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Thread: The Sex thread

  1. #1111
    Endearingly Dislikable RotationSlimWang's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    Changing gears here, any tips for how to not be completely terrible on one's first time? I mean it's gonna happen anyway, but maybe someone will say something useful. If not, it should still be fun.
    ... Should i even bother?

  2. #1112
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Ask the Cocoa Lounge http://www.cocoalounge.org/

  3. #1113
    Coachella Junkie SoulDischarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Find a corpse to practice on.
    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Thanks for giving us the opportunity to not give a fuck again.

  4. #1114
    Member LiquidL's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    Changing gears here, any tips for how to not be completely terrible on one's first time? I mean it's gonna happen anyway, but maybe someone will say something useful. If not, it should still be fun.
    Make sure you take your chastity belt off so it doesn't get in the way.
    2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012: II, 2013: I, 2014: I

  5. #1115

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by stinkbutt View Post
    Has any of you guys ever put one of your balls (or both) in a girl's snizz?
    Booyah?
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Hey here's an idea. You know those people who are desperately poor, down on their luck, uneducated, abused, and generally ill-equipped for life? Let's make fun of them.

  6. #1116
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    Changing gears here, any tips for how to not be completely terrible on one's first time? I mean it's gonna happen anyway, but maybe someone will say something useful. If not, it should still be fun.

    It's more like art than it is golf. It's also not going to be your call, most likely, so no need to make a plan.

  7. #1117
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Cum in her face and then slap her when you're done, tell her the lord is ashamed.

  8. #1118
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Pleeeeease set a stopwatch before insertion and stop it immediately after ejaculation for your first time, Icey. Please, please, please, please, please.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  9. #1119

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    Pleeeeease set a stopwatch before insertion and stop it immediately after ejaculation for your first time, Icey. Please, please, please, please, please.
    lol. if past history is any indication, I won't finish
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Thurston Moore, Sebadoh - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  10. #1120
    old school ods..'s Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Go bareback raw; you'll finish.

    Also, don't be afraid of lube/spit.

  11. #1121

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    First part's not gonna happen bro
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Thurston Moore, Sebadoh - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  12. #1122
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Icey, they love it when you spontaneously stick it in their ass.

  13. #1123
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    lol. if past history is any indication, I won't finish
    FAKE IT

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  14. #1124

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by VigoTheCarpathian View Post
    Icey, they love it when you spontaneously stick it in their ass.
    I had a friend do this to his casual fuck buddy once. They had a pretty good thing going for well over a year. After that, they never talked again. Funny story though.
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Thurston Moore, Sebadoh - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  15. #1125
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    First part's not gonna happen bro
    Then it's almost pointless.
    Quote Originally Posted by theklein25 View Post
    When Foster the People played Pumped Up Kicks I freaked the fuck out because I thought that song was long gone

  16. #1126
    old school ods..'s Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    First part's not gonna happen bro
    Trust me. That is EXACTLY what you want to happen.

  17. #1127
    old school ods..'s Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Neighborhood Creep View Post
    Then it's almost pointless.
    Like trying to play tennis with the racquet cover still on.

  18. #1128
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Yeah bro.

  19. #1129

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Yeah, I'm not going to ask her to go on birth control before the first time we ever fuck. Not happening.
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Thurston Moore, Sebadoh - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  20. #1130
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by ods.. View Post
    Like trying to play tennis with the racquet cover still on.
    It's worth the risk. That wetness... that wetness...
    Quote Originally Posted by theklein25 View Post
    When Foster the People played Pumped Up Kicks I freaked the fuck out because I thought that song was long gone

  21. #1131
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    So are you dating someone, or just wishful thinking right now?

  22. #1132
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    Yeah, I'm not going to ask her to go on birth control before the first time we ever fuck. Not happening.
    Don't worry, she doesn't want it anymore than you. Tell her to take a plan B the next morning after you hit it again.
    Quote Originally Posted by theklein25 View Post
    When Foster the People played Pumped Up Kicks I freaked the fuck out because I thought that song was long gone

  23. #1133

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Yeah I've been seeing someone for about three months.
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Thurston Moore, Sebadoh - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  24. #1134
    old school ods..'s Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Lulululul make her pay for half

    Edit: for plan b

  25. #1135
    old school xanman86's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by IceyHotshot View Post
    lol. if past history is any indication, I won't finish
    Not sure if this story has been told already but care to elaborate?

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  26. #1136

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Meaning a HJ or BJ has never made me cum
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Thurston Moore, Sebadoh - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

  27. #1137
    Coachella Junkie Neighborhood Creep's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I always thought supre was the only virgin on this board
    Quote Originally Posted by theklein25 View Post
    When Foster the People played Pumped Up Kicks I freaked the fuck out because I thought that song was long gone

  28. #1138
    old school ods..'s Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Hand jobs aren't real things.

    Practice fucking her mouth.

  29. #1139
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    How do you know she isn't already on birth control?

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  30. #1140

    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Well this has been fun. Onto something new. I'm not going to update you fuckers when it happens.
    Arcade Fire - Sir Richard Bishop, Bill Orcutt - Spoon - Paul McCartney - Steve Gunn - Beserktown Fest - Slint - Sleep - Swans - Owen Pallett - Neutral Milk Hotel - Chris Thile & Edgar Meyer - Bobby Bradford Quartet - Matana Roberts - Wadada Leo Smith, Anthony Braxton - Thurston Moore, Sebadoh - Songs for Unseen Warhol Films - Ben Frost, Tim Hecker, Pete Swanson - Ryoji Ikeda - Slowdive - A Winged Victory for the Sullen - John Zorn Marathon

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