It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

[sonnyboy11]

I'm trying to keep a low profile. When I contracted the disease, I thought it'd grab attention, but now I realize what a desperate affectation it is, and I'd rather just minimize the shame. I knew I shouldn't have let that salesman talk me out of the intestinal bleeding. Intestinal bleeding is timeless like a pair of well fitting jeans. Syphilis is a beret and a handlebar mustache.

That is pure poetry.

/clap

[SlowMotionApocalypse]

I haven't been on a date since 1998

[Starraven]

Blowjobs are better than sex. That's what I usually go for anyway. I haven't actually had real sex since last summer though I am going to see if my favorite B&G girl will let me next time. Just because.

SlowMotionApocalypse really is one of the more subtle efficient trolls we've had here in a long time.

hmm

[suprefan]

so you'd rather drag it out for months and months and months? save yourself the fuckin' grief and just do it. if you are upfront and he isn't into you what happens? does the world end? are you ostracized from humanity? no. you go your separate ways and move on. my god.

Im sure her life coach said the same thing. But she probably isnt listening to somebody she is paying to advise her about shit like this. Then comes here for free advice and still doesn't listen to it.

[JustSteve]

That is pure poetry.

/clap

I thought it was syphilis?

[Devin the Dude]

yarrrrrrrr

[mountmccabe]

Syphilis is a beret and a handlebar mustache.

I hope future board member Syphilis reveals are done pictorially.

[locachica73]

I went to play poker last night, I had a guy hit on me, unfortunately he didn't meet the new must have a car rule. The only reason I know this is because he was wearing a bike helmet... in the bar. Or maybe he was just worried about falling down. I always attract such winners.

There was also the creepy little dude I knew from another bar awhile back. He had met my daughter when she was 16 and tried hitting on her. I told him then that I would fucking kill him if he even looked at her sideways again. Last night his first words to me were "So your daughter is 18 now right". I passed the creep magnet onto my daughter.

[algunz]

Maybe the motorcycle is just for the occasional joyride?

[locachica73]

Maybe the motorcycle is just for the occasional joyride?

It wasn't a motorcycle helmet, it was a bicycle helmet. He left it on the entire night while playing cards too, which I just found strange.

He also only tipped 35 cents for his beer.

[algunz]

I hope you never really thought about him as a genuine possibility.

[locachica73]

Oh hell no, although he was a persistant little weirdo. It just made me realize I need new hobbies and new bars. I am thinking about joining one of those meetup sites for singles. I want to find a group of people to play pool with, but I don't want to do the dating site thing because people just assume that automatically leads to a hookup. I just want to kick some ass at pool.

[Robin]

I would have assumed he didn't want to drink and drive, and therefore he took his bicycle. Keeping the helmet on is weird, unless he thinks he might lose it. But the cheap tipping is where I would draw the line.

Again Audra, come to SF and we'll shoot some pool. I haven't used my stick since I moved out here. Pretty sure I'm super rusty now.
I don't put out on the first date, FYI.

[fatbastard]

Winners indeed.

[locachica73]

I would have assumed he didn't want to drink and drive, and therefore he took his bicycle. Keeping the helmet on is weird, unless he thinks he might lose it. But the cheap tipping is where I would draw the line.

Again Audra, come to SF and we'll shoot some pool. I haven't used my stick since I moved out here. Pretty sure I'm super rusty now.
I don't put out on the first date, FYI.

I have never actually been to San Francisco, I would love to come out there sometime soon and meet up with all of you SF folks. Your invites are moving it up my list of travel destinations very quickly. Do you at least make out on the first date? If so I might book a trip for next month, I haven't made out in a month... BOO!

[Robin]

Booking a trip out here is dependent on if I make out on the first date? Well, then the answer is YES!

[JorgeC]

i put out on a first date.

[locachica73]

Whoo Hooo. OK, when does the sun shine in San Francisco? Do you all have july gloom like san diego has june gloom?

Jorge... Do you own a car?

[xuclarockerx]

I think their warm season is September-October if I'm not mistaken.

[Robin]

Whoo Hooo. OK, when does the sun shine in San Francisco? Do you all have july gloom like san diego has june gloom?

Jorge... Do you own a car?

You should come for Outside Lands or Treasure Island.

[locachica73]

I just looked up Outside Lands and am very interested, but my son turns 18 on Monday and as his gift he has asked me to buy him an airline ticket to go see this chick he really likes who moved to fucking anchorage... $600+ for a ticket and he wants to go at the end of August. I am going to have to hold off on making any plans until I can find him a cheaper ticket. If not October for Treasure Island might work out better, even though I don't know the lineup I am sure it would be a great time either way.

[SlowMotionApocalypse]

I just looked up Outside Lands and am very interested, but my son turns 18 on Monday and as his gift he has asked me to buy him an airline ticket to go see this chick he really likes who moved to fucking anchorage... $600+ for a ticket and he wants to go at the end of August. I am going to have to hold off on making any plans until I can find him a cheaper ticket. If not October for Treasure Island might work out better, even though I don't know the lineup I am sure it would be a great time either way.

Buy a one way ticket and consider it an investment for your future

[locachica73]

Man, I really like the way you think. Although, as much as I want him to move out, I really need him to be close enough that I can rescue him. Anchorage is a little out my rescue area.

[SlowMotionApocalypse]

Man, I really like the way you think. Although, as much as I want him to move out, I really need him to be close enough that I can rescue him. Anchorage is a little out my rescue area.

Too bad I don't have a car. I might be able to find a bicycle helmet though and I always leave nice tips.

[Robin]

my son turns 18 on Monday and as his gift he has asked me to buy him an airline ticket to go see this chick he really likes who moved to fucking anchorage.

The sex better be worth it.

Anyone else travel great distances for a hook up? I think the furthest I've ever gone was a 1.5 hr drive.

[amyzzz]

Damn, your son likes someone who moved to Alaska? Geez. Can't he find someone here to like?

[amyzzz]

The sex better be worth it.

Anyone else travel great distances for a hook up? I think the furthest I've ever gone was a 1.5 hr drive.

I went from AZ to Canada to meet up with a guy. He was odd. Too skinny for me and had a stripper girlfriend. He had a recording studio in his house. Not one of my best moments.

[OnlyNonStranger]

You went somewhere to meet up with someone who already had a girlfriend?

[amyzzz]

Like I said, not one of my best moments.

[SlowMotionApocalypse]

Like I said, not one of my best moments.

Reading stuff like this perfectly justifies my chosen lifestyle.