Coachella used to present unique bands. This dance line-up feels like spring break in Miami. Guetta? SHM? Afrojack? Girl Talk? Calvin Harris?

Are you FUCKING KIDDING WITH THIS SHIT?

I guess they'll be offering bottle service soon - oh, wait, they actually do at the Sahara Tent VIP area. Oh my GOD! Coachella has become Las Vegas any weekend of the year.

Pretty sad.