It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

[jackstraw94086]

i'm smart enough to know when someone is only using me for sex. i'd imagine a woman with a larger waist is smart enough too. i find it absolutely absurd that larger women don't also get treated like shit by some men and have to decipher which ones are good for them and which ones aren't.

Way to go, you! You go ahead and show your solidarity with all the people not nearly as blindingly gorgeous as you seem to be.

[chairmenmeow47]

i got your point. that some how fuller-figured people only find people attracted to them for their personality and are always good for a relationship. more slender people are constantly in a fog of not knowing whether people like them or not because pretty people are so deceitful. i've known plenty of bigger women who have attracted douchebags not interested in a real relationship and nowhere near a good friend. props to your friend for figuring out how to sift through the crap, but it has nothing to do with weight. she obviously has a brain and uses it.

maybe i'm not the best example, but i certainly don't get hit on as much as other people assume i do. just because some guy makes a comment about my tits does not mean i'm wondering if he wants a relationship. actually, a lot of the bigger women in my life get a lot more play.

[miscorrections]

That's 'cause ugly fatties are desperate.

[TomAz]

And try harder to please.

[thefunkylama]

It's entirely fair to expect that a guy should want to have sex as long as one is open minded about how often is often enough for your partner. it's so rare that you think it might be a dealbreaker then is actually a dealbreaker. No harm no foul.
When guys leaves their 20's their libidos generally diminish to varying degrees, but there are a few mistakes women too often make in handling this:
1) interpreting less frequent interest in sex as diminishing attraction.
2) not simply jumping his fucking bones more often. He's almost always into it. Too many chicks learn when young that it's the guy's job to initiate sex. Penis will not always be delivered to your door on your ideal schedule. Sometimes you have to drive to the post office to pick up your package.
3) on the rare occasion that a sex offer is refused, don't take it personally. If there are no other signs that there's a problem in the relationship then sometimes not in the mood means not in the damn mood. We've had to endure that shit from women for years when our hormones were in the red zone. We survived.

These are all valid points. In the context of the relationship of which I refer, however:

- Bone-jumping has never, not once, not ever, been successful.
- The male in question is in his mid-20's, and claims a strong and active libido.
- Conversation about the topic is uncomfortable: initially just for him, but now for both parties.

[guedita]

Frankly I'm sick of men telling me that they'd only consider getting in relationship with me if I developed a personality to match my rocking body.

[ThatGirl]

These are all valid points. In the context of the relationship of which I refer, however:

- Bone-jumping has never, not once, not ever, been successful.
- The male in question is in his mid-20's, and claims a strong and active libido.
- Conversation about the topic is uncomfortable: initially just for him, but now for both parties.

So you've tried to have sex, and it didn't work? Can you comfortably elaborate here?

[jackstraw94086]

i got your point. that some how fuller-figured people only find people attracted to them for their personality and are always good for a relationship. more slender people are constantly in a fog of not knowing whether people like them or not because pretty people are so deceitful. i've known plenty of bigger women who have attracted douchebags not interested in a real relationship and nowhere near a good friend. props to your friend for figuring out how to sift through the crap, but it has nothing to do with weight. she obviously has a brain and uses it.

maybe i'm not the best example, but i certainly don't get hit on as much as other people assume i do. just because some guy makes a comment about my tits does not mean i'm wondering if he wants a relationship. actually, a lot of the bigger women in my life get a lot more play.

The point was not to characterize the sex life of a thin girl vs. a thicker one. It was ONLY that it may generally be possible to get a read on a particular person based on what kind of comments they make about preferring only thin women. It says nothing about whether there are tons of other kinds of guys that do happen to prefer thicker women, or what their motivations might be in pursuing them. Nor was there any suggestion that dating is objectively easier for thicker girls or even harder. It was just that the societal stigma against fuller framed women may just work in one's favor if they are comfortable with themselves and are not into guys that play into it, whether it be from lack of personal depth or insecurity.

Sure some other guys may be indescrimant pricks and be perfectly willing to take advantage of girls regardless of size (or even because of it), but at least the ones that broadcast themselves as shallow pricks are more easily spotted as they comfortably spout off about it believing that society gave them license.

[jackstraw94086]

These are all valid points. In the context of the relationship of which I refer, however:

- Bone-jumping has never, not once, not ever, been successful.
- The male in question is in his mid-20's, and claims a strong and active libido.
- Conversation about the topic is uncomfortable: initially just for him, but now for both parties.

jump a new set of bones. Just sayin'.


also, if someone has to tout his strong libido, he doesn't have one.

[ThatGirl]

jump a new set of bones. Just sayin'.


also, if someone has to tout his strong libido, he doesn't have one.

I concur.

[thefunkylama]

So you've tried to have sex, and it didn't work? Can you comfortably elaborate here?

