It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

Those were simpler times. Back then, a man was a man, a woman was a woman, milk was delivered every Monday morning, and an aggressive slap in the face was a sign of fellowship with your brethren. Instead of the intrusive shriek of an alarm clock, father woke us for school every morning with an invigorating back hand, which always assured our wan faces were filled with a rosy hue as our blood vessels bloomed into a healthy gleam. Father never hugged us, he found proper circulation far too important for such stifling gestures. Instead he nourished us on a steady diet of fifty slaps a day, and we loved every moment of it. We pitied the other children who never knew the brutal affection of their parents. How lonely those lamentable saps must have been! To this day, I still get misty eyed every time a woman in a bar physically assaults an overeager suitor or the neighbors indulge in another delightful domestic dispute. I'd give anything just to feel the crisp warm spark of my dad's palm against my slap starved brow once more.

For some reason this reminds me of my favorite product review of all time.

[chairmenmeow47]

everyone has their thing I suppose. I used to smash on this girl who liked to be choked. I don't wanna sound prude, but I just never got into the whole inflicting pain during sex thing.


Also, it made me kind of paranoid to choke her. Last thing an Arab dude needs is a choked out white girl and the police asking questions.

to each their own, i know i have no desire to be choked. i do like a little pain though, toys are fun!

[bluemamba]

On OKC my initial message usually says something like "Let me holla at cha".

Is that something you ladies would respond to??

[JustSteve]

I have decided I'm going to commit to at least a year of being single. Not even weird gray area FWB stuff. I make myself way happier than almost any man has anyway.

i never understood arbitrary timelines like that. what if the perfect match comes along, but you are only 8 months into that year and you blow it off because of that. seems dumb.

[locachica73]

to each their own, i know i have no desire to be choked. i do like a little pain though, toys are fun!

I am all for a little pain as well, but if a guy slaps me in the face he better not fall asleep. No marks shall be left where others can see. That is the rule.

[JustSteve]

everyone has their thing I suppose. I used to smash on this girl

am i getting old? is the term "smash" as dumb as i think it is?

[bluemamba]

i never understood arbitrary timelines like that. what if the perfect match comes along, but you are only 8 months into that year and you blow it off because of that. seems dumb.

So true. I committed to something like that once and 4 months in I met someone special so i was like "fuck it" and took her out and we dated for a good while.

[faxman75]

everyone has their thing I suppose. I used to smash on this girl

Is smashing on a girl akin to "beasting it"?

Such a violent term for someone who doesn't like to inflict pain ha ha. People come up with some interesting verbs to use in place of fucking.

[bluemamba]

I wouldnt take it that serious.

[MoSetsfire]

Is smashing on a girl akin to "beasting it"?

Such a violent term for someone who doesn't like to inflict pain ha ha. People come up with some interesting verbs to use in place of fucking.

I don't even know when I started using it. A lot of people I know say it, maybe its a regional thing.

am i getting old? is the term "smash" as dumb as i think it is?

I'm sorry my verbiage is not up to par. do you have a synonym that you find more preferable for fucking?

[faxman75]

I wouldnt take it that serious.

Who me? I'm hardly taking it serious. I think the alternative words people use for fucking are silly and in this case the word chosen was ironic. No reason to be sensitive.

Mo, that was the first time I heard that term which is why it stood out to me.

[MoSetsfire]

Who me? I'm hardly taking it serious. I think the alternative words people use for fucking are silly and in this case the word chosen was ironic. No reason to be sensitive.

I found humor in the irony. no worries.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

smash and bang is my favorite combination

[algunz]

I'm sorry my verbiage is not up to par. do you have a synonym that you find more preferable for fucking?

I've always liked porking.

Bacon is my favorite food. I even have bacon earrings.

[locachica73]

I like the term banging as well. Or doin it. Smashing makes me think of the little dudes who like big ladies to sit on them.

[Drinkey McDrinkerstein]

when i have sex i like to say that i'm swimming in a woman

[algunz]

I like to say I'm riding my high horse.

[chiapet]

I have set up a date that is so sketchy that I don't think I'll post about it in here.

[algunz]

Ah don't play with us like that. Those are the best dates to hear about, besides you may want to let someone know some details in case we don't hear from you again.

[chiapet]

LOL, I did actually already text a friend the place and time (and will be sending her the guy's number, once I have it), "just in case."

I'm meeting someone I know nothing about for a burlesque show, and it seems very likely that he is only interested in getting boned.

[Miroir Noir]

At least he didn't propose to just meet you at your place with a Redbox rental and a pizza.

[M Sparks]

For some reason this reminds me of my favorite product review of all time.

YES! That whole page is one of the internet's finest moments.

I have set up a date that is so sketchy that I don't think I'll post about it in here.

I'll be monitoring the Confessions thread.

So, the girl I re-met last weekend (the one with the wrong beer) runs a Meetup.com group. It's centered around bar fun, so...pool, darts, trivia, karaoke, local bands, whatever. Yesterday she posted a last minute meetup for a pool place that was running some kind of Groupon (but not that) for free burgers on Sunday. There was only one other person signed up. I went to get the online coupon, but they were all gone. So I posted on the event page comments- "Coupons are gone ".

I checked it late last night and it now says "THERE ARE NO MORE FREE BURGERS, BUT YOU ARE STILL WELCOME TO JOIN ME FOR LUNCH AND POOL" in the description. Then, down in the comments, it says "Marc, you can come and split my veggie burger with me if you want."

I'm taking this as a good sign.

[chiapet]

That's a great sign! You should go. If nothing more, it sounds like a fun way to meet more people.

[chiapet]

And the confessions thread confession would likely be something to do with *I don't even know what this guy looks like*. He kept me entertained with pervy chat that somehow came across as more cheeky than gross.

We set a date, I sent him my number (google, this time), and suggested he send me a photo so I can pick him out of the crowd of other half Asian hipsters in the crowd...

[M Sparks]

That's a great sign! You should go. If nothing more, it sounds like a fun way to meet more people.

Not really, considering only one other person signed up and they said "I might come later". But all the more reason for me to show up.

(But yes, the group itself seems like a good place to meet people. I was in another group that hasn't been much fun and was really stagnant. This this I was at last weekend was a joint meetup between that group and this girl's new, more "active" group.)

[chiapet]

Yes, I hear that bars are only open to pre-arranged meetings of groups of friends. I meant, going to play pool, with the bonus of having some friends there so it's easier to flirt / meet girls without looking like you just came there to... flirt and meet girls.

[Mugwog]

Man, real talk, Id be pissed off to hell and back if some girl slapped me while we were hooking up. I don't even know how I would respond to that.

Hah, try a girl trying to bite your cheek off while she rides you on top, its like some crazy zombie sex fantasy.

[Robin]

Hah, try a girl trying to bite your cheek off while she rides you on top, its like some crazy zombie sex fantasy.

Whaaaaa??

Now I'm starting to wonder if I need to be a bit more adventurous when smashing.

[M Sparks]

Yes, I hear that bars are only open to pre-arranged meetings of groups of friends. I meant, going to play pool, with the bonus of having some friends there so it's easier to flirt / meet girls without looking like you just came there to... flirt and meet girls.

Ha, yes, although it's 11am on a Sunday. It will mainly be filled with people trying to cash coupons for free burgers.

Which, honestly, is probably just my type.

[Mugwog]

Whaaaaa??

Now I'm starting to wonder if I need to be a bit more adventurous when smashing.

more fun ideas