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Thread: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

  1. #2521
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Did the same for me. I also don't much care for the "u" though.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

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    Coachella Junkie faxman75's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Well, she said she was a big news nerd and liked the National. Lets try to be more productive in our criticism rather than just say "Dooooomed". I already know I suck, duh.

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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Robin View Post
    Saying that you're not a loner put up a red flag for me. But don't listen to me. I'm the one that doesn't like "u."
    Would that tell you the guy is probably a loner? I can see that. Good to know and I won't say that in the future.

  4. #2524
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Mark, I have a few thoughts on your message. If you don't mind a gentle critique.

    I really like that you pay attention to her profile and reference specific things on it -- it shows that you are paying attention and is way more likely to get you a response. I also really like that you ask her specific questions so that it gives her an easy way to respond if she's interested, without having to grasp for conversation topics.

    What I don't like so much is that you do the "I'm not a loner" thing. Anytime a guy sends me a message saying "I'm not in a relationship" or "I'm not a couch potato" or whatever, that's pretty much a red flag that he IS those things. And if nothing else, it makes you seem less confident. There's no need to make a negative statement like that -- just don't mention it at all.

    I would also take out the "heh" at the end, which also makes you seem less confident. Make a statement or a question with certainty and don't modify it with verbal cues that you are trying to back down from it.

    I'm not sure what the political and current event discussion sentence has to do with the rest of the message. Does she mention that in her profile? It seems like an odd transition to me. If she does mention it in her profile, make sure to say that you read it there, so it's clear you are paying attention to her. I think there have been studies that show that even repeating back similar phrases and word structures is helpful in picking up women, because knowing that you are listening is REALLY important to us.

    And lastly, you do have three typos in there. But it's not a big deal depending on the woman you are trying to message. Personally, I probably wouldn't be too worried about the typos because overall you seem fairly literate. But definitely be careful not to get more sloppy than that.

  5. #2525
    Coachella Junkie chairmenmeow47's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by SoulDischarge View Post
    Oh man. Bragging about your vinyl collection in the second sentance. Doooooooooomed.
    Quote Originally Posted by Robin View Post
    Saying that you're not a loner put up a red flag for me. But don't listen to me. I'm the one that doesn't like "u."
    i agree with both of these comments. maybe others disagree, but less is more. make a reference about their profile (which you did, good ), quickly introduce yourself (name, one interesting thing), and ask a question they will want to respond to. the more you type, the more they can find that they may dislike lol.
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  6. #2526
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    My OKCupid ID is MojaveTent. I don't know how to find any of you.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

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    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Alchemy, I just added you to my favorites. You should get a message so you can find my profile.

    Feel free to critique what I have written and suggest edits if you like. I need all the writerly help I can get.

  8. #2528
    Coachella Junkie Miroir Noir's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by faxman75 View Post
    Well, she said she was a big news nerd and liked the National. Lets try to be more productive in our criticism rather than just say "Dooooomed". I already know I suck, duh.
    In your reply back, skip opining on the news and talk more about the National. Explain what you like about Matt's lyrics, or the band's sound. Instead of talking about the depths of your fandom in practical terms or merchandise or shows, talk about why they matter to you, what you get out it. That makes the message both personal and interesting.
    Quote Originally Posted by sk8r408 View Post
    The word "lulzy" is offensive.

  9. #2529
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    Alchemy, I just added you to my favorites. You should get a message so you can find my profile.

    Feel free to critique what I have written and suggest edits if you like. I need all the writerly help I can get.
    Well, I'm disappointed that we are only 13% enemies, Courtney. I was rather hoping that we'd begin a beautiful rivalry.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  10. #2530
    Coachella Junkie chiapet's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I think the news/politics thing is okay because he already told us that she said she's really into it. The transition is a little awkward, but it doesn't bother me. He's just pointing out that he shares some interests with her.

    But I agree that I wouldn't use the "I'm not a loner" line again. Maybe something like "I just moved to downtown Phoenix from (previous neighborhood/town), and I am looking forward to meeting some new people and exploring the neighborhood." From your message I read it more as you just moved to Phoenix, without the stress on downtown. So maybe mentioning that you moved from within Phoenix or just saying that you've recently moved to a different neighborhood (without specifying), will help establish that you're not completely new to Phoenix, friendless and desperate for company...

    Edit: It is really tough to write thoughtful messages to strangers. There have been a lot of guys I thought seemed cute or interesting, but I really couldn't think of anything interesting to write to them, so I skipped it.

  11. #2531
    Coachella Junkie faxman75's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    What I don't like so much is that you do the "I'm not a loner" thing. Anytime a guy sends me a message saying "I'm not in a relationship" or "I'm not a couch potato" or whatever, that's pretty much a red flag that he IS those things. And if nothing else, it makes you seem less confident. There's no need to make a negative statement like that -- just don't mention it at all.
    Got it. For some reason I wouldn't have thought making a statement would mean the opposite but I at least get the less confident part. It's kind of like i'm compensating or being defensive about it, yes?

    I would also take out the "heh" at the end, which also makes you seem less confident. Make a statement or a question with certainty and don't modify it with verbal cues that you are trying to back down from it.
    Noted. I debated putting that in as well.

    I'm not sure what the political and current event discussion sentence has to do with the rest of the message. Does she mention that in her profile? It seems like an odd transition to me. If she does mention it in her profile, make sure to say that you read it there, so it's clear you are paying attention to her. I think there have been studies that show that even repeating back similar phrases and word structures is helpful in picking up women, because knowing that you are listening is REALLY important to us.
    Yes, it was in her profile. She said she was an avid news reader and loves discussing politics.

