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Thread: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

  1. #14191
    Member birdiearch's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Picnic was my idea.

  2. #14192
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Of course it was.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  3. #14193
    Member birdiearch's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    But really.

  4. #14194
    old school HotHamWater's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Good for him for not wanting to acknowledge it. If he treats you well every day of the year, it shouldn't matter if he makes a big deal about Valentine's Day. I went on a 1st date (maybe somewhat of a 2nd date) with someone on Wednesday night. I'm calling her tonight, but only to make plans for some time in the next few days. She's going out tonight with one of her female friends, and I likely have a date with my iPod. We'll get together soon. Everybody wins.

  5. #14195
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    my dad worked nights a lot as a kid. for my family, the holiday is when you celebrate it.

    though i will admit i make it clear to every guy i date that i love valentine's day cards and would like one. i posted over 30 cards on my girlfriend's walls today on facebook :x
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  6. #14196
    Member djbionik's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Thank god my friends got dumped a few weeks ago so I can have a girls night at my place. Vodka, stoner fruit pies and Cosmo quizzes. This is 30.
    02,06,07,08,10,11,13,

  7. #14197
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I'm making my man a cheesy card and giving him a DVD of a French TV series.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Because fucking millenials that's what

  8. #14198
    Pedley Rocks JustSteve's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    9 years into my relationship with my wife and still make the day a fun one. I have fun doing it. And it's not just a once a year thing, either. Go out to a nice breakfast because fuck prix fixe menus and reservation chaos and it's a third of the cost, make her favorite dinner at home, kids go to grandma's. Fun little gifts throughout the day, nothing extravagant, a little homemade card. There are ways to celebrate this fake holiday and not buy into the commercialization aspect. Hate bitter people who spout off about how horrible the day is. But hey, what do I know being in a wonderful, committed relationship almost a decade old?
    Last edited by JustSteve; 02-14-2014 at 12:04 PM.

  9. #14199

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Did a homemade card using a pre-canned MS Publisher “Valentine’s Day 4” scheme with our picture on the cover, her laying on bed in underwear on the insert, and a Shakespeare quote I don’t fully understand but left in anyway (“O, How I love thee! How I dote on thee!”…think it’s about male orgasm) along with a new yoga mat and couple outfits. Happy hour drinks at Sandy’s on HB Pier and, after refraining from booze M-Th this year, will possibly be too sauced and whiskey dicked to consummate the special day. Muster up strength to dote on thee!
    The pilgrimage is not perfected save by copulation with the camel.

  10. #14200

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    the Branches candy hearts are so addicting. Even attempting to stay current by updating with messages like "LOL" and "Text Me".
    The pilgrimage is not perfected save by copulation with the camel.

  11. #14201
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    aww, you guys sound sweet!

    i am obviously single and doing the people-i-am-currently-fucking a favor by leaving them alone today. instead, an old friend got in contact with me last night and we're going to see robocop at a casino and eat hot wings. i was a little disappointed though to find out though that there is a new remake of robocop and it's not the original, but still should be fun
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  12. #14202
    Coachella Junkie Drinkey McDrinkerstein's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I had an ex that was completely fucking obsessed with Valentine's and anniversaries and things like that and made a giant deal out of it and it made me crazy. Heather is not really interested, so we don't acknowledge it outside of knowing that we probably don't want to go out to eat anywhere nice that day when it comes around because everythng is so crowded.

    However, seeing Spiritualized tonight is pretty fucking special, since Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space is a favorite album of both of ours, so we'll be having an incredible night despite not giving each other gifts and saying "happy Valentine's Day." We are also both looking forward to hanging out with lots of friends at bars before and after the show.
    last.fm
    6/15/14 Failure - Glasshouse // 7/9/14 Cloud Nothings/Metz - Roxy
    7/16/14 Planes Mistaken For Stars - Echo // 8/23-24/14 FYF Fest - Expo Park //8/25/14 Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl // 9/12-14/14 Riotfest - Humboldt Park, Chicago, IL
    9/18/14 Neutral Milk Hotel - Hollywood Bowl

  13. #14203
    Member birdiearch's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    HotHam - congrats on the lady! Yeah, I never said I was disappointed that he wants to be non-traditional. Last year, my ex pulled all the stops for a cliché V-Day. I wanted just one of those, so I'm satisfied now!

