It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

[saranater]

Online dating is really only good for hooking up. And even then...

[Dogvolta]

Locachica getting put on the blast

But in all seriousness, I think what a lot of people are finally realizing is that finding a "grown up" on these dating sites is fucking slim, whether the users are 20 or 40.
To be openly honest, I felt like such a tool trying to get a catch. It was definitely "shoot from the hip" to get results. When that crazy girl from UCI called me a douche bag on the phone a couple weeks ago (I posted about it here) it convinced me to cease all this online dating bullshit for two reasons: The results were incredibly discouraging, and maybe I WAS turning into a douche bag.

[chiapet]

Using online dating to hook up is simply not working for me. I'm not at all desperate enough to sleep with the awful guys that I end up going on dates with.

[OnlyNonStranger]

Plenty of fish has been bang on for me whereas OkCupid has been full of rejects. That being said I've had nothing but hookups from POF and had one long term relationship from OKC.

[saranater]

Plenty of fish has been bang on for me whereas OkCupid has been full of rejects. That being said I've had nothing but hookups from POF and had one long term relationship from OKC.

Wanna make out?

[chiapet]

I've skimmed POF without creating an account and the idea of sleeping with most of the people whose pictures pop up actually makes me a little queasy.

I'm probably pickier than I can afford to be.

[getbetter]

There is your problem.



I could not agree more. People always kept telling me that online dating is like speed dating and that you just have to sort through all the weeds to find a catch.
Ok, maybe they're right? But damn, I guess that stuff is just not my style. My whole (albeit short) online dating experience left a really sour taste in my mouth. I didn't like ANY of the women/girls I was coming across (whether it be through emailing, texting, calling, meeting, fucking). I do admit, I did fall for one of them, but she turned out to be a massive fail, and maybe that was because of me, I'll never know.
But most importantly, I didn't like how I felt while interacting with the whole online dating game. I felt like just another cheesedick among all the other cheesedicks.
Maybe I am a cheesedick.

You are probably a chessedick.Just learn to take it as it goes...

[TomAz]

I think Tom means a grown-up, mentally.

Actually I was just making fun of Audra for talking about 'boys' and 'girls' rather than men and women. But your point is valid.

[HotHamWater]

I always found it odd that adult men and women refer to each other as "boys" and "girls."

[grannock]

I'm probably pickier than I can afford to be.

I think this is usually the problem when people are completely unsuccessfull when it comes to dating. If your ideal person is attractive, social, fun loving, and financially stable, then you better be in the top 10% of single women as well if you want to have a chance....

Everyone has psotives and negatives, if you need someone that has no drawbacks, you better not have any either... I think we can all look at ourselves and realize we are far from perfect.

[OnlyNonStranger]

Wanna make out?

Probably.

[OnlyNonStranger]

I've skimmed POF without creating an account and the idea of sleeping with most of the people whose pictures pop up actually makes me a little queasy.

I'm probably pickier than I can afford to be.

Oh, it takes a bit of looking. In my area at least the selection is quite larger and browsing OKC makes me queasy.

[TomAz]

I always found it odd that adult men and women refer to each other as "boys" and "girls."

odd as in creepy, yes.

[locachica73]

I guess I don't see it as creepy. If I am going out with my friends I typically say I am going out with the girls, I am going out with the women sounds creepy to me. I have never heard a guy say he was going to go hang out with his men, it's always been boys. You MEN are so picky.

[chiapet]

I think this is usually the problem when people are completely unsuccessfull when it comes to dating. If your ideal person is attractive, social, fun loving, and financially stable, then you better be in the top 10% of single women as well if you want to have a chance....

I don't demand that a person be THAT attractive, nor that financially stable. But, I dunno, apparently I need to set my standards lower. :P

[marooko]

Ladies. Guys.

[SoulDischarge]

I think this is usually the problem when people are completely unsuccessfull when it comes to dating. If your ideal person is attractive, social, fun loving, and financially stable, then you better be in the top 10% of single women as well if you want to have a chance....

Everyone has psotives and negatives, if you need someone that has no drawbacks, you better not have any either... I think we can all look at ourselves and realize we are far from perfect.

I don't know what any of this means. What makes someone qualify to be in the top 10% of single people? Is there an exam you have to pass?

Being discerning and looking for "perfection" are not automatically analogous.

[HotHamWater]

I guess I don't see it as creepy. If I am going out with my friends I typically say I am going out with the girls, I am going out with the women sounds creepy to me. I have never heard a guy say he was going to go hang out with his men, it's always been boys. You MEN are so picky.

I just say "friends."

[locachica73]

Ladies. Guys.

I'm gonna go hang out with my ladies.... yep, creepy. Some people's creepy works for others though. Just embrace the differences!

[saranater]

I don't demand that a person be THAT attractive, nor that financially stable. But, I dunno, apparently I need to set my standards lower. :P

Ideally I want a phenomenal partner... but as I get older, I'm realizing just finding someone who is normal is hard enough. And I don't mean normal in the "doesn't actually exist" way, I mean normal in the "doesn't throw a fit and do drugs on a date for no apparent reason" way.

[TomAz]

I guess I don't see it as creepy. If I am going out with my friends I typically say I am going out with the girls, I am going out with the women sounds creepy to me. I have never heard a guy say he was going to go hang out with his men, it's always been boys. You MEN are so picky.

Girls and boys refer to children. Men and women refer to adults. It's really not any more complex than that Audra. Civilization.

[downingthief]

[locachica73]

Girls and boys refer to children. Men and women refer to adults. It's really not any more complex than that Audra. Civilization.

OK Tom, you win, I will no longer be a girl looking for a nice boy. I am now a WOMAN, looking for a MAN. I am sure that will make my dating life so much better. Thanks for helping me become civilized.

[amyzzz]

Just by saying that, you sound a lot more serious.

[saranater]

I'm not annoyed by people that say they are going to hang with their "girls" or "boys", but I seriously cringe every time I hear "boyfriend" or "girlfriend".... but then what do you call someone you're dating... "manfriend"? I usually use "significant other", but then people start assuming you're a lesbian. Which is fine...

[chiapet]

You call them a boyfriend or girlfriend, or "significant other," if you want to be pretentious. This whole conversation is ridiculous.

Nothing bothers me more than a female referring to her partner as "my man."

[locachica73]

How about if she calls him daddy... now that's fucking creepy.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

From now on I shall refer to Heather as Female Human Companion, which is really what i prefer anyway.

[ENluv12]

This is actually an interesting point. Boyfriend sounds so middle school, but there are not a lot of other options...

[guedita]

"Gentleman caller" and "Lady of the night"