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Thread: The Sex thread

  1. #931
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I need more stories.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  2. #932
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    (Maybe not Amyzzz, but she does seem pretty freaky)
    This statement worries me considering I resemble the heroine in Twilight in the actions I take. I just have an active imagination.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  3. #933
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Once you find the right guy I am guessing you will be able to embrace your inner freak. Then you will have plenty of stories for this thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  4. #934
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I guess I'll never live down the dog fantasies I had when I was 20.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  5. #935
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    DISSED BY AMYZZZ
    Tom has been lurking in this thread for quite some time.


    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    I need more stories.
    Sex. It happens. It's fun otherwise, share details of your failures.


    Do you watch porn amy?

  6. #936
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    I need more stories.
    Amy do you need someone to umm show you websites with stories?
    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    HAY CAN SOMEONE DRIVE DOWN TO THE FESTIVAL GROUNDS AND SEE IF THE BEER BARN IS REALLY A BARN?

  7. #937
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I want boardie stories.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  8. #938
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    But not my stories.

  9. #939
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I bet gunz knows of some of the best S&M clubs in the Orange County area

  10. #940
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    You haven't been telling any stories! If you have something to tell, then by all means, tell it.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  11. #941
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I vomited Bacardi 151 all over my highschool boyfriend once during sex. He later pushed me out of his bedroom window because he thought he heard his mom opening the door. I woke in the passenger seat of my car a few hours later with a sizeable piece of glass protruding from knee and blood everywhere.

    SEX STORY

    4/11-13: Coachella
    4/15: The Knife @ The Fox
    4/16: Factory Floor @ The Independent
    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  12. #942
    Peaceful Oasis TomAz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    I want boardie stories.
    Why?
    Quote Originally Posted by captncrzy View Post
    HAY CAN SOMEONE DRIVE DOWN TO THE FESTIVAL GROUNDS AND SEE IF THE BEER BARN IS REALLY A BARN?

  13. #943
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    That doesn't sound genuine.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  14. #944
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    Why?
    For the same reason anyone would want boardie almost-nudes.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  15. #945
    Member footixy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    For fappy time

  16. #946
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    That doesn't sound genuine.
    You didn't have sex with a competitive narcissistic egomaniac in highschool, so you wouldn't know.

    4/11-13: Coachella
    4/15: The Knife @ The Fox
    4/16: Factory Floor @ The Independent
    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  17. #947
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I didn't have sex in high school, period.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  18. #948
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    AMYZZZ: WANTS BOARDIE SEX STORIES

    DOESN'T BELIEVE THEM WHEN THEY AREN'T SEXY OR INVOLVING DOGS.

    4/11-13: Coachella
    4/15: The Knife @ The Fox
    4/16: Factory Floor @ The Independent
    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  19. #949
    Member HAIRYGOOMBA's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    DISSED BY AMYZZZ
    Knowing what you want and expressing it clearly is a good beginning to a great sex story.
    For all intensive porpoises presale finally sold out

  20. #950
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Mugwog View Post
    I bet gunz knows of some of the best S&M clubs in the Orange County area
    Sure. There are so many of them.

  21. #951
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by HAIRYGOOMBA View Post
    Knowing what you want and expressing it clearly is a good beginning to a great sex story.
    Very true, but even better is meeting that person that you just click with sexually. Not having to discuss what it is you need or want because it just happens naturally. Unfortunately this is the case for me and my ex, which is why I can't stop sleeping with him, and it pisses me off.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  22. #952
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by algunz View Post
    Sure. There are so many of them.

    Lets go clubbing sometime guurrrrl

  23. #953
    Member clleadz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Mugwog View Post
    I bet gunz knows of some of the best S&M clubs in the Orange County area
    I went to one last month. That was an experience.

  24. #954
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    AMYZZZ: WANTS BOARDIE SEX STORIES

    DOESN'T BELIEVE THEM WHEN THEY AREN'T SEXY OR INVOLVING DOGS.
    No, I don't believe most of what you say.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  25. #955
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I've shared that story at least a few times in other threads on this board, but PER USUAL we are such a boring fucking lot that we all continue to have the same fucking conversations every couple of months and remain wildly entertained by our own lameness.