    Bionik - sounds like a ball!

    The rest of you fellas have great ideas!

  14. #14204
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Wtf. Courtesy of the Freakonomics blog, one of the most offensive pseudo-scientific arguments I have seen in a long time:


  15. #14205

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    All that sluttin' around you do devalues my c*nt.

    I also love the little PSA at the end that If only women worked together we could make men pay a decent price for the sex we sell them. Hahhahaha.

  16. #14206
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    oh sweet jesus. that was painful.
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  17. #14207
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    First of all, I'm amused that this is now the thread where we just post insane dating related internet pieces and no longer the thread where we share our own dating woes and harangue Icey.

    But also: lolololol

    In the United States, residents between the ages of 15 to 64 split evenly along gender lines. But men and women are not distributed equitably across the country—men are overrepresented in Alaska and North Dakota, for example, while women reign in Delaware and Maryland. Group dating service The Dating Ring hopes to begin to bridge that geographical divide by crowdfunding the transportation of single women from New York City (where they outnumber men) to San Francisco (which has the opposite problem). If you donate to the company’s Crowdtilt page, you can fund a trip for yourself (or a female New Yorker of your choice) to make the cross-country trip to attend a Bay Area mixer over Memorial Day filled with marriageable San Francisco dudes.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  18. #14208

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    caught the maid using her fingernails to scrape a mound of dried up cum off the hardwood floor under my computer desk, picked up a piece and licked it with eyes closed. "What you do?". I said I'd be callin the police, just to her all riled and anxious scurrying around the room mentally without exit, then pulled down her lycra pants which smelled of that cheap mexican laundry detergent and had given her the appearance of a stuffed sausage. “I worked at Marshall’s and know that smell”. Opened with doggie before cumming in her mouth so she could try the freshness of a trip to Krispy Kreme when they are baking. “Get it while its hot, lasting glaze filling. Hmm.”. Lunch time. "You gonna fire her?" No, but she aint gettin paid by the hour anymore.
    Last edited by lehorne; 03-06-2014 at 08:28 AM.
    The pilgrimage is not perfected save by copulation with the camel.

  19. #14209

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by lehorne View Post
    caught the maid using her fingernails to scrape a mound of dried up cum off the hardwood floor under my computer desk, picked up a piece and licked it with eyes closed. "What you do?". I said I'd be callin the police, just to her all riled and anxious scurrying around the room mentally without exit, then pulled down her lycra pants which smelled of that cheap mexican laundry detergent and had given her the appearance of a stuffed sausage. “I worked at Marshall’s and know that smell”. Opened with doggie before cumming in her mouth so she could try the freshness of a trip to Krispy Kreme when they are baking. “Get it while its hot, lasting glaze filling. Hmm.”. Lunch time. "You gonna fire her?" No, but she aint gettin paid by the hour anymore.
    Wut?
    Certain songs they get so scratched into our souls

  20. #14210

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    your wut hurts?

    She complained of pain in her vagina thinking a paper piece broke off from her previously used tampon lodging somewhere inside, so I offered to be a Gynecologist and probe around. “Pull the lips back, the Doctor is here”. Big mistake as it was comparable to dissecting an octopus with seemingly moving pink tentacles. “Ten seconds of inspection and no signs of foreign objects unless you count that overall alien looking hole. Drink lots of fluids. No follow-up appointment necessary.”. Got it out herself a couple days later and it was what she initially suspected it to be.
    The pilgrimage is not perfected save by copulation with the camel.

