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Thread: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

  1. #10681
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    See? And you guys think I talk out my ass...I'd be curious to know how this set of twins made it to marriage without something tipping them off like maybe, "Whoa, babe, that arm of yours looks like one I used to have!"
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  2. #10682
    Daft Punky Junkie BROKENDOLL's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    An even bigger question is, if conjoined twins who were separated at birth were to reunite and hook up, would it be for sex or masturbation?
    Its like the Infinite Monkey Theorem, if you put X amount of monkeys in a room with a typewriter and ask them to give you Shakespeare 99% of them will fling their shit at you while the other 1% will masturbate in the corner.

  3. #10683
    Entry level Alt kitt kat's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by HotHamWater View Post
    So maybe you're putting it on a pedestal
    Welcome to 300 pages ago.

  4. #10684

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Ditto?

  5. #10685

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I missed Tommy's post earlier. Weird. Anyway, I tend to only post in here when i feel most down on my "dating life" (in quotes due to lack of existence) and I also get stubborn in those situations, so I exaggerate.

    The simplest reasons I don't get action:
    1. I assume that unless someone knows me already, or is being introduced to me by someone who does, that they would like to be left alone. I do not intrude on others. I have never, and will never, initiated conversation with someone random in a bar, venue, or anywhere else because why would I? I know nothing about this person, so in all likelihood it will be a waste of my time.
    2. When random people talk to me, they almost always want something annoying. The same logic applies. They know nothing about me, so they have no reason to want to talk to me. Sometimes I actually end up having pleasant conversations with randoms before a show, but typically only with guys. All the women who approach me are unfailingly rude.
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  6. #10686

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Check out this old post I found on my facebook:

    "wow u joined a frat?? which one?? lol wow so i assume that ur enjoying urself... well im having the best time ever in college!! you should soooo visit me!! i love you so much ... i hope ur enjoykng college as much as i am !!"

    Result: Never visited, quit frat, deleted from friends.
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  7. #10687

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    I missed Tommy's post earlier. Weird. Anyway, I tend to only post in here when i feel most down on my "dating life" (in quotes due to lack of existence) and I also get stubborn in those situations, so I exaggerate.

    The simplest reasons I don't get action:
    1. I assume that unless someone knows me already, or is being introduced to me by someone who does, that they would like to be left alone. I do not intrude on others. I have never, and will never, initiated conversation with someone random in a bar, venue, or anywhere else because why would I? I know nothing about this person, so in all likelihood it will be a waste of my time.
    2. When random people talk to me, they almost always want something annoying. The same logic applies. They know nothing about me, so they have no reason to want to talk to me. Sometimes I actually end up having pleasant conversations with randoms before a show, but typically only with guys. All the women who approach me are unfailingly rude.
    Honest question. Are you Jewish?

  8. #10688

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    No.
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  9. #10689
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    I have never, and will never, initiated conversation with someone random in a bar, venue, or anywhere else because why would I? I know nothing about this person, so in all likelihood it will be a waste of my time.
    So how do you meet people or make friends?
    7/21 - !!! @ Club Congress (Tucson, AZ)
    8/23 - Galactic @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    8/25 - Future Islands @ 191 Toole (Tucson, AZ)
    10/11 - Carolina Chocolate Drops @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    11/10 - The Black Keys @ US Airways Center (Phoenix, AZ)
    4/10/15 - 4/12/15 - Coachella

  10. #10690

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by GuyInTucson View Post
    So how do you meet people or make friends?
    It happens rarely. A lot of times, through existing friends. Or if I join some kind of group I'm open to befriending people there since at least we have a common interest/goal.
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  11. #10691

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Okay. I'm going to ask it. I'm being serious. Are you attracted to the same sex? Just wondering. I havent read the thread completely.

  12. #10692

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Well, that would make things a hell of a lot easier. But, no.
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  13. #10693
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Have you considered a "Real Doll"?

  14. #10694
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    Well, that would make things a hell of a lot easier. But, no.
    No it wouldn't.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  15. #10695

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Ugggggh. I want to know! GI Joe! I'm rooting for you Icey. 2013 will be your year.

  16. #10696

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    2012 was actually the happiest and best year of my life by far.

    Let's face it, I have spent the vast majority of my life beinv single and there is an exceptionally small chance of that ever changing. I know this. I don't usually feel bad about it, but like anyone else I have times where I long for a partner, and those are typically the times I post in this thread.
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  17. #10697
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Have you met Menik?

  18. #10698
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    i think we need pics to know why you're really not getting laid.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  19. #10699

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    You're being rude just for the fun of it, but of course you're right. If women were attracted to me things would be different.
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  20. #10700
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    There has to be your Zooey Deschanel out there somewhere

  21. #10701

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    But it's not like what I was saying earlier is irrelevant, the two things work together. Even ugly guys can get laid if some other things work in their favor.
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  22. #10702
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    If I can get laid and have a girlfriend, anyone can.

  23. #10703
    old school buddy's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Dude, it's been said before, but you really just need to get over all your anxieties and just have sex that first time. Some of these fears, and awkward feelings with the opposite sex will dissipate afterwards. Also, can this thread be deleted?

  24. #10704
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Dude shut the fuck already and just try and have fun. Not to keep saying this but...

    Last edited by VigoTheCarpathian; 12-11-2012 at 04:54 PM.

  25. #10705

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Never going to happen.
    Edit: in reply to buddy
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  26. #10706
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    You sound a lot like me and my husband socially, which is a bad sign (as everyone will say).
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  27. #10707
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I bet the truth is, Icey has some girl squirting her pussy juice on his furry goatee right now.

  28. #10708
    Coachella Junkie GuyInTucson's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    Never going to happen.
    Are you completely against the idea or is just something you don't see happening?
    7/21 - !!! @ Club Congress (Tucson, AZ)
    8/23 - Galactic @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    8/25 - Future Islands @ 191 Toole (Tucson, AZ)
    10/11 - Carolina Chocolate Drops @ Rialto Theater (Tucson, AZ)
    11/10 - The Black Keys @ US Airways Center (Phoenix, AZ)
    4/10/15 - 4/12/15 - Coachella

  29. #10709
    LOLocaust Survivor Hannahrain's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    STOP FIXATING.

  30. #10710
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    You sound a lot like me and my husband socially, which is a bad sign (as everyone will say).
    *Bestiality joke*

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