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Thread: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

  1. #31
    Member fiopadp7791's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    What ended up happening to the "Gentleman's Club"? That MTV show with Farnsworth Bentley? I got into the 1st season of that, but kinda forgot about it...
    If y'all fresh to death, then I'm deceased... -Kanye West
    Jamiroquai 2014 please.
    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    How is any of that ironic? On this board I absolutely expect terrible people to call other people terrible.

  2. #32
    Coachella Junkie jackstraw94086's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by PlayaDelWes View Post
    Lolling on a chair.
    the list is so old that it has ironically become up to date.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by stinkbutt View Post
    Also, what is proper etiquette for telling your sister she is a bitchy control freak at Thanksgiving?
    The best course of action is to minimize contact. Offer to take charge of seat assignments this year for the big dinner, and make sure to place your sister as far at the other end of the table as possible. Try to either put her between two of the biggest, loudest, most dominant personalities to help drown out the bitchiness, or put her next to people so mellow that even she cannot rattle them.

    During open socializing outside of the big meal, try to encourage your family to give her "important" tasks that will keep her occupied with busy work, reducing the amount of free time she has to dedicate to bitchiness, while simultaneously providing her with a false sense of power and satisfying her need for control.

    And, if all else fails, attempt to get diagnosed with Tourettes so that you call her out for all her bitchy control freak behavior whenever you want.

  4. #34
    old school greghead's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    I want to convince my recently-retired father to smoke weed. His best friend, a retired cop, already smokes regularly but lives in a different city. My dad used to smoke but is 66 and is pretty Republican. He does own several hundred totally awesome records. He may be susceptible, how do I broach this delicately?
    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    I'm sorry, it's hard for me to understand you from all the way up here on the Legend Tier. What was that?

  5. #35
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Edibles. And don't tell him. He will be a slave after a bite and some good tunes.

  6. #36
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    Goatchella, well done on having the perception to realize that this is a tricky situation that calls for extreme care.

    In an ideal world, your relationship would be strong enough and your girlfriend would be cool enough that this would be a non-issue. However, given what you have said, it's difficult to tell if your girlfriend is really ok with the situation, or if she is simply pretending to be ok with it because she doesn't want to appear to be a paranoid clinger.

    Luckily, there is a simple solution to this problem: find an activity that would be fun for everyone, and invite them both to come along. If your girlfriend really IS ok with you hanging out with the friend, she will probably just decline the invitation and no harm will be done. However, if your girlfriend is feeling threatened, the invitation will hopefully give her some peace of mind in knowing that she has the freedom to monitor the situation if she really feels it to be necessary. Invite a couple additional people along and make it a group activity if your girlfriend does decide she wants to come along, to avoid it being too awkward.

    Whatever the outcome, make sure that you are regularly telling and also showing your girlfriend that she is loved and appreciated. It's a lot easier for someone to feel threatened and jealous when that person is already feeling neglected in a relationship. By giving your girlfriend positive affirmation in the strength of your relationship, she will be more likely to be completely secure with whatever you choose to do outside of the relationship.
    I can haz two dates? I like your style =) They are both friends on facebook and this old friend is always liking everything my girl posts. maybe she just wants mh Chewbacca of a lover.
    You wanna fook on me?!

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by greghead View Post
    I want to convince my recently-retired father to smoke weed. His best friend, a retired cop, already smokes regularly but lives in a different city. My dad used to smoke but is 66 and is pretty Republican. He does own several hundred totally awesome records. He may be susceptible, how do I broach this delicately?
    ask him if he wants to listen to Harry Chapins Taxi...have a couple drinks...ask him if he can help you roll a joint as you are a bit tipsy and a poor roller due to the advanced science of glass waterpipes...he will either school ya or want to try out a new bong.
    You wanna fook on me?!

  8. #38
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by Drinkey McDrinkerstein View Post
    What is the best way to deal with a no reason boner when you're at Thanksgiving dinner?
    If the shirt is tucked in, untuck it. Place upright in waistband until it subsides. Be carefull to not stimulate the effected area with unnecessary movement, as this will only make the effected area more inflamed.