  21. #14211
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    It's worked in my life before. "Putting it out into the universe" or "letting the universe deliver" both sound pretty corny but I'm totally baffled by how many times this has worked in my life. I've never taken to craigslist but I've done it in other ways. Here it goes...
    Los Angeles has been wonderful to me since moving here from Chicago over a year ago. I just want to share the adventures, the excitement and fun with someone. I'm in good shape, non-smoker, love music, laughing, cooking, making things (in general), good coffee, good bourbon, etc. I can't help but be a goddamn helpless romantic. It's a hell of a combo being a virgo and a helpless romantic. It's not my favorite that I can't help but be a "serious person," so I try to laugh at myself whenever possible without it turning it into an annoying self-deprecating type of situation.
    I know this is long- bear with me. There is no order of importance so let's just chill before slinging mud
    Let's just state it plainly; I want a girlfriend. I want to fall in love. I've been in love before but this time I'm ready (cheesy line but it's truuuuueeee, I'm not even sorry for typing it). I'm not a man-child anymore. I'm not ready to get married and start popping out kiddies but I am, finally, ready to be serious after all of this hemming and hawing and self-conflicted confusion about who I am or who I'm suppose to be. That was my 20s. I have my "shit together." I'm not a millionaire by any means but I don't live paycheck to paycheck.
    What I want.
    - age 26-30
    -She's slim, long dark brown hair, deep naturally longing, engaging eyes, has imperfections in her natural beauty but they only make her uniquely gorgeous
    -Loves to stay in shape but doesn't obsess over it or talk about it all the time.
    -Challenges me in my ways but doesn't overly judge me for my faults
    - communicates in our relationship even when it's tough to articulate what it is she's feeling. Even when over-communicating is actually an issue we talk abt it and laugh at ourselves
    -Is her own woman- doesn't need fixing or help figuring out what she wants to do with her life, confident in her abilities and realizes the potential in her gifts and accepts her faults but doesn't dwell on them
    -Loves to be sexual and is curious abt ways to keep things fresh. Doesn't have to be kinky or freakish, just into accepting pleasure and pleasing me
    - Accepts help and love. I won't even elaborate here. Everyone is different, just be open to possibilities and not an emotionally triple locked door
    - Wants attention but doesn't obsess or feel like they need it to validate their existence. She sends me pictures of things that she's into bc she's genuinely excited abt them and wants me to know bc we're best friends and bc it's fun to share. It's not bc she needs me to validate her taste or bc she constantly in need of my attention. She sends me hot pictures from time to time bc she feels good abt herself and knows that it turns me on and it's fun. She doesn't do it bc she needs an ego boost or bc she's feeling insecure and needs me to tell her that she's beautiful.
    -she likes American sports more than I do. Not by much, but enough to kind of make fun of me about it from time to time.
    -she thinks craft cocktails are cool but she doesn't care enough to feel the need to know much abt them other than the fact that she likes to drink them. She actually has a very developed palate and can tell when the drinks are well made but gets kind of annoyed or disinterested in the rest of the details. This also applies to food. Obviously it's wonderful to want to know and learn about these things and I would love it, but I'm just trying to say that it's not like there are "points to be won" by knowing the intricacies of the hospitality trade. I value her opinion greatly, end of story.
    -Loves good tacos. It's hard to say no when she gets really excited abt eating tacos for the 3rd night in a row. Simple things done well are just a thing with her. Charming and refreshing.
    - Loves my company but isn't afraid to tell me when she needs to chill by herself. Maybe she needs to contemplate a career choice, maybe a family member needs help, or maybe she just wants to sit at home and watch True Detectives by herself, or maybe masturbate or listen to AlunaGeorge while painting her nails and FaceTimeing w a friend from home
    - she gives me tough love when needed and isn't afraid to tell me what she thinks abt my ideas or my preconceived notions. She's constructive in her criticisms and handles it w care and she doesn't play devils advocate all the time if she's bored with what we're talking abt. I do the same for her. Another way in which we develop trust.
    - she's not afraid of commitment but does take each step in the relationship seriously and considerately.
    - she's self deprecating but not in a debilitating way. She's not so insecure abt her faults that she can't laugh at them
    -she finds ways to surprise me. Sometimes it's in her imperfections and sometimes they stem from her best traits
    - she ambitious and driven but it doesn't consume her life. She understands that happiness is derived from many aspects of life and not just a career path of climbing a ladder. We feed off of each other in this way- sometimes we get too focused or we lose focus and the other is there to help draw us back into ourselves
    - she has this a*s that drives me nuts. We lay in bed and some nights, when she's lying on her side trying to fall asleep, she has to literally say "time out! I love you and I love the way you touch my a*s and how your hands feel on me but I HAVE TO SLEEP. So either you go sleep on the couch or have a glass of wine in the other room until you feel more sleepy or just chill out...but either way, I can't sleep w you caressing my a*s. It just makes me wanna f*ck or masturbate...which is not what I need right now...I need sleep."
    - she loves music but we don't necessarily have the same taste. It's weird sometimes and we have discussions that get a little personal but we respect each other enough to not make a fight out of it. She thinks I'm a little corny actually with my taste and my record collection and overall nerdiness about "needing to get this on vinyl." Maybe dance music is kind of "silly" to her but it's fun? Or maybe she loves hip hop but is careful to give it too much weight because of the way a lot of it depicts women? Either way, she's thoughtful about how she consumes art
    - she's wants to be, and for the most part is, a girly girl but she can't help but let the tomboy out from time to time. It's endearing most of the time and when I recognize this she at first gets a little defensive but then admits that it's a funny thing abt her that she just can't help. It's times like these where we remind ourselves to not take ourselves too seriously.
    - she loves nature but prefers "moderate nature." Hikes, beaches, boats, "cabin camping," waterfalls, fishing, canoeing, are all fair game but gets kind of weirded out by the idea of camping in the middle of a forest in damn tent or middle of the desert for 5 days. General attitude goes something like "bears and large snakes and mountain lions get into trouble when they go camping in the city."
    - she's probably smarter than me. I try to be cool and "know stuff" but in terms of talent and intellect she edges me out.
    -she's an intuitively caring person. She feels genuine compassion for those in need of emotional and/or physical care. You can just tell, from her body language to the tone in her voice. She doesn't make it a big deal or dwell on it. It's just a part of her
    I could probably go on but I digress.
    Intention set.
    Are you out there in Los Angeles? Hello??
    For all the single ladies.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  22. #14212
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Put your hands up?
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
    Fans of TheLastGreatMan Accessory Shop