Let me not give that impression. Sex has happened. Proper, p-in-v intercourse has happened, with at least one partner reaching climax, and both were enthusiastic about it. The last time was sometime in June, however, and lady-initiated intercourse has been successful once, but not within the last 6 months. Other sexual activities take place at irregular intervals, and lady-initiated activities are successful about 40% of the time; they are, however, typically one-sided.

[ThatGirl]

Let me not give that impression. Sex has happened. Proper, p-in-v intercourse has happened, with at least one partner reaching climax, and both were enthusiastic about it. The last time was sometime in June, however, and lady-initiated intercourse has been successful once, but not within the last 6 months. Other sexual activities take place at irregular intervals, and these lady-initiated activities are successful about 40% of the time; they are, however, typically one-sided.

If your sex life is a priority for you, you should address this. Not only addressing the issue in itself, but what happened to make things change. If it's so uncomfortable to discuss, you have to wonder if this is a person you can continue an intimate relationship with.

[chairmenmeow47]

Sure some other guys may be indescrimant pricks and be perfectly willing to take advantage of girls regardless of size (or even because of it), but at least the ones that broadcast themselves as shallow pricks are more easily spotted as they comfortably spout off about it believing that society gave them license.

ok well yeah, when a person who doesn't posses a quality someone else finds attractive are easily dismissed as not a good candidate for dating.

[Dogvolta]

I can honestly say I have never hit on or dated or fucked a woman because she had big tits.
And looking back on all the years, I guess I'm more of an attractive face/personality/not overweight type of guy.
I never really thought about it in regards to how big her tits are. Maybe I just don't have the looks/game to have the convenience of frivulously fucking a woman cuz her tits are big.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Have you ever thought about a woman when you masturbated because of her big tits?

[jackstraw94086]

There's one physical attribute that will pretty much seal the deal for me and redeem a chick in a ton of other areas. No girl I've ever been with has ever known what it is though.

And I agree huge tits are not nearly as popular as most girls used to think. I feel like these days girls generally seem to get that though. The whole big tit thing is pretty much just sitcom fodder at this point.

[mountmccabe]

You seem to bbelowe misunderstanding entirely. People are attracted to different things. Frivolity has nothing to do with it.

This is the same mistake you're making with regard to being offended by people who don't appear to be in as good shape as you; that's just one thing and not everyone cares about it as much as you do.

Does it make sense for me to be offended at all these people that aren't as good at math as I am? Should people be offended at my poor sense of direction or poor eyesight?

What are you average at? Are you trying to offend us?

[Dogvolta]

You seem to bbelowe misunderstanding entirely. People are attracted to different things. Frivolity has nothing to do with it.

This is the same mistake you're making with regard to being offended by people who don't appear to be in as good shape as you; that's just one thing and not everyone cares about it as much as you do.

Does it make sense for me to be offended at all these people that aren't as good at math as I am? Should people be offended at my poor sense of direction or poor eyesight?

What are you average at? Are you trying to offend us?

You make a good point. I'm not going to try to defend my comment about the seemingly high population of bbw on online dating sites, hell, I'll admit it probably was shallow for me to say such a comment.
I stand corrected.

And yes, big tit facination is sitcom fodder, well worded.

[miscorrections]

It's not shallow to state that there's a higher percentage of overweight women on dating sites. I'd bet that is factually correct. And it's not a big problem to exclude them from your dating pool - everyone has aesthetic likes and dislikes, and if you know your particular dislikes are 100% dealbreakers then better to know that and move on.

Granted, I feel like most people don't necessarily broadcast their preferences, for fear of being seen as shallow/cruel/whatever, but everyone has them.

[IceyHotshot]

Boring.

[HotHamWater]

That's not to say you shouldn't have fun when presented with big tits, it's just not really as important to men as women are led to believe.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

I like skinny tanned white chicks with toned abs and small brains.

[algunz]

I love big tits, but they're always better when they come with a big brain and a pretty face attached. The rest is inconsequential.

[mountmccabe]

It's not shallow to state that there's a higher percentage of overweight women on dating sites. I'd bet that is factually correct. And it's not a big problem to exclude them from your dating pool - everyone has aesthetic likes and dislikes, and if you know your particular dislikes are 100% dealbreakers then better to know that and move on.

Granted, I feel like most people don't necessarily broadcast their preferences, for fear of being seen as shallow/cruel/whatever, but everyone has them.

Co-signed.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

hu?

[Tubesock Shakur]

Why is interpersonal attraction so over analyzed?

[VigoTheCarpathian]

TRUTH: you end up falling in love with peoples imperfections anyways.

[guedita]

Thanks for that truth nugget, Vigo. The world never knew.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Its called the Romantic Mans Burden

[guedita]

It's also called irrelevant to the thing that was actually being discussed.