  9. #39
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by NachoCat View Post
    If the shirt is tucked in, untuck it. Place upright in waistband until it subsides. Be carefull to not stimulate the effected area with unnecessary movement, as this will only make the effected area more inflamed.
    the more you try to avoid the more it grows.

    I would go stare into the freezer for a few minutes
    You wanna fook on me?!

  10. #40
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    Confused on what sort of Christmas gift to give your boss
    don't ever do this ever. The only message you'll be sending is "I am willing to kiss your ass to get your attention".
    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    HAY CAN SOMEONE DRIVE DOWN TO THE FESTIVAL GROUNDS AND SEE IF THE BEER BARN IS REALLY A BARN?

  11. #41
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by stinkbutt View Post
    I think boasting about luxury and wealth is definitely improper etiquette
    So true. I was just complaining to Jeeves about this the other day.
    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    HAY CAN SOMEONE DRIVE DOWN TO THE FESTIVAL GROUNDS AND SEE IF THE BEER BARN IS REALLY A BARN?

  12. #42
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    My 42 year old sister is bringing her 24 year old boy friend (whom I have not met) over to my house for Thansgiving tomorrow. What are good topics of conversation? I will probably end up avoiding speaking altogether but maybe I should make some sort of effort? My sister's 20-ish year old female friend is coming too. I think my sister's friends will both be arriving earlier than my other family members because they are helping my sister make dinner (yes, she's making dinner at my house). I am just worried about things being awkward.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  13. #43
    Coachella Junkie Mr. Dylanja's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Is there anything you need me to bring?
    Quote Originally Posted by Hannahrain View Post
    Will somebody trade their bow ticket for my stern ticket? I have this thing where I get seasick if I'm on the wrong side of the engine room, and it works better with my schedule to be on the front end of the changing time zone.

  14. #44
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by Courtney View Post
    Goatchella, well done on having the perception to realize that this is a tricky situation that calls for extreme care.

    In an ideal world, your relationship would be strong enough and your girlfriend would be cool enough that this would be a non-issue. However, given what you have said, it's difficult to tell if your girlfriend is really ok with the situation, or if she is simply pretending to be ok with it because she doesn't want to appear to be a paranoid clinger.

    Luckily, there is a simple solution to this problem: find an activity that would be fun for everyone, and invite them both to come along. If your girlfriend really IS ok with you hanging out with the friend, she will probably just decline the invitation and no harm will be done. However, if your girlfriend is feeling threatened, the invitation will hopefully give her some peace of mind in knowing that she has the freedom to monitor the situation if she really feels it to be necessary. Invite a couple additional people along and make it a group activity if your girlfriend does decide she wants to come along, to avoid it being too awkward.

    Whatever the outcome, make sure that you are regularly telling and also showing your girlfriend that she is loved and appreciated. It's a lot easier for someone to feel threatened and jealous when that person is already feeling neglected in a relationship. By giving your girlfriend positive affirmation in the strength of your relationship, she will be more likely to be completely secure with whatever you choose to do outside of the relationship.
    You better hope he doesn't actually light that fuse.
    If she were the type that felt the need chaperone a casual hang out then life is going to be hard with her from here on out. However, she may have other qualities that make this workable.

    The gf has called him out for wanting to date her. The worst thing he can do is go on a date with her, as innocent as he may think he's being.
    At least one person is guaranteed to be upset about it.

    If he doesn't hang out with the other girl, she might be a little disappointed, but probably less so than the gf, who's happiness should matter more anyway.

    Of course, if he really wants to hang out with this girl at the risk of upsetting his gf, and the other girls persistent enough to keep at him, then something's wrong with the gf situation from the start.

  15. #45
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    My 42 year old sister is bringing her 24 year old boy friend (whom I have not met) over to my house for Thansgiving tomorrow. What are good topics of conversation? I will probably end up avoiding speaking altogether but maybe I should make some sort of effort? My sister's 20-ish year old female friend is coming too. I think my sister's friends will both be arriving earlier than my other family members because they are helping my sister make dinner (yes, she's making dinner at my house). I am just worried about things being awkward.
    I think the most appropriate conversation subject with your sister is how long she plans to sustain her cocaine addiction.