  23. #14213

    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Wow.
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  24. #14214
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    The most offensive part of that is "I could go on but I digress."

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  25. #14215
    old school unit300021's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    No that person isn't in LA because that person doesn't exist.
    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    Why aren't there more good role models for fat people who fall down a lot?

  26. #14216
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    he comments like he's not in his twenties, but then asks for a girl in her twenties
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  27. #14217
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    "she hates when people spell out the word 'about'"
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  28. #14218
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Okay. My best friend joined OKCupid a few months ago. Disclaimer: she has always been in relationships with terrible, awful guys. Also, men have been falling for her and writing her terrible, awful poetry and prose since highschool. It's the weirdest thing. Also, she's totally gay and shouldn't be going out with dudes anyway but whatever. Anyway, her first date was with a guy about 12 years older than her, who took her to a scotch bar, as they both like scotch. She found him interesting enough/she wanted to trudge through this new dating experience to see him a few more times, but immediately picked up on his PUA tendencies -- kino, slight negging, etc. I don't know WHY she ever went on date #2 with him because after date #1 he wrote her a piece of prose about the date that was just....embarrassing. She should have ended it then, but saw him a few more times. On date #3, he came over to her place once and purposely told her he was leaving an article of clothing. By this time she was trying to actively avoid going on another date with him because she wasn't interested but couldn't muster up the energy to make a clean break, and she'd do so by saying she didn't have enough money to go out (she is insistent about always going dutch). Bad move on her part, but apparently this guy badgered her on the phone to the point where she agreed that she'd go on another date with him. She finally told him that she did NOT want to be his girlfriend and wanted to continue to date and sleep with other people and enjoy her life and he through a hissy fit and sent her more weird passive aggressive prose pieces about the journey of their relationship, agreed that this wasn't what he wanted so decided he was ending it, came to her place to pick up his article of clothing/attempt to mark his territory, lingered around hoping for break-up sex, and then finally left.

    Today she received a letter in the mail from him, titled, "Chapter 4: A Happy Birthday and Saying Goodbye." Sprayed with his cologne. Included in the letter, a $20 bill.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  29. #14219
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    holy shit what a weirdo
    Quote Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome View Post
    It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

  30. #14220
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I would go on a few terrible dates for $20, plus meals and drinks.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

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