    And lastly, you do have three typos in there. But it's not a big deal depending on the woman you are trying to message. Personally, I probably wouldn't be too worried about the typos because overall you seem fairly literate. But definitely be careful not to get more sloppy than that.
    I think my messages can only improve from here. Thanks for the tips. I'm definitely lacking in the confidence department but there is no need for me to allow it to come across in my messages. I should be able to handle a quick spell check, it would show i'm at least putting forth some effort.

  12. #2532
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    HAHAHAH!! Oh my...
    I just got this message on OKC

    From fremontguy01
    "Hi Are you crazy? I hope you are."

  13. #2533
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Alchemy View Post
    My OKCupid ID is MojaveTent. I don't know how to find any of you.
    46
    60
    26

    I think you might be my worst match on the boards, so far.

  14. #2534
    Coachella Junkie chiapet's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by faxman75 View Post
    It's kind of like i'm compensating or being defensive about it, yes?
    Yes, that's exactly it.

    I think some guys can be too over the top in how confidently they present themselves, but I don't think you personally are going to risk that. A good thing to do before hitting send is to re-read what you've written and make sure you don't come across as self-depreciating -- while that sort of humor can be funny sometimes from people you already know, it's a big turn off from a stranger. If you put out the vibe that you're not worth meeting or dating, other people will pick up on that. I have been working on re-writing my profile because I realized there were too many things that I'd included that came across as critical of myself or trying too hard to compensate for areas where I am critical of myself

  15. #2535
    Coachella Junkie faxman75's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Thanks to the rest of you for your tips as well. I'm guessing my profile could use some work too. Any suggestions there? I'm using the same name there as I am here.

  16. #2536
    Member Newro7ic's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Robin View Post
    46
    60
    26
    The measurements of my dream girl/woman/babe/darling/dear.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Women just obviously can't write creative music. They're all ripping off the Beatles, who were men. Duh.

  17. #2537
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    So many of my "matches" are depressing. I need to leave El Paso.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  18. #2538
    Coachella Junkie chiapet's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Mark, I think it looks okay. There are a few typos to clean up, but I think you presented yourself in a pretty positive way. I'm terrible at writing or editing profiles, so maybe someone else will come along with some specific suggestions.

    The only other thing I would suggest is maybe more photos, like maybe a head shot? On my monitor your face looks kind of fuzzy in the 2nd one and very blurry in the third.

  19. #2539
    Coachella Junkie nathanfairchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by Alchemy View Post
    So many of my "matches" are depressing. I need to leave El Paso.
    i feel the exact same. i'm stuck in Waco.
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  20. #2540
    old school bluemamba's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I think some of you are looking into the profile thing way too much. Edit: or the message Fax sent.

    A good part of your chances of a girl messaging you back on an online website is based on your looks. Since there's only that and what you end up writing to her, how big do you think your chances are if she doesn't find you attractive??Mannerisms, the tone of your voice, ect ect don't come across on the net so that doesn't help.

  21. #2541
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Uh........

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  22. #2542
    Member AlecEiffel's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I just want to give some recognition to M Sparks for busting out a They Might Be Giants deep cut this morning.

  23. #2543
    Member AlecEiffel's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Also, this thread makes OKCupid seem really fun, but I think my wife would be pissed if I made a profile.

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    Member Newro7ic's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by AlecEiffel View Post
    Also, this thread makes OKCupid seem really fun, but I think my wife would be pissed if I made a profile.
    The site you are looking for goes by Ashley Madison. You can thank me later.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Women just obviously can't write creative music. They're all ripping off the Beatles, who were men. Duh.

  25. #2545
    old school Robin's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by AlecEiffel View Post
    Also, this thread makes OKCupid seem really fun, but I think my wife would be pissed if I made a profile.
    Tell her to mind her own business and get back in the kitchen.

    In all seriousness, what if you just explained to her that it's just for fun? I mean, I didn't exactly create my profile to meet people.

  26. #2546
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Maybe my wife is crazy, but I don't think she'd find my OKC profile "fun". I'm gonna go ahead and guess Alec's wife may not see the humor too swiftly ether.

    But yeah, I'd tell her to get back in the kitchen as well.

    Though I am curious about match %'s.
    Last edited by marooko; 02-22-2012 at 02:46 PM.
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  27. #2547
    Member AlecEiffel's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    I still think she'd be uncomfortable with it. Or she might just make fun of me.

  28. #2548
    Coachella Junkie Alchemy's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Tell her that you are looking for enemies or friends. That is what I plan on telling anybody who tells me that they found me.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    I try to be politically pc more than most here: As a dude, anyone who could put a shark up a gals pc body, is pretty creepy, different and interesting. Just saying big time ..... cr****

  29. #2549
    Chest Rockwell Gribbz's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Quote Originally Posted by betao View Post
    There's an emoticon for jerking off on this forum?



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  30. #2550
    Coachella Junkie Miroir Noir's Avatar
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    Default Re: It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

    Why are you guys looking for "enemies"? If I wanted to make acquaintance with people who have annoyingly-different political, cultural, religious, and ethical views than I do, I'd just go to a Glenn Beck rally. Or to my high school reunion.
    Quote Originally Posted by sk8r408 View Post
    The word "lulzy" is offensive.

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