It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

[kitt kat]

The only people who have shown any interest in me in the past month are 18 year old boys.

I hate everything.

I was at school and I was talking with a friend of an undergrad I know; we seemed to have similar interests and he was cute. He asked me if I was a sophomore like him...said I was a grad student and he immediately backed off. He said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I was going to ask you out and now that would be very inappropriate. I'm sorry."

[weeklymix]

But I'm 24.

[kitt kat]

But I'm 24.

I don't see how this is relevant because

1. I don't know you
2. I've maybe said 2 words to you
3. "Showing interest" means in person

[unit300021]

Well if you really wanted to go on a date with him you could have said something along the lines of "why is that inappropriate?" But a sophomore probably means he is under 21 which would limit the places to go with him.

You can also use the "18 year old" guys to also practice confidence building stuff with.

[romanticizer]

I don't see how this is relevant because

1. I don't know you
2. I've maybe said 2 words to you
3. "Showing interest" means in person

Maybe because you seem bitter and abrasive?

[kitt kat]

Well if you really wanted to go on a date with him you could have said something along the lines of "why is that inappropriate?" But a sophomore probably means he is under 21 which would limit the places to go with him.

You can also use the "18 year old" guys to also practice confidence building stuff with.

Yeah he was 18.

Maybe because you seem bitter and abrasive?

Irrelevant to what I was asking...?

[chiapet]

Partial nudity as in top half or bottom half?

Chicks in g-strings and pasties. Chicks who are not me, I should clarify.

[fatbastard]

The only people who have shown any interest in me in the past month are 18 year old boys.

I hate everything.

I was at school and I was talking with a friend of an undergrad I know; we seemed to have similar interests and he was cute. He asked me if I was a sophomore like him...said I was a grad student and he immediately backed off. He said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I was going to ask you out and now that would be very inappropriate. I'm sorry."

I'm gonna say it was respect.

[chiapet]

I was at school and I was talking with a friend of an undergrad I know; we seemed to have similar interests and he was cute. He asked me if I was a sophomore like him...said I was a grad student and he immediately backed off. He said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I was going to ask you out and now that would be very inappropriate. I'm sorry."

I don't think he was implying that you are too old for him, but rather that he assumed you would have no interest in someone that young. The under 21 thing is one of the few age gaps I feel is real and needs to be considered. Severely limits what you can do -- if you mostly hang out with friends at bars and shows, imagine he wouldn't get to do very much of that...

[weeklymix]

I don't see how this is relevant because

1. I don't know you
2. I've maybe said 2 words to you
3. "Showing interest" means in person

Pump your brakes, girl...

[lehorne]

reminded me of a heavy rain cloud, as did the finance thread. So dark in here.

[romanticizer]

Irrelevant to what I was asking...?

I don't see how this is relevant because

1. I don't know you
2. I've maybe said 2 words to you
3. "Showing interest" means in person

Completely relevant.

Well if you really wanted to go on a date with him you could have said something along the lines of "why is that inappropriate?"

Exactly.

[scenicworld]

Kat,

You can also use the "18 year old" guys to also practice confidence building stuff with.

This is really good advice.

[ThatGirl]

Kat,



This is really good advice.

AGREED

[Courtney]

Oh man, I am such a sucker for cute little notes. SO INFATUATED.

[unit300021]

So a few days ago I decided to be an asshole on OKCupid and messaged a girl who visited my profile and and asked her why she didn't message me. This turned into us messaging back and forth and I got a date set up with her on Saturday. Should be interesting it's going to be my first ever internet date.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Oh, you can see who looks at your profile despite them not sending messages? That's interesting.

[GuyInTucson]

I don't see how this is relevant because

1. I don't know you
2. I've maybe said 2 words to you
3. "Showing interest" means in person

You're asshole is puckered up too tight to understand he was fucking with you.

[unit300021]

Oh, you can see who looks at your profile despite them not sending messages? That's interesting.

