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Thread: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

  1. #14551
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I removed him from my Facebook altogether when we first split up, but we do text and call regarding the dog. But I'm still Facebook friends with his mother. It's true if we didn't have the dog it would be far easier to maintain distance. But even still we bump into each other with friends or in our neighborhood. I guess it's not a big deal, but it's just another thing that keeps us connected.
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I'm not sure about the emergency contact thing. I guess you would have to decide for yourself if you want to be involved if something bad happens to him. My ex-husband did not want to be my contact even while we were still married (but separated), and we share children. I switched it up to be my brother.

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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    I guess you would have to decide for yourself if you want to be involved if something bad happens to him.
    This is partly my concern, as I feel I'd still be the only one in his life that would take on responsibility for helping him out if something happened, or having to manage his personal affairs if he was somehow incapacitated, since his mother is on the other side of the world. To some extent it opens up a bit of a can of worms.
    Last edited by ThatGirl; 06-12-2014 at 07:25 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
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    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  4. #14554
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Tell him you'll do it if he lets you write his will. Case closed.

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  5. #14555
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    HAHAHA...yeah, he wouldn't even put me in his will when we were together. I'm going to think about it a bit more but it's possible I may tell him I'm not comfortable.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  6. #14556
    old school JorgeC's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    This is probably bad advice, but i'm a pushover and always say yes to people. Tell him okay for now but that you'd like to revisit in 6 months or a year. He wants to keep you because it's the most convenient (you know everyone), but it is a very uncomfortable situation, so hopefully you can give him suggestions on other mutual friends that could fill in. I'd also revisit the situation as soon as you hear that he's a little more serious with his new SO, tell him it's time for her to take on that responsibility.
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  7. #14557
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Yes, I thought about that as well. He is dating someone he has been friends with a while, kind of like me. So maybe over time it will be easier to transition the responsibility to another person in his life.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  8. #14558
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    As long as this is just a transitional time, maybe it won't be a bad idea, for now, and you can bring this up again later if his relationship progresses to a more serious thing.

  9. #14559
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    so i had a date with a lawyer i met on match. he is cute and we had good conversation. we went for coffee/tea. he doesn't drink. we both just joined the site. not sure this will go anywhere because of the no drinking thing and his "not sure" response to kids, but it is nice to be moving my life forward again!
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  10. #14560
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Great that you had a nice date - they all don't have to go anywhere, sometimes getting out and just going a date is good practice.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  11. #14561
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    For the people on the side of "letting someone keep you as their emergency contact is another way of prolonging the connection," um... I mean wouldn't her ex have to be a complete sociopath to actually play that card? I mean like, he'd have to be the kind of crazy where he takes a bunch of pills just to go to the hospital just to get her called?

    By which I mean, wouldn't he have to be a chick?
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  12. #14562
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Ha. Yeah that would be nuts. He'd never do anything intentionally, but I just don't want to be on the hook if something bad does happen, and then I'll be expected to step in and manage his life. I think it's because I'm the most stable, reliable person in his life and he knows he could count on me. But this goes back to letting him rely on me too heavily when we're not together anymore.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  13. #14563
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    From you are saying, I think you should once and for all decide who gets to keep the dog, take your name off of his emergency forms, and 100% stop communication with him and his mother.
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  14. #14564
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I hear what you are saying. Unfortunately neither of us is willing to give up the dog. He has an equal claim to her since we bought her together. I could be a heinous bitch and go to court to get full ownership, but the cost of that process would be ridiculous. So here is where we are.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  15. #14565
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Sounds like someone needs a surprise puppy!
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Sounds like the dog needs a lawyer.
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  17. #14567
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    That is funnier than it should be at 7 am.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  18. #14568
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I mean, I think the more likely scenario for an emergency contact is "I just got into a car accident and I'm out of it, I need someone to call my family and let them know." As someone who lives across the country from the family I'd want contacted, generally speaking I have to list the person I'm having sex with, whether it be a girlfriend or one of my gay roommates.
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  19. #14569
    Member fetuspiniata's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    How old is the dog? Most dogs live to be 15 years old, with some living 20+ years.(oldest dog on record was almost 30) Do you really want to be attached to each other that long? And while I am no dog expert, I am pretty sure that shared custody is not the best thing for the dog. The workplace emergency contact thing is just silly. We live in a world where being on the other side of the planet really doesn't mean much in terms of contact. In fact it almost seems counter productive to have you listed because you will essentially just be a middle man between his work and his mother. It's not like he has given you power of attorney or anything. As far as the cellphone emergency contact goes, I would have him put his new SO in there because that is really only going to be used if someone finds his lost cellphone.
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  20. #14570
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    We did have two dogs. The one we still have is only 2.5 yrs old. Originally if our other dog (which was originally his) hadn't died of cancer, I'm sure I would have kept the puppy and he would have kept the older one and we'd have gone our separate ways. Part of the reason I think he wanted to share was because we lost Maggie and he was still hurting from that. I'm settled in the idea that we will continue sharing the dog, and that aspect of it is going ok. She has two happy homes and the bonus is I never have to pay to put the dog in a kennel if I go out of town. However I am going to see how this other SO of his works out and gradually make the suggestion that a transition of the emergency contact is the best thing. Thanks for the input folks.
    Last edited by ThatGirl; 06-16-2014 at 04:32 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  21. #14571
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I'm never getting a pet with anyone.
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    It's just a dog. Move on and get a new one. This is fucking insane.
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  23. #14573
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by greghead View Post
    It's just a dog. Move on and get a new one. This is fucking insane.
    I don't have kids and I never will have kids. Maybe if you were in that position you might feel differently about pets.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  24. #14574
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I have two kids but you couldn't give me enough money to give up my dog.

    Marlo not sure what you're fearing here. It may be a bit of an odd request but it doesn't seem unreasonable given the circumstances. I mean is the guy gonna go around and tell his buddies, "heh heh, yeah, i'm banging this new chick now but I still got my ex as an emergency contact on the side, heh heh."
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    generally speaking I have to list the person I'm having sex with, whether it be a girlfriend or one of my gay roommates.
    Everyone just letting this one slip by? okay, i'll take the bait. OMG RANDY, PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT ALL YOUR HOT GAY SEX.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    I have two kids but you couldn't give me enough money to give up my dog.

    Marlo not sure what you're fearing here. It may be a bit of an odd request but it doesn't seem unreasonable given the circumstances. I mean is the guy gonna go around and tell his buddies, "heh heh, yeah, i'm banging this new chick now but I still got my ex as an emergency contact on the side, heh heh."
    I thought it seemed reasonable initially, and I said yes right away, but in retrospect, my concerns are that I am trying to distance myself from his life, which is tough enough given the dog thing.. and I really don't want to be on the hook to manage things for him if something bad happens to him, given there is no one else and his only family member is half a world away.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  27. #14577
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    On the hook? for what? "Joe's been in a car crash, it doesn't look good." "OK. Can I come get Fido now?"
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  28. #14578
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    On the hook? for what? "Joe's been in a car crash, it doesn't look good." "OK. Can I come get Fido now?"
    So, the in case of emergency person gets called and then doesn't have to do anything to help? Somehow I didn't think that was how it worked. I was under the impression that the in case of emergency person shows up and actually demonstrates some amount of support.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  29. #14579
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    If you decide not to do anything, you run the risk of getting ticketed by the Emergency Contact Police.

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  30. #14580
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Maybe just the morality police.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

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