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Thread: The Sex thread

  1. #811
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Oh, like a more boring recount of that episode of Weeds where the youngest son is flushing his cum stained socks down the toilet. Keep these riveting stories coming.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  2. #812
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I walked in on my brother in the living room jerking it off to Days of Our Lives one afternoon when soccer practice was cancelled. I was like, "You know, there's like...actual porn out there, right?"

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  3. #813
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    My storie was more gross.

  4. #814
    Coachella Junkie fatbastard's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    God no. The fat, gay Guatemalan kid in my avatar is someone else.
    First off, he's husky and he's a friend.

    Not gonna lie, your a good replacement for the fro. Why don't you guys some type of jeopardy competition for the title?
    Whiskey Sour

    2 oz blended whiskey
    Juice of 1/2 lemon
    1/2 tsp powdered sugar
    1 cherry
    1/2 slice lemon

    Shake blended whiskey, juice of lemon, and powdered sugar with ice and strain into a whiskey sour glass. Decorate with the half-slice of lemon, top with the cherry, and serve.

  5. #815
    Coachella Junkie HunterGather's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by marooko View Post
    Hunter, ever been with a gal? Has this been asked? Did you know, or come to terms?
    I have a few times. It was more so to try it out/make sure back in the day.
    It's unfortunate/fortunate (?) for myself that I didn't know what i was sooner.

    For the most part, I lived in Germany for most of my life (army brat). Had I known I loved the D around high school+early 20s, I surely would have been such a manwhore.
    I was never like "nah, I ain't gay. Fuck that fa g shit" or anything. I was just sheltered a tiny bit and thought of my gay crushes as more like man crushes (admiration for dudes).

    Sometimes I get pissed at the missed opportunities I had because I was still unsure of myself.

    I'm only 28, so it's not like a modern day tragedy. Thankfully, I don't have overly protective/religious/republican/asshole parents, so they were never the issue. It was all me.
    Last edited by HunterGather; 05-03-2013 at 04:36 PM.

  6. #816
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by guedita View Post
    I walked in on my brother in the living room jerking it off to Days of Our Lives one afternoon when soccer practice was cancelled. I was like, "You know, there's like...actual porn out there, right?"
    Haha
    I bet he said piss off and just went about his business

  7. #817
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by HunterGather View Post
    . I was just sheltered a tiny bit and thought of my gay crushes as more like man crushes (admiration for dudes).
    Kind of like Randy's admiration for Cara.

  8. #818
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    RANDY...CARA IS NOT GAY... HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND

  9. #819
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Hold the bus. HunterGatherer is 28? Why does he post the worst fucking shit gifs like a fucking 16 year old?

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  10. #820
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    He has a big dick lodged in his frontal lobe

  11. #821
    Coachella Junkie HunterGather's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I don't post the worst fucking shit gifs like a fucking 16 year old.

    I rarely post gifs at all anymore.

    You're rather cunty outside the gay thread.


    I guess I should look for the best fucking shit gifs like a 28 year old?

  12. #822
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Or maybe none at all.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  13. #823
    Coachella Junkie HunterGather's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    This bitch

  14. #824
    ankle biter guedita's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Find me some gifs from the acclaimed Soap Opera Passions, which I WISH I had walked in on my brother jerking it to, and I'll never chide you again.

    8/16: Anthony Naples, Maxmillion Dunbar @ f8
    8/18: Man Man @ The Chapel
    8/23-8/24: FYF Fest
    8/30: Peaking Lights @ The Chapel
    9/3: Bear in Heaven @ The Independent
    9/24 - 28: Decibel Festival
    10/5: The War on Drugs, Cass McCombs @ The Fillmore
    10/18-19: Treasure Island Music Festival

  15. #825
    Coachella Junkie HunterGather's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I'd rather you chide me for a no reason over a series of moving images for the seldom occasion that I do it.

    *snap snap*

    /16yearoldsgif

  16. #826
    Coachella Junkie HunterGather's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    ANYways, back to SEX


  17. #827
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    So wait, taking time out of your life to take care of your ailing mother makes people want to bang you?

    Does that work for chicks too? And how do I bring that up?
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  18. #828
    Coachella Junkie HunterGather's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    It only works if you're a hardened, emotionless man's man.

  19. #829
    Banned marooko's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by HunterGather View Post
    I have a few times. It was more so to try it out/make sure back in the day.
    It's unfortunate/fortunate (?) for myself that I didn't know what i was sooner.

    For the most part, I lived in Germany for most of my life (army brat). Had I known I loved the D around high school+early 20s, I surely would have been such a manwhore.
    I was never like "nah, I ain't gay. Fuck that fa g shit" or anything. I was just sheltered a tiny bit and thought of my gay crushes as more like man crushes (admiration for dudes).

    Sometimes I get pissed at the missed opportunities I had because I was still unsure of myself.

    I'm only 28, so it's not like a modern day tragedy. Thankfully, I don't have overly protective/religious/republican/asshole parents, so they were never the issue. It was all me.
    So it was more that you were unsure, rather than feeling like you wouldn't have any support?

    Pitcher, catcher, both, neither? When you're interested, are you aggressive like some dudes are with chicks? Would you be upset if a straight guy lead you on for, say, drinks? That's if you'd even buy someone a drink. 28, eh. When did you come out/accept/realize?

