    So go for it. Message him!
    What?
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  12. #10872
    Dark Lord mountmccabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    What a great idea! How exciting, waiting for the other days!

    Some ideas:

    "The man above took a long time to come together but now he's delicious!"

    "We bet you'll love his presentation but it's the savory sauce that'll really catch your attention!"

    "He's a real meat and potatoes guy but don't worry, he's got a great carrot, too."
    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    See how wrong you are, Tommy? Randy is agreeing with you.

  13. #10873

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    katt grew balls and SoulDischarge wants to fornicate with a stew...

    I think it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Say goodbye to that acid, Greg.

  14. #10874
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I find most lower-end men are more attractive when simmered in cast iron over a period of hours and sprinkled with the juice of half a lemon and a pinch of minced sage to brighten things up before slicing into thin layers, especially if they've been frozen between purchase and preparation. Am I doing it?

  15. #10875
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I just zap mine in the microwave but that's probably because I was a latch key kid.

    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
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  16. #10876
    Member ENluv12's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by bug on your lip View Post
    katt grew balls and SoulDischarge wants to fornicate with a stew...

    I think it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
    Mayans were right?
    Quote Originally Posted by involvelemons View Post
    Silent discos are like having sex with a virgin: really exciting in theory, extremely awkward in execution.
    Quote Originally Posted by BROKENDOLL View Post
    I bet Cara's gotten enough Twats on a Platter and Dick on a Stick to open her own Trolls to Go snack shop.

  17. #10877
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    IceyHot has regressed and no longer feels the need for human emotion -

    The prophecy is not yet complete.

  18. #10878
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Those heartbreak posts from kitt kat were killing me not too long ago. Happy to hear that things have turned around.
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  19. #10879

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Mugwog View Post
    IceyHot has regressed and no longer feels the need for human emotion -

    The prophecy is not yet complete.
    Philip Glass Ensemble - Philip Glass - Tycho - William Tyler - Nickel Creek - Jandek - The Mountain Goats - Hopscotch 2014

  20. #10880
    Member RedHotSgtPeppers's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I don't feel like going through the 4 months of posts I missed on here, but is it safe to say that Icey still hasn't gotten laid yet?
    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    It's really boring when people use this thread to post about their successes.
    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    ...... hey im not posting anything in here about half raptor half alligator people

  21. #10881
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Yeah, reading 3 post before yours may have answered your question.

  22. #10882
    Member RedHotSgtPeppers's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Thanks Eric. Just making sure.
    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    It's really boring when people use this thread to post about their successes.
    Quote Originally Posted by getbetter View Post
    ...... hey im not posting anything in here about half raptor half alligator people

  23. #10883

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    You don't have to ask, ever. I promise you that won't change.
    Philip Glass Ensemble - Philip Glass - Tycho - William Tyler - Nickel Creek - Jandek - The Mountain Goats - Hopscotch 2014

  24. #10884

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    But seriously, talk about something else thanks
    Philip Glass Ensemble - Philip Glass - Tycho - William Tyler - Nickel Creek - Jandek - The Mountain Goats - Hopscotch 2014

  25. #10885
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Now don't say that. You could get raped.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  26. #10886

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Butt seriously
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Say goodbye to that acid, Greg.

  27. #10887
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    Now don't say that. You could get raped.
    Maybe he just needs his butt-cherry popped and iceyhot will become the slut he was destined to be

  28. #10888
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    1. I assume that unless someone knows me already, or is being introduced to me by someone who does, that they would like to be left alone. I do not intrude on others. I have never, and will never, initiated conversation with someone random in a bar, venue, or anywhere else because why would I? I know nothing about this person, so in all likelihood it will be a waste of my time.
    This is true for me as well, and I've been getting laid for approximately twice as long as you've been alive. give or take. so, it's no excuse.
    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    HAY CAN SOMEONE DRIVE DOWN TO THE FESTIVAL GROUNDS AND SEE IF THE BEER BARN IS REALLY A BARN?

  29. #10889

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Listen to gramps, he knows the way.
    Quote Originally Posted by bug on your lip View Post
    you ever get this uneasy feeling that everyone of us on this board is actually in Hell?

  30. #10890

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    This is true for me as well, and I've been getting laid for approximately twice as long as you've been alive. give or take. so, it's no excuse.
    3 words: Thai Sex Tours
    Quote Originally Posted by RotationSlimWang View Post
    Say goodbye to that acid, Greg.

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