  16. #46
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Perhaps I should just PM questions to Courtney.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  17. #47
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by jackstraw94086 View Post
    You better hope he doesn't actually light that fuse.
    If she were the type that felt the need chaperone a casual hang out then life is going to be hard with her from here on out. However, she may have other qualities that make this workable.

    The gf has called him out for wanting to date her. The worst thing he can do is go on a date with her, as innocent as he may think he's being.
    At least one person is guaranteed to be upset about it.

    If he doesn't hang out with the other girl, she might be a little disappointed, but probably less so than the gf, who's happiness should matter more anyway.

    Of course, if he really wants to hang out with this girl at the risk of upsetting his gf, and the other girls persistent enough to keep at him, then something's wrong with the gf situation from the start.
    If he goes, the GF will be upset. If he does not go both he and the other girl would be upset. Lesser of two evils is to go out with the other girl and only upset 1 person. Protip: Say you are not going , change other girls name in your phone to "Paul". Then go out drinking with "Paul" one night. WIN_WIN_WIN situation.

    Half kidding of course.

  18. #48
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Courtney, in reference to my earlier question regarding what to bring to the in-laws house. I found out that she does drink but prefers tequila, she just doesn't drink when she comes down here because she usually has to drive back up north. I was told all the food items were covered and I don't know if she has allergies so I don't think I want to do flowers. Would a nice bottle of good tequila be a nice gesture without appearing to be trying to suck up?
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  19. #49
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Excellent gift. IMO

  20. #50
    Coachella Junkie jackstraw94086's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by NachoCat View Post
    If he goes, the GF will be upset. If he does not go both he and the other girl would be upset. Lesser of two evils is to go out with the other girl and only upset 1 person.
    the notion of each of those people's "upsetedness" being of equal importance is the problem.

  21. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by NachoCat View Post
    If he goes, the GF will be upset. If he does not go both he and the other girl would be upset. Lesser of two evils is to go out with the other girl and only upset 1 person. Protip: Say you are not going , change other girls name in your phone to "Paul". Then go out drinking with "Paul" one night. WIN_WIN_WIN situation.

    Half kidding of course.
    lol I dont need tips on how to break hearts. Im very very good at that, to the point that it became too easy and now I get my kicks being a good person. I havent cheated on my girl in four years man...and she isnt some dime piece or the perfect woman by most standards. It is totally worth it to me to have honesty and trust.

    My girl would get along with this girl and the only thing that makes me think it is more than just hanging out is the fact that she sent me some pretty secksie pics right before me and my girl got together...like this chick woulda been my next fwb, but I got with my chick instead. I dont wanna cheat. Im all about me. Women dont really impact my life cause I do what I want. I am just tripping on my girl telling me its cool to chill with this other girl.
    You wanna fook on me?!

  22. #52
    Coachella Junkie jackstraw94086's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    you're a real catch.

  23. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by jackstraw94086 View Post
    you're a real catch.
    Anyone that has had the pleasure would agree. Only they wouldnt be joking or reeking of douche
    You wanna fook on me?!

  24. #54
    Coachella Junkie jackstraw94086's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by Goatchella View Post
    Anyone that has had the pleasure would agree. Only they wouldnt be joking or reeking of douche
    Quote Originally Posted by Goatchella View Post
    My girl would get along with this girl and the only thing that makes me think it is more than just hanging out is the fact that she sent me some pretty secksie pics right before me and my girl got together...like this chick woulda been my next fwb, but I got with my chick instead. I dont wanna cheat. Im all about me. Women dont really impact my life cause I do what I want. I am just tripping on my girl telling me its cool to chill with this other girl.

    reeking of douche, you say?

