It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

[guedita]

Perhaps I'll just "sneeze" a lot in a way that sounds an awfully lot like I'm saying "I'll sleep witttchhhhhhYOU!"

[Mugwog]

Drop some pubes on their shoulders and whisper in their ears, "I've chosen you for the ritual."

[Alchemy]

Just insert some subliminal moans into the conversation.

[fatbastard]

Fluorescent arrow pointing to crotch area.

[HandBanana]

I'll never forget that fishstick throw last year.

Felt so alive.

[SoulDischarge]

Wear t-shirts with Georgia O'Keeffe designs on them.

[algunz]

Or one that reads I wanna get fucked!

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

just press your foot into his dick under the table and let him run with it

[Gribbz]

just press your foot into his dick under the table and let him run with it

I also recommend this.

[M Sparks]

I suppose I don't want it to happen at my apartment, though. Because then he'll know where I live. Theoretically, we break into a mattress store and do it there.

You should hit on a mattress salesman.

http://www.bestfilmoncampus.com/film...27&filmID=1165

[TomAz]

Perhaps I'll just "sneeze" a lot in a way that sounds an awfully lot like I'm saying "I'll sleep witttchhhhhhYOU!"

sigworthy.

[Cookieman908]

I'm now a man on a mission to date more and stop being single after watching the movie "Young Adult" for the first time last night.

Some of it hit home and cut deep. I don't wanna end up like that!

[Miroir Noir]

That's really what you got out of that movie?

[Courtney]

I'm sitting at a coffee place waiting for my car to get inspected, and one of the two barista guys just came and sat down at the table next to me with his girlfriend and the quantity of pda is unusually obnoxious.

"What time did you leave this morning?'

"9am"

<<kiss>>

"Did you finish that bio assignment?"

"No I hate it."

<<kiss>>

"I can help you with it if you don't mind it being a little silly."

<<kiss>>


PUKE.

[Robin]

Don't be jelly.

[Mugwog]

Specifically

[Courtney]

I know logically that I have been like that before in the initial phases of a relationship when if you're in proximity you physically cannot resist making contact. I know it's not that bad. I mean, they aren't shoving tongues down each other's throats. But it's just so disgustingly happy.

I regret giving him a dollar tip.

[blakely]

Was there baby talk? That shit makes my skin crawl.

[Courtney]

Ha, no baby talk, thank goodness. That would have made me want to punch somebody.

[Courtney]

Specifically

Also, this stuff is disgusting. Do not buy it.

[blakely]

I wont eat any food product from hawaii that isnt a macadamia nut.

[Robin]

But it's just so disgustingly happy.

I regret giving him a dollar tip.

I kinda miss those disgustingly happy moments.
And you pretty much just gave him money for a show.

[Robin]

I recently hung out with this guy. I thought it went swell. This afternoon, I asked him if he wanted to hang out tonight, but he declined saying he had to give his cat a bath. seriously?

[lehorne]

maybe he didn't think "I'm washing my hair" sounded masculine enough

[Sleepingrock]

Maybe he should get into contact with Guedita.

[rjadams90]

I forgot how much fun falling in love with somebody is.

[guedita]

So I went on another first date last night. Here's a tip, gentlemen, don't preface a story by saying "Oh, so this is really funny," unless your story is actually really funny. In any case, I did decide that I wasn't completely repulsed by this guy and that I would have sex with him, but I still don't have the confidence to make that sort of move, so I ended up having three drinks with the bloke and listening to so many funny stories. He told me about this one friend he had who wore argyle shorts and he and his other friends made fun of the guy for wearing argyle shorts. Hilarious.

I stopped by my local dive bar on my way home from the date and ended up smoking pot with one of the bartenders in the bathroom and trying to convince the owner to pull up the carpet of the bar and let me host a roller-skating night there. Then a Scottish guy invited me home (across the street) with him, but he phrased it, "You're welcome for a drink?" as we were walking out, and I thought he was telling me that I had rudely not thanked him for having already bought me a drink at the bar, so I got flustered and then declined the offer. He sort of looked like a hobbit, but a Scottish hobbit.

The end.

[GuyInTucson]

I just did a google image search on "Scottish Hobbit" and this was the first image that populated -

[yardbird]

I recently hung out with this guy. I thought it went swell. This afternoon, I asked him if he wanted to hang out tonight, but he declined saying he had to give his cat a bath. seriously?

Robin, clearly this man does not a dirty pussy.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

"You're welcome for a drink?" is cracking me the fuck up bahahaha