It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

[marooko]

Apparently I failed at having office sex. I never turned the copier on.

[buddy]

I've done the work relationship thing twice. It didn't end well once, and was talked into the second time by friends because I didn't want to try that again. The second time ended up in a five year relationship, and for the most part was pretty good. Saying all that, I still wouldn't recommend work relationships.

[BROKENDOLL]

I'd really like to have a panel created of Kat's peers from this board to get together, evaluate, and offer suggestions.

Some things off the top of my head.

Height-does her height effect her chances with a certain percentage of guys?
Attire-I dig the vampira thing, but again, does that effect her changes with a certain percentage of guys?

Scent-Kat always looks clean, but is she using baby talcum powder, or patchouli , that are throwing guys off the scent (pun intended)?

Approach-4 boardies standing at the end of a bar. Kat's job is to come up to one of them and give it her best short at picking them up. Other boardies take notes and offer feedback.

Shyness-Is her shyness reducing her opportunities or is it just nervousness?

Weirdness-Does she oink every time she laughs, talks about Lou Reed like he's her uncle, or scratch her ass while in midconversation or some type of thing that she does not realize?
I really want her to start closing deals with potential drama free boyfriends.

Before I offer to commit to anything, can I ask if the bar you have in mind is like a local neighborhood hang out, like Cheers? Or, will it be the type of bar that's filled with pretentiously HOT GUYS and Hipster Chicks named Mimi or Solange?

Anyway... Height shouldn't matter as long as it's not because of of some pedestal she's put herself on. And, it's not my style, but I think hers is cute and shouldn't make a difference, so it can't be that... Does she ever take those large framed glasses off though? That could be a deal breaker if she's out at 3:30 am trying to get some ill-na-na. As for her scent...I think she's too wishy-washy to have a smell.

Now, the approach part... Hmm, I remember the first board meet-up we went to at Coachella a few years ago, and I didn't know whether to feel like a bumbling fucking idiot or a target for a backhand. I doubt Kat is actually shy... I just think her asshole-ex has just convinced her that she's a bumbling idiot. And as far as weirdness goes... Maybe she does "oink" everytime she laughs...that may explain the pigs she keeps ending up with... I don't know.

Not opposed to this if things don't work out with the older guy.


My wardrobe will be sacrificed for no man.


Oh man, I hope I don't smell weird.



It's a mutual using. On again off again since November.

Wait. Hold it. Obviously, we're talking issues with getting naked, as well as worrying about how it smells when she does... No wonder she can't get them eating out of the palm of her hand!

[Gundam]

I have an unusual attraction to a coworker. This concerns me. Anyone want to remind me why dating coworkers is a bad idea?

It's too late, and anything we say wont sway your mind.

Don't do it.

[lehorne]

don't date em, just take them to the bathroom three floors down for a screw. And afterward act like it never happened. "Good afternoon, Doris. How are you?".

[algunz]

A fuck buddy at work can be the best and the worst. A work relationship can be great and terrible. You'll never know if you don't try.

[RotationSlimWang]

Stupid hot dude will not stop texting me. Saying he's gonna give me tickets to this show for my birthday, blah blah blah. It's a shame because he is an attractive dude, but such a douchebag. He can hang out and flirt with me all he wants, but I pretty much decided he's not dating/boyfriend/regular hookup material. His personality is just so vile. Just a very, very handsome man with a nice LP collection.

In other news, I've actually been hanging out with that guy the last guy I was seeing basically passed off to me. He's really nice, we like all the same stuff — but can't tell if he's playing it slow because he's being respectful or if he's not into me. We went out on Saturday, went back to his place and watched MST3K and made out on his couch, but he didn't ask for me to stay over and I left on my own accord around 3:30am. Hmph.

Maybe he thinks it's weird I hooked up with his friend/that he and I were set up by said friend? Or maybe that I'm younger than he is? I dunno.

Katt, what's "vile" about his personality? I'm just asking because, well, yours is pretty bad.

