It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

[Alchemy]

The first girl who gave me this service was BAD. I remember talking to a buddy of mine and saying something like, "It's really not as great as it's made out to be." And he agreed. I'm not sure if he was just pretending, and that he actually didn't know, or if we just both had a bad introduction. Luckily, it was just that... a bad introduction.

[Ride a Tire!]

Has anyone done speed dating before? I signed up for a thing in a few weeks and just wondered if anyone else had experience with such a thing?

[Originalbob]

congrats Barb on your progression (few pages late, sorry)

Miroir, sometimes I wonder about you...

No speed dating experience here; would've been fun back in the days. I guess don't try to over-impress

[HotHamWater]

Has anyone done speed dating before? I signed up for a thing in a few weeks and just wondered if anyone else had experience with such a thing?

Yup.

It was a pretty surreal night. Talked to one of them about Jesus. Told another I had a girlfriend and that was awkward. One of the dates was with my college Spanish teacher. One of the women works with my mom. Pics:

The event was held at a winery/restaurant here in Burque. When we got there we needed drinks because we already knew it was gonna be awkward and there might be a few women I could stand with a slight buzz. After that we walked to the back room and checked in. All of the women were assigned tables and all the men moved around. Each date was 6 minutes and there were 11 men and 11 women.

Before the festivities got under way, the blind guy (yes the blind guy) felt the need to have the floor and make an announcement. I thought it was going to be something about "respect my disability" or "I trust that I'm really talking to a woman" but it had nothing to do with his unfortunate place in the world. He felt the need to tell all the ladies that he is a forthright individual and that he expects the same. Did we REALLY need an announcement like that? The answer is yes. It was entertaining and helped me prove I could keep a straight face.

My first date was with Tammy. Born in Michigan. I think she was a nurse. Blah blah blah. But all I could focus on was the lack of symmetry in her face and her eyes seemed to be independent of the rest of her body. I didn't feel like they were part of the conversation. I don't remember much of the conversation other than me calling her a stalker for some reason then telling her that the Lions suck.

Next there was Becky. I've been really into women with glasses lately, but not her. Neither Sarah Palin nor Tina Fey has a 3/1 gums to teeth ratio. I guess she was normal as far as personality goes. I did tell her that I hate OU and that they would get stomped by Florida. She was too nice to really fuck with, though. So I just let it be.

Not much interesting with the next woman, Valerie. I was gonna get into a dark/death talk with her, but she cut me off at the pass. She asked what I did before my current career and I told her radio (the truth, WTF?). She asked what station and I told her and she totally recognized me. So she asked hundreds of questions about radio that I've been fielding for 9 years. Moving on.

Veronica. Not much interesting except she was my FUCKING SPANISH TEACHER IN COLLEGE. I always thought she had a cute face and she did lose a little weight. So I started flirting with her kinda for shits and giggles. She wasn't havin any of it and I think she felt creeped out. After a minute, I did too.

Audrey from Santa Fe was probably the hottest chick that I talked to. And she was a Treky. She's been to Star Trek conventions and everything. I couldn't reconcile the two, so I just had visions of her making me wear Spock ears while she fucked me. I guess sometimes you gotta dress up as Spock while you bang? If I was looking for anything, she would've been the one I followed up with.

The only thing interesting about the Normanda (Norm) is she works with my mom. And she is friends with my old Spanish teacher. So I just had to have regular old small talk.

Una looked like something out of Charlie's Angels. If one of the angels went on a coke binge and accidently snorted part of her tooth. And she was 40 and wouldn't shut the fuck up about how much older she is than everyone else. I thought that was a good time for me to ask her about the Lord. She said she's "spiritual, but not religious." And I told her that I used to say that before I got saved. The timer went off and I told her she seemed really nice and I'd pray for her.

The next girl, Kamalia, was painfully awkward. So I thought I'd make it more awkward. She asked me how old I was and I said 27. She said "I'm 30, that's not too bad." Then I said "That's true. My girlfriend is 30 and that doesn't seem to be an issue." She kinda stuttered and said "Oh" and I said "So anyway, where in Illinois are you from?"

"Serious titties" and "Lesbian" were actually nice girls. And I was losing steam at that point. I forgot exactly why I called her "Lesbian", but something about the way she carried herself reminded me of Gina from 40-Year Old Virgin.