    But sure, that story isn't true. This one is: getbetter and I did some serious reconnaissance weekend one and got dirty on your daughter's sleeping bag.

    4/11-13: Coachella
    4/15: The Knife @ The Fox
    4/16: Factory Floor @ The Independent
    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  26. #956
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    My daughter vomited all over that sleeping bag on Friday night, so you two are turned on by odd things.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  27. #957
    Coachella Junkie locachica73's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    You remember what you say on here for a couple months at a time? Man, I can barely remember what I typed an hour ago. Enjoy your memory while it lasts.
    Quote Originally Posted by SlowMotionApocalypse View Post
    I have snuck in weapons before
    Quote Originally Posted by TomAz View Post
    A butt plug is not a weapon.

  28. #958
    zeezus amyzzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    We do have the same conversations over and over; Cara is right. I hadn't read that story before though.
    Quote Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47 View Post
    i fucking hate women with their lives together who try and help other people. where are the needy bitches at?!

  29. #959
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by locachica73 View Post
    You remember what you say on here for a couple months at a time? Man, I can barely remember what I typed an hour ago. Enjoy your memory while it lasts.
    You don't tell the story about finding a pot-belly pig in the bathroom of the house you were staying at ENOUGH. It kills me.

    4/11-13: Coachella
    4/15: The Knife @ The Fox
    4/16: Factory Floor @ The Independent
    4/17: The Afghan Whigs @ Slim's
    4/17: Minilogue @ Mighty
    4/26: Simian Mobile Disco, Earth @ Pappy and Harriet's
    5/2-5/4: Austin Psych Fest @ Carson Creek Ranch
    5/17: Kishi Bashi @ GAMH
    5/17: Move D b2b Optimo, Jackmaster, J.Phlip @ PW
    5/30: The Decemberists @ The Crystal Ballroom

  30. #960
    Coachella Junkie Mugwog's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by footixy View Post
    For fappy time
    Quote Originally Posted by amyzzz View Post
    I want boardie stories.
    I didn't see my girlfriend this weekend as she went to Morro Bay for a field study class. She came over yesterday, we made out, she proceeded to suck on my freshly groomed penis. As she sucketh'd my shaft, I pulled her apple bottom near and grasped it hard. Feeling her tender skin in my firm hands, I groaned as she swallowed my coinpurse whole in mouth. Warm and slick from her saliva, I struck her cheek with my sword, indicating more work was to be done. She proceeded to follow my instruction, I laid back and enjoy the warm swells through my entire person.

    With my hand I wandered to her cooze, and slowly rubbed against her mound with my palm. Slowly rotating, and occasionally ever so gently slapping her vulva. Soon she was wet with own juices, I rubbed with more intensity and she moaned. No longer could she focus. I demanded she continue to perform and she obliged. I gagged her with my bulge as punishment for stopping. I was in charge. I began to stroke her breast with my other free hand and spoke words that should never be spoken sharply into her ear. She trembled and convulsed. She had climaxed so intensely from being away from I, her lover, for so long. I demanded she mount me and she obliged.

    As I entered her, she had to slowly ease down, it was a firm entry as she had grown tight from being away from I, her lover, for so long. Grazing her labia with my whole length, I lifted her up and down upon my pulsing rod. I grew bigger and firmer inside her; feeling warm pleasure in my loins and chills of ecstasy through my mind as she nibbled on my nipples. I spoke into her ear once more, breathing hot warm air and telling her how much she enjoyed my hard cock. "Mmmmm so hard and deep in you", I whispered into her ear. She shuddered and climaxed again, unmounting her self. My cock covered in her cream, I demanded she lap it off. She obliged. I propped her up on her knees and pulled her arms behind her as I mounted her.

    I spread her legs and locked my knees in between her thighs, spreading her wide and locking her down. Again I massaged her labia with my full length, occasionally withdrawing completely and reentering with a hard, forceful, deep stab. She loved it. I soon began to pound her quim with vigor, ready to release, holding onto last moments until I could hold back no more. I withdrew, pulled her head near my groin and release a roar and a stream of hot love into her throat. She didn't let one drop go to waste.

    Last edited by Mugwog; 05-06-2013 at 02:13 PM.

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