Pay $125 for a girl to gargle 1/2 oz of milk for 10 seconds and have it delivered to you.Our secret ingredient is in the process through which rich, beautiful, white girls gargle your milk to absolute perfection. It's her touch that sets us far above the rest.
6/15/14 Failure - Glasshouse // 7/9/14 Cloud Nothings/Metz - Roxy
7/16/14 Planes Mistaken For Stars - Echo // 8/23-24/14 FYF Fest - Expo Park //8/25/14 Nine Inch Nails - Hollywood Bowl // 9/12-14/14 Riotfest - Humboldt Park, Chicago, IL
9/18/14 Neutral Milk Hotel - Hollywood Bowl
So y'all got your milk on today?
Had yesterday off for Yom Kippur... Today feels like a monday.
Also thanks for reminding me that we're out of creamer here at work. I'll put a request in for that gargled stuff.
You know, but that's valid because if we are all gonna die anyway shouldn't we be enjoying ourselves now? You know, I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something else.
It's that tad bit of Crazy that keeps me Sane...
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Echo & the Bunnymen 8/2, Sir Paul McCartney 8/14, Offspring/Pennywise/Bad Religion 8/31, Swans 9/8, Cibo Matto 10/4, The Weeknd/Schoolboy Q/Jhene Aiko 10/10, Charli XCX 10/25
SDCC 7/24-27, Outside Kanye West Lands 8/8, FYF Fest 8/23-24, Mad Decent Block Party 9/19, Holy Ship! 1/3-6/2015, Coachella 4/10-12&17-19/2015
Over the past few months, I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping. A lot of restless nights, tossing and turning, night sweats, yadda yadda yadda. I told my mom about it last night, and she legitimately thinks that I'm going through menopause.
Scheduled an appointment to get my haircut at 12:45. Waiting this extra 30 minutes to leave for lunch is killing me, in retrospect I would not make the same decision.
Stood in front of the house for 30 minutes right now watching a sobriety checkpoint. No one's been arrested yet.
2 oz blended whiskey
Juice of 1/2 lemon
1/2 tsp powdered sugar
1/2 slice lemon
Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.
I been thinking about buying this. I mean, it's hands free.
The hands-free "sperm extractor" is a stand up device with a height-adjustable "massage pipe" that moves inward and outward from the main body of the sperm extractor. According to the manufacturer, the speed, amplitude and frequency can be adjusted by the user, which aims to provide a "warm" and "comfortable" feeling for users who find difficult to retrieve their sperm the traditional, manual way. There is even a screen to play movie content to help with the extraction process.
The description of a sperm extractor may be a bit misleading, since the extraction is done not for the purpose of sperm donation, but to collect a patient's sperm during an infertility treatment. Zhu Guoxin, director of the urology department at the hospital also noted that previous methods that involved the use of condoms may have negatively impacted the test results to the use of lubricants and other chemicals on them.
The sperm extractor is on sale for about $2,800.
Took two shits today, I must have been backed up for the last few days. Since switching my diet I have been pooping more regularly.
This is one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen. What the fuck???
Milk that may appear by smell to be perfectly consumable (even organic), can contain contaminants such as suspended particles, parasites, bacteria, viruses, and fungi. Through extensive recruitment within the upper echelons of society, we deliver the finest milk purified in a way only we can. Our secret ingredient is in the process through which rich, beautiful, white girls gargle your milk to absolute perfection. It's her touch that sets us far above the rest. Our diverse selection includes West Coast, The South, New England, New York, and London. Each of the carefully selected girls offer subtle differences of background, yet what they share is most important. All are waiting to clean your milk with their mouths. That is our promise to you!
Filling out immigration paperwork. Also deciding if I should hyphenate my last name or full boar take my husbands.
boaring shit about your life. I hope you don't get to boared in Canada. My guess is you'll fit in quite nicely.
Looking for a place to live. Miss sleeping in my own bed.
I was at a party and started to feel really nauseous, I thought it was from a shot of vodka I had. It was the type that comes in a skull, I had never seen it before, so I decided to try it. About an hour later, I was feeling ready to vomit. Then I basically shat my pants with a violent gas eruption. It turns out the Elephant Bar's happy hour menu is quite a gassy one.