It depends if either you or them "browse anonymously" or not. If you do they don't see you visiting there profile but then you can't see who visits yours. If you don't then yes you can see who visits your profile and they can see you visiting them. At first I had browsing anonymously on but then I realized I just didn't care if they knew I looked at their profile or not.

[suprefan]

[lt.roast.a.botch]

Katt, take it as a compliment. By the time you are in you late 20s, you will be flattered to have guys mistake you for being younger. Also, you're most likely going to have to be the agressor when hitting on younger guys. Rarely guys in college bother to date up because generally we feel women are more mature/experienced and can't keep their interest. Plus its much easier to work the underclassmen pool. That being said, you are attractive and if there is some chemistry with a younger dude you can pretty much lay out the terms of what you want and I think guys will be fine with that.

[anti-square]

Have we scrutinized our online dating lives and compared them to these facts yet on here? http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/yo...rite-you-back/

[romanticizer]

Fuck...I could sociologically analyze that data for hours.

[Robin]

I think I'm having an insecure woman moment (and yes, I've been drinking a little)

"Friend zone" guy was all about meeting up with me and my bro today after work to look at some bikes. My bro wasn't feeling up to it after work, so I texted him to tell him bike shopping was canceled, but asked him if he wanted to meet up for a drink. He told me he couldn't meet up for a drink because he had to work out, but asked about tomorrow night. We've been friends long enough for me to know that tonight is not a work out night.
Now, I've been playing poker religiously for the past couple years every other Friday, which tomorrow happens to fall on a poker night, and this guy knows it.
He's been hot and cold with me for the past couple months. I've been thinking that he asked me for drinks tomorrow knowing that I would say no. Guys, is it wrong for me to assume that?

[lt.roast.a.botch]

some observations

Girls of all races like white guys.
White guys dont respond to messages as much.
Pretty much across the board, responses are greater outside of the same race. Middle Eastern women get the most replies.
Black girls like to message, maybe too much because they have the smallest amount of replies.
White people mostly want to date white people and are more likely to think that interracial marriage is bad.

[unit300021]

Well he is a guy and we tend to not remember every single detail about females. Plus it is possible his work night have changed also. Tell him tomorrow wont work because of the poker game and ask for Saturday, or any other night really. If he gives a BS reason why he can't then he is playing games with you, which probably isn't something you want to deal with, even if you are just trying to get sex out of him. However if you do manage to sleep with him again I would probably bring your "A-Game" though.

[lt.roast.a.botch]

How do you know that he isnt working out? Maybe he missed some days going to the gym recently or just needs to blow off some steam. Are you also sure he knows that this Friday is poker day? Did you talk about it recently? Even so, if he is really busy it could have just slipped his mind. On face, without knowing any history of you two and how often you guys talk ect, I would say that he is just being a dude and asking you out on your poker night to avoid you is too well thought out. However, if your intuition is that he is actively avoiding you without trying to make some effort to make something happen, that may be the case.

[Robin]

1. He has pointed out my poker nights in the past. He's a very observant guy. I'm pretty sure he knows it's a poker night for me because a bunch of us (including him) were out last Friday for happy hour.
2. He texted me first today asking if I was at the bike shop, yet.
3. I ignored his invite and mentioned something else. He has done this to me before. Asked me to hang out, but when I would try to contact him that day, he would give me an excuse why he can't make it, such as he was fixing up his mountain bike.

Yes, I like him, but I think I miss him more as a drinking buddy/friend. We used to go out for drinks all the time before anything happened between us (and one or both of us were in relationships).

[lt.roast.a.botch]

Sounds like it is getting to the awkward stage. Anytime it starts to playing games, its all bad. Time to take a break from each other. Maybe after a month or so you can go back to being just drinking buddies. Definitely should talk it out. Overall, dont sweat it, sex does that to friendships.

[Robin]

It's definitely a little awkward. We really didn't have much communication in the past 1.5 months; pretty much only if we were both in the same e-mail chain. But he was the one that initiated one-on-one conversations with me recently.