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Thread: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

  1. #14461
    old school frizzlefry's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    No it hasn't, not really, she did make a point to say that she has a habit to try and pay for everything on dates. We normally treat the other intermittently but she has definitely spent more throughout the dates. I really don't even feel bad, I just don't want to build any resentment.
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  2. #14462
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    The best thing to do is keep it equal, even if she feels obligated to pay more often. I often have to push to pay equally because the guy feels it's his gentlemanly duty to pay, but fuck that shit. We all make money and can pay our own way. I don't need to have a guy cover my tab just because he's the guy.

    side note -women in their 40s are crazy horny sex maniacs.
    Last edited by ThatGirl; 05-14-2014 at 09:15 PM.
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  3. #14463
    Cobra psychic friend's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    i dont see why it cant be proportionate to income. if someone makes 75% more they could pay 75% more of/on dates (if both parties are comfortable with that)..if they chose to go to more pricey places for example.
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  4. #14464
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Hmm that's where I think it gets tricky. I make more money, but my expenses with living alone and supporting a house on my own are way higher. I have less spending cash at my disposal. My date has almost no mortgage and shares a house with his brother. We don't go to pricey places, in fact we prefer dodgy cheap hole in the wall spots. For us going dutch works but every couple is different, provided resentments don't surface like what frizzle alluded to.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  5. #14465
    Cobra psychic friend's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    well right so in that case it wouldnt apply. . im on board for 50/50 and have often been the bread winner in my past relationships, but ended up probably paying more often because i knew i could afford it. i even have issues letting the guy pay in full but am TRYING to get over that. lol
    .................................................. ..............
    She added the phrase "meany head" to my profile.
    I hardly think I'm an attention whore.
    I train birds of prey and am I licensed falconer

  6. #14466
    Dark Lord mountmccabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    The best thing to do is keep it equal, even if she feels obligated to pay more often.
    I think it's reasonable to aim for roughly equal but keeping a running tally (not that you mean it that strongly, ThatGirl) to me isn't fun or sexy. Being over-concerned with who's paying what makes it all about money, exacerbates any issues by keeping them in the forefront.

    It doesn't sound like you're being unconcerned or taking advantage of her so I see no issue. You're paying sometimes, and I'm assuming she's not complaining. She's choosing to date you and if she wants to spend money on having a good time she should be able to. That is if she thinks paying your way sometimes is a good use of her money then great! If you're fretting the whole time you're out she's going to change her mind. If you're declining offers because you want to match what she spends it's not going to go well.

    She may eventually decide that she wants to date someone more financially successful, but worrying about it is more likely to bring that on. There are a million other things that could go wrong it isn't helpful to create problems.


    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I often have to push to pay equally because the guy feels it's his gentlemanly duty to pay, but fuck that shit. We all make money and can pay our own way. I don't need to have a guy cover my tab just because he's the guy.
    Now that's a different thing entirely.
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  7. #14467
    old school ThatGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by mountmccabe View Post
    I think it's reasonable to aim for roughly equal but keeping a running tally (not that you mean it that strongly, ThatGirl) to me isn't fun or sexy. Being over-concerned with who's paying what makes it all about money, exacerbates any issues by keeping them in the forefront.
    Were both pretty casual about it and it works. If he gets the tab for lunch, I'll get the dinner tab. But if one of us offers to treat for a special occasion or something that's different. It doesn't have to be rigid, just generally fair.
    Quote Originally Posted by M Sparks View Post
    It's all riding on this. You've got big dreams to ride to the top of the Flash Mob world. Well internet fame costs. And right now is when you start paying for it...in sweat.
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  8. #14468
    Dark Lord mountmccabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Sounds good! If you're happy with it, that's what's important. I've seen it get ridiculous and in the past have myself been too caught up in who pays for what, but not every relationship is going to go that way.
    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    See how wrong you are, Tommy? Randy is agreeing with you.

