It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin: A Thread About Dating

[bmack86]

I mean, I feel that. It'd be hard for me to date someone right now if they had no interest in beer. Most of my favorite things to do at least tangentially involve having a beer in hand, but frequently directly involve beer, like brewery tours, tastings, hanging out at bars and sharing a few good new brews with friends. That's a big part of my life that I'd want to share with anyone I was with, and it'd suck to not be able to.

[Cameron Frye]

I mean, I feel that. It'd be hard for me to date someone right now if they had no interest in beer. Most of my favorite things to do at least tangentially involve having a beer in hand, but frequently directly involve beer, like brewery tours, tastings, hanging out at bars and sharing a few good new brews with friends. That's a big part of my life that I'd want to share with anyone I was with, and it'd suck to not be able to.

makes perfect sense

[kitt kat]

^ What Bmack said exactly.

Actually, the one thing I'd never be able to compromise would be musical taste. Not like "you must like the EXACT SAME SHIT" but it SHOULD overlap and they SHOULD have some larger investment in music as a hobby. I could never date a sportsbro.

Also, beer.

[Courtney]

Sadly, Bryan and I will never be then. Because I'm about 80% more likely to order a glass of wine than beer when going out to a restaurant. And I probably couldn't tell you the difference between a pilsner and a pale ale. Let me take a moment to mourn the loss of our nonexistent future.

[chiapet]

I don't know that they're necessarily expecting the girls to be as knowledgeable or even as enthusiastic as they are? But willing to go along with it and enjoy it, maybe?

I know almost nothing about beer, but I'm happy to drink it.

[Courtney]

I don't really know very much about wine either. Or hard liquor. I feel like my knowledge level is deficient in all things alcohol-related. I need to be schooled.

[getbetter]

I think if he's limiting his choices to women with good taste in beer, that could possibly count as unreasonably strict. I mean, is it really the end of the world if she orders a chardonnay instead of a niche microbrew?

Not the end of the world(way more brownie points if she orders a mircobrew that she knowingly is getting her self into), but if it's not a beer it's way more attractive she would to order a adult beverage like adult instead of someone that acting like it's their first time order a drink.I mean this last chick pissed me off when she called Jeffery Lee Pierce a *** with just seeing a live video on youtube without knowing anything about The Gun Club.

[algunz]

I'll bet it's less about beer and more about can they just hang out, drink, and discuss something interesting.

[casey]

I can't date Bmack, either. I will never (ever!) order a beer unless it's the only alcohol-related thing on the menu. I don't even really drink wine unless it's a wine that most wine snobs dislike (reisling or moscato). I like hard alcohol & that's pretty much it. That being said, I would definitely go on (and be interested in) a brewery tour or tasting, because maybe (just maybe) I haven't met MY beer yet. If a beer snob won't give me the time of day just because I don't already have a strong interest in beer, well, I guess that's their choice.

[chiapet]

"order an adult beverage like an adult instead of someone that is acting like it's their first time ordering a drink" <--- Sunni chewed me out on Friday for ordering a "red bull and vodka" at a bar. ALCOHOL FIRST. I swear it is the first time I've done that. And I didn't even realize what I'd said and was so confused about why she was complaining about my drink... I thought she was complaining that I had gotten a drink with red bull instead of something proper/straight.

Shame.

[getbetter]

I'll bet it's less about beer and more about can they just hang out, drink, and discuss something interesting.

Very important especially if they can't handle their alcohol and end up being a mess.I'm not a super alcoholic but it is kinda of cool in a weird way when the girl can drink more than you can.

[frizzlefry]

If I decided to do a complete 180 and look for a girlfriend again it would be nice if she was open minded about beer but that's the most. Similar musical tastes is almost a must, hate to have drag her along to a show she doesn't want to see or tell her to kick rocks when she wants me to see some poppy shit in a stadium. She has to read but above all have good taste, this is more important than the music and beer combined, owning Twilight is a deal breaker basically, someone who recommends good books to me is my dream girl. Other things like being a good and kinky lay or getting over the fact that I'm not most punctual person should just follow.

[HotHamWater]

For being such a music geek, music taste is surprisingly not a huge deal to me when dating someone. I think I just expect her to be supportive of my interest, even if she doesn't quite have the same level of enthusiasm and like the same bands I do. I've dated music geeks, and the relationships were terrible. The most stable/normal relationship I've ever had was with someone who has downright terrible taste in music. But it was never a big issue. In the grand scheme of things, for me, that's really not a big deal. And music is my favorite thing in the world.

Understanding my sense of humor might be the biggest priority, aside from the obvious things like her not being a serial killer or Republican.

[chairmenmeow47]

i agree with tommy. when i was younger, i felt like similar taste in movies/music was super important. but most of those relationships were my most volatile. i also prefer some to be supportive of my choices. i don't have to do everything with my partner. it's a nice bonus, but it's not a requirement. as far as food/beverages, who the fuck cares what other people eat. it's only annoying when your partner ONLY wants to eat at places that you don't like. but these days i care more about a person's character than what they consume.

and not being able to drink makes dating a little annoying. i wouldn't be able to date any of you. i think it's kind of a blessing with the dating thing though, because i am looking for something more serious than i once was. and not being able to drink will help keep away the DTF people. i used to be DTF so i'm not against it, it's just not for me anymore.

[getbetter]

A girl that didn't drink but supported my habit by being my dd would be amazing btw.

[SoulDischarge]

Allergic to cats = dealbreaker.

[Down Rodeo]

RE: The asking/moving in for the kill dilemma. Kinda pulled that on the guy I was hooking up with after my breakup. He had invited me over after a concert, we were hanging out in his room listening to records and drinking...but he didn't really make a move. So, I said I was going to go. He walks me to the door, but so clearly just wanted to sleep with me. I tell him, "If you're going to do something, just do it."