All in all it was a big psychout fest and ridiculously awkward at moments. I did feel a little bad because as I was talking to one of the women, I got a text from the woman who I'm really involved with saying "Just thinking about you and wanted to say I hope you have a wonderful night." If you like random side show events, I think speed dating might be a worthwhile thing.

[Miroir Noir]

"Serious titties" sounded so very promising.

[Mona_Corona]

Hi. I'm not sure if I'm jumping in on this conversation way late but I read the first few pages and noticed people were talking about their experiences with OkCupid. I made an account a few months ago and within a matter of days my inbox had reached capacity...Not sure if that's normal for most girls on there or not. (Especially because I come off as extremely bitchy and high maintenance on my profile.) While there was probably only 1 decent guy per every 10 messages, I have yet to find the courage to actually meet anyone off the site. I do however have the OkCupid iphone app and it has a feature where you can see who is near by and meet up. I think this will be a cool thing to use to meet up with people at Coachella, so for all you okc out there I highly suggest you download the app!

[fatbastard]

That's weird, you come off as extremely bitchy and high maintenance in that post.

[Robin]

OKC was so 2 months ago.

[suprefan]

You're all so hipster when it comes to dating sites. Just create your own!

[Ride a Tire!]

Yup.

Cool thanks!

[kitt kat]

Meh.

I met someone that I really liked. We hung out for a month or so, but he called it all off on Saturday.

So yeah. Meh.

[Cameron Frye]

i haven't really clicked with anyone in like a year

hopefully will meet someone once i move west

[Alchemy]

Maybe you'll meet Kat.

[suprefan]

I got it! Just use this app to find all the hot bitches!

http://www.theatlantic.com/technolog...tp2-68.twitter

[Mugwog]

Forever Alone club.

[getbetter]

You could always do one of those go with me to see micheal bolton threads again. I'm actually pretty happy being single.

[bluemamba]

I've been single for 8 months after going from relationship to relationship for 3 years. It's been good so far.

[Originalbob]

"Serious titties" sounded so very promising.

Oh, i didn't think Tommy would've said something about meeting me... Looks like the cats out of the bag

[hippiephonics]

dour titties

[kitt kat]

The guy that dumped me blocked me on Facebook and our mutual friends are coming to me saying he's whining about the breakup.

Um, excuse me?

[JustSteve]

speaking words of wisdom, let it be...

let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be...

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

This thread is supposed to be about dating, not complaining about people we don't date anymore.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

also kat, every time you talk about your ex, he seems more and more like a giant fucking crazy pansy. You dated that pussy for YEARS?!?

[algunz]

I think it's a different guy? I hope.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

if she's talking about the guy she was just dating for 1 month then he's even worse

[kitt kat]

It's the guy I was dating who dumped me on Saturday. I could give two shits about my ex. I haven't seen him in months.

And I dunno, I thought this thread was about the ups and downs of dating? I mean, I got dumped by someone I was starting to like and feel comfortable/confident around. I would think that would warrant me just being able to be a little disappointed (and now, bewildered).

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

I thought you were talking about your ex. This is especially strange behavior for someone you were dating a month.

[Alchemy]

The guy that dumped me blocked me on Facebook and our mutual friends are coming to me saying he's whining about the breakup.

Um, excuse me?

It must be really awkward when you run into him in the hallway. Ask his best friend to the prom. That will really up the controversy on his Facebook wall.

[fatbastard]

It's the guy I was dating who dumped me on Saturday. I could give two shits about my ex. I haven't seen him in months.

And I dunno, I thought this thread was about the ups and downs of dating? I mean, I got dumped by someone I was starting to like and feel comfortable/confident around. I would think that would warrant me just being able to be a little disappointed (and now, bewildered).

Sorry to hear about this.

[kitt kat]

ask his best friend to the prom. That will really up the controversy on his Facebook wall.

Right before he dumped me, he was all, "Hey, do you remember my friend so-and-so from the party? You two should really hang out. You like all the same stuff, you hate on ravers and he likes Kraftwerk too."

To which I replied, "Oh, haha. Yeah."

And then he keeps going on and on about it: "Yeah you two should hang out, I think you'd get along. I was telling him you two should hang out and even he said, 'Well I hate ravers, but I love Kraftwerk' and I said, 'Well so does she."

And then he dumped me...so it was immediately afterwards I realized that I was being SET UP and DUMPED simultaneously and I was like WTF.

Sorry to hear about this.

Thanks, I appreciate it. I guess that's "dating"! Ugh.