It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

[flea73]

How do the childless people in this thread feel about dating people that has a kid or multiple kids? I ask this because my friend keeps insisting she can't find a stable guy because she's a single mother and no stable guy wants to date a single mother (to which I took slight offense to because I married a woman who has a child from a previous relationship). I told her that she's full of shit and that she settles for guys who end up being crazy and that she never changes the type of guy she goes after. So, what about you folks... would you date (not just fuck, but date) someone who already has a child? Is that a deal-breaker or does it just depend on the individual and situation?

I definitely think it depends on the individual and situation. I've always known that I don't want children so I've never seen the point in dating someone who has or wants them. I've honestly been surprised by how much of an issue it's been with guys I've met.

[GuyInTucson]

I'm not interested in dating someone who has any kids that live with him, but that's more because I'm not interested in having kids in my life, period. Perhaps if I wanted my own kids someday, I'd be more open to it.

Makes sense and that's a fair reason.

[GuyInTucson]

I definitely think it depends on the individual and situation. I've always known that I don't want children so I've never seen the point in dating someone who has or wants them. I've honestly been surprised by how much of an issue it's been with guys I've met.

When I was in my early 20's I was hesitant about dating a girl with children but as I got older it became less of an issue. As long as the woman didn't want me to assume the daddy role, I was ok and luckily I never had one who expected that of me. Obviously if you want to get serious with that person, it is a role you may eventually have to assume. So your point of view makes sense. No reason to get involved with a single parent if you have no desire to become a parent of your own at any point in your life.

[JustSteve]

Life is too short to think about anyone but yourself.

quite an outlook there.

[ThatGirl]

How do the childless people in this thread feel about dating people that has a kid or multiple kids? I ask this because my friend keeps insisting she can't find a stable guy because she's a single mother and no stable guy wants to date a single mother (to which I took slight offense to because I married a woman who has a child from a previous relationship). I told her that she's full of shit and that she settles for guys who end up being crazy and that she never changes the type of guy she goes after. So, what about you folks... would you date (not just fuck, but date) someone who already has a child? Is that a deal-breaker or does it just depend on the individual and situation?

When I met my hubby and we both learned neither of us wanted kids it was quite a happy revelation. His first marriage pretty much ended over the subject. I dated men with kids before but much preferred without.

[chiapet]

I'm also surprised how much of a deal breaker my "not wanting kids" has been for guys, when we were not yet in a serious relationship and had both said we were not currently looking for a serious relationship. It kind of blew my mind that guys who claimed they didn't want to get married or have kids for a very long time were not willing to date someone *now* over that issue.

Sometimes I feel like a jerk that I'd be wiling to consider dating guys who have kids that are not really in their lives (that they don't have custody of, that they either only see on a limited basis or don't see at all). I'm penalizing guys who do the right thing by their offspring and am okay with crappy fathers... when it comes down to it, I don't want to be in the kid's life, though.

[Goatchella]

I love banging single moms!

[Neighborhood Creep]

[sonnyboy11]

hahahahaha..

on a side note.. i never date guys older than me. I can barely find any my own age..... er.. so far anyways. U ALL SO YOUNG?

What? Why not? I'm probably older than you... great, now I'm sad.

[Cookieman908]

I can only imagine how brutal it must be out there on the dating scene for singles who have a kid. But surely, there must be some niche dating sites devoted to single parents? That's where I'd look.

[venturas90sgirl]

LOL! Neighborhood Creep

One of my best friends has a 6 yr old and she's been with a guy who was dead set against having kids. She has pointed out that she wants more. At first it made him very uncomfortable but they've been together for over 2 years now and for the better part of a year he has gotten more comfortable with her 6 year old around so I don't know if he's changed his mind or they've just closed the subject for now but I have a feeling that when that topic does get reopened that it will make or break they're relationship.

[SoulDischarge]

Whoa, you guys really read deep into the "What do you do for work question?" For me, it's just something to keep the conversation moving. Often I've had convos like this online:

"Hey, how's it going?"

"Alright, just got home from work."

"Oh, what do you do?"

"I work at an amusement park where we extract the DNA from fossilized amber and genetically recreate dinosaurs. How about you?"

"That sounds pretty interesting. I exploit homeless people by paying them stupid small amounts of money to viciously fight one another on film. It's not very exciting, but it pays the bills, y'know."

It's just something that comes up naturally.

[HandBanana]

Some of the sweetest girls Ive dated have been single moms.
And I am happy to report that the vagina is almost never destroyed from the babby plopping.

[lehorne]

dang, dude, you must really get down there and gaze at that thing

[HandBanana]

Well yeah

[herro kitty]

My first boyfriend had a 6 yr old daughter. She was very sweet and we all got along really well.

She said this to me before, though, "I think my dad loves you more than he loves me *truly heartbroken face*" I nipped that right in the bud and immediately replied, "NO! You are the most important girl in your dad's life! You will always be in his life. I'm only temporary." She seemed to like that answer and continued to cuddle up against me on the couch as we watched cartoons. Sweet weird kid

So my vote is: I don't mind dating single dads as long as they treat their kids well.

[Alchemy]

I mean, that's what you told the kid... but did he really love you more? Give it to us straight.

[guedita]

I would date a guy with a kid. If it was a girl child, though, I would have to verify that I was more attractive than her (through projected "what will your child look like imaging).

[herro kitty]

I mean, that's what you told the kid... but did he really love you more? Give it to us straight.

I think he may have seen her as the ultimate interruption to his youth. He was only 23 when he had her, and he wasn't ready (still isn't!) to stop partying. But he does what he can. Romantic love and familial love are in completely different leagues.

So the answer is: who knows.

I think single dads have it more easy than single moms. Who wouldn't date Louis CK?

[HandBanana]

This may just be a personal tick of mine, but I can tell you that there is nothing that turns me on in the same way as seeing that a girl is a really good mom.
And I'm not even sure that I ever want to have kids, Im just saying that of the women I have known that have been single moms, them being good and caring nurturing moms has been a huge turn on for me.

It's a very attractive characteristic.

[psychic friend]

What? Why not? I'm probably older than you... great, now I'm sad.

ya you do have me beat by a few years. dont be sad though.

[Hannahrain]

Im younger babygurl get in the van

[sonnyboy11]

ya you do have me beat by a few years. dont be sad though.

So... you're saying there's a chance?

[Alchemy]

I'm younger, Dani. Just say the word and I'll change my Facebook status to make it official.

It's not real, after all, if it isn't authenticated by Facebook.

[Courtney]

This may just be a personal tick of mine, but I can tell you that there is nothing that turns me on in the same way as seeing that a girl is a really good mom.
And I'm not even sure that I ever want to have kids, Im just saying that of the women I have known that have been single moms, them being good and caring nurturing moms has been a huge turn on for me.

It's a very attractive characteristic.

YES! HandBanana is now officially a male me.

[Robin]

Whoops... I'm kinda drunk again.

I finally had a somewhat one-on-one with friend zone guy. We definitely have an attraction towards each other, but the ONLY thing that's getting in the way is my smoking.

edit: but we did agree that we miss having our friendly hangouts.

[suprefan]

just agree that you're allowed to smoke after you guys bang. I'm sure he wouldnt care...

[Robin]

I'll make sure to bring that up the next time we hang out.

[algunz]

So... you're saying there's a chance?

One in a million.


Robin, can you stop smoking around him?

[HandBanana]

YES! HandBanana is now officially a male me.

Lol