  20. #830
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Um... I don't want to get too much into this because it might negatively impact certain people. But short version: towards the end of my stint in NJ, I was in an open relationship with a woman who was kind of a legend in our neck of the woods. Everybody wanted to fuck her--guys for sure, girls with any bi or gay tendencies whatsoever, even girls who were otherwise straight for whatever reason wanted to fuck her. I'd always done pretty well for myself, but when she and I finally got going (we'd known each other for a decade or so but the timing was just never right for anything to happen before) things got a little nuts. Since I was just coming off my longest relationship ever, she decided to facilitate my need to play catch-up, and just started bringing girls back home with us. Different ones. All her friends (literally all her friends except for the ones that were married, although there were a couple that were married but had open marriages or whatever), girls she'd see out at the bar or party and just decide they were coming home with us. She had a preternatural gift.

    Also, this whole time she was engaged (the fiancee lived in London, she was trying to move there). He knew what was going on but he couldn't really do much about it. After she was married, nothing changed. When I moved to LA though it broke her heart and she was NOT the type that that happened to. She was a man-eater-upper, NJ practically had a trail of the hearts she'd broken everywhere she went across it. But for whatever reason having to go off with her husband instead of me broke her. She's alright now but she wouldn't talk to me for a year or so.

    Then I got back to LA and... well, it's kinda hard to break the habit. Plus there's an obvious power/ego element to it that comes into play. It gets into your head that the more women you "please" (read: please for a while and then they hate your fucking guts) the better you are. Becomes compulsive and obsessive.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
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  21. #831
    The Encyclopedia bmack86's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by HunterGather View Post
    It only works if you're a hardened, emotionless man's man.
    No offense, but I asked for the ladies, not the gentlemen. Maybe the same response, but I've very little interest in sexing up dudes.
    Quote Originally Posted by canexplain View Post
    Remember Hitler? I don't but here we are again .. cr****

  22. #832
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Actually part of how I broke that chick's heart is a good demonstration of the addiction:

    I could have sex with anyone I wanted while I was with her, and anyone I wanted she would gladly help me obtain. There was literally only ONE chick in her entire circle of friends she told me explicitly not to fuck for some reason that I can't really remember. One out of like twenty five, and I got head from at least 22 of the other ones and my girl didn't bat a lash.

    Naturally I had to fuck the ONLY girl she made me promise not to. I had a valid reason--her boyfriend was an asshole and I owed him a punch in the head, but since that would cause more drama, I figured fucking his girlfriend was a fair compromise--but that's sex addiction.

    "You can have as much sex as you want with 99 out of these 100 women, but not that other one."

    "Okay, well I'm gonna have to fuck that other one then."
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  23. #833
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    So wait, taking time out of your life to take care of your ailing mother makes people want to bang you?

    Does that work for chicks too? And how do I bring that up?
    I should think your facial hair would be enough of a hook.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  24. #834
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    I'm sure all the guys love tugging on your mustache, C

  25. #835
    Coachella Junkie algunz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Randy, that sounds more like an addict stuck in a situation where he was provided consistent pleasure. Sex was the drug, not the drive.

  26. #836
    Banned thelastgreatman's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Oh my god, just shut the fuck up. Seriously.

    THE DRUG IS NEVER THE DRIVE. NEVER. NO ONE IS A DRUG ADDICT BECAUSE THEY LOVE THE DRUG, YOU UNBELIEVABLY STUPID CUNT. STOP TRYING TO SPEAK KNOWLEDGEABLY ABOUT SUBJECTS THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT, WHICH IS EVERY FUCKING SUBJECT EVER.
    Quote Originally Posted by schoolofruckus View Post
    Look, your parenting is yours and Randy's business alone.
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  27. #837
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by VigoTheCarpathian View Post
    I'm sure all the guys love tugging on your mustache, C
    I've been known to reel 'em in with my upper lip.

    Although does an Armenian really have any room to discuss hair? The fuzzy mantelpiece of an eyebrow is imposing, to say the least.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

  28. #838
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by thelastgreatman View Post
    Oh my god, just shut the fuck up. Seriously.

    THE DRUG IS NEVER THE DRIVE. NEVER. NO ONE IS A DRUG ADDICT BECAUSE THEY LOVE THE DRUG, YOU UNBELIEVABLY STUPID CUNT. STOP TRYING TO SPEAK KNOWLEDGEABLY ABOUT SUBJECTS THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT, WHICH IS EVERY FUCKING SUBJECT EVER.
    Did you read what she said you fucking sociopath

  29. #839
    VigoTheCarpathian
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Quote Originally Posted by miscorrections View Post
    I've been known to reel 'em in with my upper lip.

    Although does an Armenian really have any room to discuss hair? The fuzzy mantelpiece of an eyebrow is imposing, to say the least.
    Oh you don't see me talking shit on Smurfs or whatever clan you were born of.

  30. #840
    Gummi bear sultan miscorrections's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Sex thread

    Feel free, although I'm not sure what Smurfs have to do with anything.
    Quote Originally Posted by bmack86 View Post
    Has anyone gone on a date with a sandwich recently? What base did you get to? Ham?

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