[Robin]

Gunz - you're right. You won't know if it'll be great or terrible. You just have to realize what risks are being taken.
I dated a former coworker once. We were in completely different departments on different shifts, so it wasn't bad. We also kept it a secret from the rest of the company.

I've gotten a lot of reports on my desk from coworkers who dated, but broke up saying that they can no longer work with each other. It was creating a hostile work environment, not just for them, but also their peers. Some turned into a "he said/she said" sexual harassment investigation.

If you do go for it, and date this coworker, make sure you both know your boundaries between professional and personal. One of the top things I hate doing in my profession is talking to employees about their love relationship. Another is if the employee smells.

[locachica73]

My fear of dating people I work with is that it will either go horribly and cause work tension, or go well and then I will be seeing that person all day at work, then all night at home, eventually getting so sick of their face that I just can't take it anymore.

My sister married a coworker, they worked together, lived together, carpoooled together and had lunch together. There is not one person I can think of that I like enough to want to see that often.

[RotationSlimWang]

I love trying to get chicks I work with--especially if they're in a relationship--to fuck around at work.

[greghead]

Maybe he thinks it's weird I hooked up with his friend/that he and I were set up by said friend? Or maybe that I'm younger than he is? I dunno.

No. He's just going slow and respectful because he actually likes you. I can't speak for anyone, but I won't make-out with girls I wouldn't put my penis in. Try jerking him off to get him up to speed.

[M Sparks]

No. He's just going slow and respectful because he actually likes you. I can't speak for anyone, but I won't make-out with girls I wouldn't put my penis in.

No, you can pretty much speak for everyone. If a guy makes out with a woman, he wants to at least sleep with her. If he watches MST3K with a woman until 3:30am, he likes being with her. If he does both, he's "into her".

Speaking for myself (but it's probably fairly universal), when I was young, I had a quite a few experiences where the woman was a virgin, or she "didn't want a bad reputation" or, in one case, wasn't really sure if she was bi-sexual or just a curious lesbian...anyway, I got shut down a lot for whatever reason. So that trained me that just because a woman wanted to make out, or strip down to panties and dry hump, or let me go down on her without returning the favor, it didn't mean they wanted to have sex.

So anyway, that sort of female behavior messed me up for about 15 years until I figured out that it was all part of some weird "I need to feel like the man is dominant and in control, even though 'No Means No' and all that but I need him to read some secret pheromone/ultrasonic wave I am sending out and figure out when no means yes, which honestly is 94% of the time."

My advice would be to get him over to your place. Every time I have sex for the first time with someone, it's at her place. You can say "Let's move into the bedroom" and then he knows it's OK to take it further. The poor guy is a gentleman, and he hasn't figured out your crazy secret lady code yet.

[CJC626]

Have any of you checked out this singles map? Perhaps the deep south is not so bad for men after all.
SMap.jpg

[Pixiessp]

Um... it works on chicks. I've been part of our own controlled studies in which coke whores who had no idea that there was crushed up viagra in the lines towards the end of the night ended up holding their clits like little kids that had to pee.

We have a lot of these pee pee holders as customers in my store.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Have any of you checked out this singles map? Perhaps the deep south is not so bad after all.
Attachment 7299

If you're a male, sure. I have a female friend who moved to Alabama like 2 years ago and the lack of single men is driving her fucking crazy.

[Robin]

Have any of you checked out this singles map? Perhaps the deep south is not so bad for men after all.
Attachment 7299

A lot of single men in the bay area.
Maybe I need to stop being a hermit and start dolling myself up.

[CJC626]

If you're a male, sure. I have a female friend who moved to Alabama like 2 years ago and the lack of single men is driving her fucking crazy.

Is your friend into football (college football preferred) at all? Or at least willing to feign some kind of interest in it?