  9. #14469
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    My ex-bf paid for most of stuff but every once in a while I paid. I was unemployed for much of our relationship, so it made sense.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  10. #14470
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I use to try to cover dating costs more often because I felt it was my job since I made more money and considered myself an independent woman. I also have a lot more expenses though, and would spend money I shouldn't because I wanted to go out and felt bad about having the guy pay. I went to pay a tab the other day and had to think a lot harder about how much to tip than I should have. I realized it had been several months since I had paid a tab. I felt bad for a minute. I think it should just depend on who has more "extra" money at the time.
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  11. #14471
    old school frizzlefry's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Yeah I haven't really stressed about it, except she did treat to me a really nice oyster bar, the bartender even handed me the check directly and then she snatched it claiming that because I drove us around a state park all day that she should cover it. I would have protested but it was a pretty hefty bill so I just resigned in my head to get her next time, or to just sex her up later that night cause I'm just an object like that now I guess.
    Quote Originally Posted by pachucasunrise View Post
    Thought this said Of Mice & Men. Now THAT'S a scary thought...
    Quote Originally Posted by iantmcfarland View Post
    Just don't schedule them anywhere near White Rabbits.

  12. #14472
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    She wanted to treat you. Learn to accept it graciously.
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  13. #14473

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by frizzlefry View Post
    Yeah I haven't really stressed about it, except she did treat to me a really nice oyster bar, the bartender even handed me the check directly and then she snatched it claiming that because I drove us around a state park all day that she should cover it. I would have protested but it was a pretty hefty bill so I just resigned in my head to get her next time, or to just sex her up later that night cause I'm just an object like that now I guess.
    She pays for your oysters. You eat her clams without question. That's the deal.

  14. #14474

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I want to see psychic friend's appearance if haven't already. Is she asian?
    The pilgrimage is not perfected save by copulation with the camel.

  15. #14475
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Like, the Asianest.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
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  16. #14476

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    thought so, but anyone else (not sure if I believe that guy)?
    The pilgrimage is not perfected save by copulation with the camel.

  17. #14477
    old school frizzlefry's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    She wanted to treat you. Learn to accept it graciously.
    Sexy times aren't gracious?

    Quote Originally Posted by pablomoney View Post
    She pays for your oysters. You eat her clams without question. That's the deal.
    You're just...a terrible person
    Quote Originally Posted by pachucasunrise View Post
    Thought this said Of Mice & Men. Now THAT'S a scary thought...
    Quote Originally Posted by iantmcfarland View Post
    Just don't schedule them anywhere near White Rabbits.

  18. #14478
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    inward as well as outward grace.
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  19. #14479
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    can I say I'm back in the bone zone?
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  20. #14480

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by frizzlefry View Post
    You're just...a terrible person
    I'm really a romantic, so to see your reaction to my crude joke being that gives me hope that your relationship is something much more worthwhile than a meaningless throw.

    On topic, don't let the social constructs of gender roles or playing into a reversal of them trip you up. Money means nothing to some people, so in her mind, the gesture of you driving around with her in itself had equal value to the meal. Instead of thinking in terms of dollar signs, consider the cost of effort and time. Oh, and maybe she just really likes you and hopes that by showing no stress in her paying, it sends you the message that it's a serious/trustworthy relationship you've gotten yourself into.

  21. #14481

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    can I say I'm back in the bone zone?
    passivetheory?

  22. #14482
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    he doesn't live AZ.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  23. #14483

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Ahh so what you are saying is that it was definitely an AZ boardie... Whatever the case, git it, sister!

  24. #14484
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    spill it, amy. inquiring minds, etc etc.
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  25. #14485
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    No, I meant passivetheory doesn't live in AZ. It's an okcupid guy, and I'm afraid of spilling too much anymore in case he ever finds out. I told you all too much about my french guy after all.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  26. #14486
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    But I'm afraid if I don't find someone already into bdsm, I'm going to get labeled as a freak. :/
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  27. #14487
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    did this guy take your whole fist too
    Quote Originally Posted by efrain44 View Post
    Anyone know who the guy in the Cardinals jersey is? I've seen him in pictures on the board and I thought I saw him this year.

  28. #14488
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    He is not into butts. or fisting. As far as I know.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  29. #14489
    Member Archie Bunker's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    But I'm afraid if I don't find someone already into bdsm, I'm going to get labeled as a freak. :/
    Wait, you're into BDSM?

    Boy I've learned a lot about you in the past year or so.
    Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

  30. #14490
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I can live without fisting. A guy has to know how to do it before I want it to be done.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

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