  25. #55
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by greghead View Post
    I want to convince my recently-retired father to smoke weed. His best friend, a retired cop, already smokes regularly but lives in a different city. My dad used to smoke but is 66 and is pretty Republican. He does own several hundred totally awesome records. He may be susceptible, how do I broach this delicately?
    I think that going the friend route is probably the path of least resistance. Perhaps you can find someone in his age range and of similar political background to broach the subject with him. Let that friend broach the subject instead of trying to address it yourself. Perhaps have that friend bring edibles to the next dinner party or social gathering.

    My father is a similar demographic, but he has some hippie genes from his teens and early 20s, and he will occasionally partake but only when he is in the company of a peer group that all also partake so that it becomes the social norm. Conformity is strong stuff.

  26. #56
    MENACING Courtney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    don't ever do this ever. The only message you'll be sending is "I am willing to kiss your ass to get your attention".
    I generally tend to agree, but I think it depends on the corporate culture of your specific workplace, and also your individual relationship with your boss.

  27. #57
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    My 42 year old sister is bringing her 24 year old boy friend (whom I have not met) over to my house for Thansgiving tomorrow. What are good topics of conversation? I will probably end up avoiding speaking altogether but maybe I should make some sort of effort? My sister's 20-ish year old female friend is coming too. I think my sister's friends will both be arriving earlier than my other family members because they are helping my sister make dinner (yes, she's making dinner at my house). I am just worried about things being awkward.
    Amy, there is a really easy trick to this: just get the people talking about themselves. People LOVE talking about themselves. Ask relevant questions and follow up with appropriate head nodding and "uh huh"s to show you are very interested in what they have to say. If you can find a subject that the person is passionate about, you are golden.

    So, for someone who is 20 or 24, you might ask them what they are studying at school, and what sort of career they are thinking about going into and why. You can ask them about their hobbies. You may be surprised and even find that you have some common ground when it comes to pop culture references -- what movies or tv shows or books or music they are into. And, if you don't have any clue what they are talking about, simply follow up your preliminary question with a, "Oh! I have never heard of that! How fascinating. Please tell me more -- why do you like it? Where should I start if I want to go learn more?"

    It also helps to have some general topical news references on hand. If these are folks who read the newspaper, scan a couple issues this week to make sure you know what's going on in sports, local politics, etc. If these are people who are more likely to read Us Weekly, then you should be sure to check on who Kim Kardashian is currently dating. It's good to have that sort of material as a last resort. Then you can always pull the, "I read THE most interesting article in last week's New Yorker! Have you heard about how Penn State University has embroiled itself in the fracking controversy?"

  28. #58
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    My 42 year old sister is bringing her 24 year old boy friend (whom I have not met) over to my house for Thansgiving tomorrow. What are good topics of conversation? I will probably end up avoiding speaking altogether but maybe I should make some sort of effort? My sister's 20-ish year old female friend is coming too. I think my sister's friends will both be arriving earlier than my other family members because they are helping my sister make dinner (yes, she's making dinner at my house). I am just worried about things being awkward.
    AARP and Skrillex.
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  29. #59
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Sorry. No disrespect to Amyzzz or Courtney's thread.
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  30. #60
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    Default Re: Courtney's Guide to Etiquette

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    Courtney, in reference to my earlier question regarding what to bring to the in-laws house. I found out that she does drink but prefers tequila, she just doesn't drink when she comes down here because she usually has to drive back up north. I was told all the food items were covered and I don't know if she has allergies so I don't think I want to do flowers. Would a nice bottle of good tequila be a nice gesture without appearing to be trying to suck up?
    Yes, I think tequilla sounds like a great gift. Get a nice brand, and put it in a festive gift bag or a tie a bow around it with a pretty ribbon. If you're staying for the weekend and need a bigger gift, you could go the extra yard and pack the tequilla in a package with some good cocktail nuts, fresh limes, and maybe a couple fun margarita glasses or a cocktail shaker. But if it's just dinner, I'd say the tequilla tied with a ribbon is more than enough.

    And for the record, bringing a hostess gift to a big dinner or special event is never sucking up -- it's common courtesy!

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