Me personally, I don't think the favorable singles ratio would be enough incentive to move to Alabama. I have this ignorant hunch that I would not fit in very well there.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Not sure if she is around a school. She says that most people there get married right out of high school, so pretty much everyone is married and having kids already. She works for a technology company, some kind of programmer I think, she moved there because she was having a hard time with the job market in Los Angeles and the cost of living is so much cheaper in Alabama. She hates it there, but she's willing to make a sacrifice to move forward in her career until she can start going to high paying positions in more expensive markets. She is also half middle eastern and half El Salvadorean and a practicing Muslim, so I'm sure that has a gigantic effect on her dating prospects too.

[CJC626]

A lot of single men in the bay area.
Maybe I need to stop being a hermit and start dolling myself up.

My company's HQ is in south bay, and I get to go out there a few times a year. Based on my anecdotal observation, there seems to be a lot more guys around the bar/club scene than girls, and a lot of them appear to be the 'valley' tech geek type who make lots of money now, but blossomed late, so there's still some social awkardness in them (which isn't bad - I am super socially awkward). Blazer and jeans seems to be the common look there, so if you're into that look on guys at all...

[Robin]

My company's HQ is in south bay, and I get to go out there a few times a year. Based on my anecdotal observation, there seems to be a lot more guys around the bar/club scene than girls, and a lot of them appear to be the 'valley' tech geek type who make lots of money now, but blossomed late, so there's still some social awkardness in them (which isn't bad - I am super socially awkward). Blazer and jeans seems to be the common look there, so if you're into that look on guys at all...

Note to self: Start hitting up spots in South Bay. Find sugar daddy.

[kitt kat]

If a guy makes out with a woman, he wants to at least sleep with her. If he watches MST3K with a woman until 3:30am, he likes being with her. If he does both, he's "into her".

I hope you're right...I invited him out last night, but he was recording. He then asked if I was free Thursday, but hasn't responded back to me.

[Mugwog]

He's doing stuff, that's a good sign

[My epic username]

Note to self: Start hitting up spots in South Bay. Find sugar daddy.

Agreed. Can you grab a spare for me too please?

[BROKENDOLL]

I hope you're right...I invited him out last night, but he was recording. He then asked if I was free Thursday, but hasn't responded back to me.

I hope you remembered you had to respond back to his invitation for Thursday first... *rolls eyes*

[Robin]

Agreed. Can you grab a spare for me too please?

I have enough trouble getting one guy. Getting two may be quite difficult, but I'll try.


On an unrelated note, a guy I hooked up with this past December (the "friend zone" guy that wouldn't date me because I smoke) is becoming friends with the brother that I live with. It's a bit awkward. I guess this makes up for the time I dated one of my bro's friends.

[Mugwog]

Sounds like he's stalking you

[Goatchella]

No. He's just going slow and respectful because he actually likes you. I can't speak for anyone, but I won't make-out with girls I wouldn't put my penis in. Try jerking him off to get him up to speed.

you speak for me when you say this...I won't fuck a girl i wouldn't kiss and i won't kiss a girl I wouldn't date and vice versa

[SlowMotionApocalypse]

My cousin who I haven't seen in years is in town and staying with the folks. She is 24 and kinda hot. Anyway we went out last night, had a few beers and played pool. First off she was totally cock blocking which was odd. Then when I drove her back to my parent's, she told me she was always thinking about me back home, how good I still look now and that she even had a little crush on me when we younger. Then she leaned over and kissed me on the lips, then asked if we could go back to my place instead. I was shocked and mumbled something about having to get up early. I almost crashed on the way home.

Now I am totally awash with conflicting emotions. It feels wrong but also feels so right. I kinda want to do it but I am afraid of the consequences if any of my family finds out. She is instant messaging me asking if we can get together again today but I am not sure what to say. Has anyone here ever been in a situation like this? How did it work out? How do you think I should proceed?

[TomAz]

If someone only gives lip service to Christianity (drinks, smokes..)

Your view of christianity is quite different from mine. Must be the utah thing.

[amyzzz]

SMA, first cousin?