And then we had sex. It was pretty nice. Except now he doesn't talk to me. Sigh.

I really wish some girls in my past had done this to me and bailed me out when I was too pussy to make a move. I sense that's a common occurrence amongst some of the guys in here. Maybe that's why we're bitching about dating on an internet message board....

Actually, the one thing I'd never be able to compromise would be musical taste. Not like "you must like the EXACT SAME SHIT" but it SHOULD overlap and they SHOULD have some larger investment in music as a hobby.

This is exactly how I feel right now, about film too. I mean, you don't have to sit down and watch Tarkovsky & Godard films with me but I want to date someone who's intellectually curious about this stuff.

[SoulDischarge]

I'd have a really hard time getting along with someone without much interest in culture. Ideally, I'd like to be able to see a show with someone, go to an interesting movie together, visit an art museum, etc. And they'd have to have a similar appreciation for high culture as well as trash culture. I don't want someone looking down on me because I want to watch a shitty 80s action flick. I really doubt I'd be able to make things work with someone who primarily listens to Lady Gaga and watches crappy romantic comedies or whatever people are into these days.

[hippityhip]

Exactly what the last few posts is what I'm looking for. Where can I find a girl who loves shit like independent films, art, awesome music, great beer, and great food? Shit she doesn't have to be a model just be a chill girl who I can have around and enjoy stuff with.

[marooko]

Is support anywhere in these equations, or does it have to be a mutual love for?

[algunz]

Support?

[buddy]

For being such a music geek, music taste is surprisingly not a huge deal to me when dating someone. I think I just expect her to be supportive of my interest, even if she doesn't quite have the same level of enthusiasm and like the same bands I do. I've dated music geeks, and the relationships were terrible. The most stable/normal relationship I've ever had was with someone who has downright terrible taste in music. But it was never a big issue. In the grand scheme of things, for me, that's really not a big deal. And music is my favorite thing in the world.

Understanding my sense of humor might be the biggest priority, aside from the obvious things like her not being a serial killer or Republican.

This pretty much sums up my experience, as well. I've been a relationship for a while, with the last two years being on and off again, however it's finally time to move on. I've never done online dating, and I wouldn't be oppose to it, but I am a bit nervous about thought of putting myself out there in that way, for whatever reason. I don't really care if they are into similiar music, just as long as they are open to it. And yeah, no republicans.

[wstsidela]

I broke up with the supposed love of my life because she had shit for taste in movies & music. It was a deal breaker.

[marooko]

A girl that didn't drink but supported my habit by being my dd would be amazing btw.

I guess I mean something like this. There are many things that me and my wife aren't mutually interested in, but we support eachothers interests. She doesn't like RC, but sometimes she'll come watch. I don't like shit TV, but sometimes I'll watch it with her. Not great examples, but I think it may convey the idea.

It seems like some of the posts are wanting a mirror image, but with the opposite genitalia.

[chiapet]

^^ marooko, I think that's ideal. Having someone be interested (or become interested) in everything you like is overwhelming. A couple shouldn't have to share everything... but have some common interests, support each other in some of the interests they don't share, and just leave each other alone to pursue some of them.

But I mean, it is a bummer when the person you're with does not like any of the music you do, or doesn't enjoy going to see music at all, or likes completely different types of movies, social events, etc.... it makes it feel like every outing is a compromise.

[marooko]

OK, I got that and can understand. It just didn't seem to be coming through much, previously.

[guedita]

Exactly what the last few posts is what I'm looking for. Where can I find a girl who loves shit like independent films, art, awesome music, great beer, and great food? Shit she doesn't have to be a model just be a chill girl who I can have around and enjoy stuff with.

It baffles me to think that this isn't the norm. But my cursory investigation into OKC seems to verify the fact that most people are somewhat dull. I mean, I have a lot of girlfriends who I can't even hang out with regularly because they are so horrifically bland and lacking cultured taste. They get hit on/asked out all the time.

[kitt kat]

Where can I find a girl who loves shit like independent films, art, awesome music, great beer, and great food? Shit she doesn't have to be a model just be a chill girl who I can have around and enjoy stuff with.

See, people say they want this all the time — but they don't walk the fucking walk.

I always heard this from guys. SO THEN WHY WHEN YOU (collective hypothetical you) MEET ME WHY ARE YOU ALL SUCH JERKS AND UNINTERESTED1!!?!?!?!?!

I give up on everything, y'all.

EDIT: No, really. This pisses me off. I'm just a semi-awkward weird girl with a massive record collection, art museum and Cinefamily memberships, and I'm a total foodie/beer geek. WHY DON'T MEN WANT ME? (Probably the lack of boobs?)

I mean, I have a lot of girlfriends who I can't even hang out with regularly because they are so horrifically bland and lacking cultured taste. They get hit on/asked out all the time.

THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS.

People say they don't want bland, but they go for bland. Like, BLAAAND.

[kitt kat]

This being said, the guy I was hooking up with is going to this show tonight. ANYONE WANT TO BE MY WINGMAN?

Otherwise, another night alone on the couch with only chips to save me.

[Wheres the beef?]

A Summary of Every Girl on OKCupid:

I'm down to earth but a free spirit
I love to laugh
I love sappy chick flicks but can also drink beers with the guys
I'm easy going
I read lots of books (most of which you've never heard of)
I like going out but also don't mind staying in
I love to travel but like cuddling on the couch
I love my cats/dogs/parakeet
I like all kinds of music
I like all kinds of food
I like all kinds of movies